It's Sunday Again!

Morning son, it's Sunday again and I'm thinking especially of you. I talked with grandma yesterday.  She and I talked about you and grandpa.  Grandma says that even as long as grandpa has been gone from this earth there are still time she sheds tears.  I had a rough period Friday afternoon and evening, as you probably already know.  Dad and I were talking about his birthday tomorrow and it dawned on me this will be the first of dad's birthday's you've ever missed.  It will be the first "holiday" and I just lost it. I know that you're okay and I'm so thankful that you aren't hurting.  But I really miss you. I know it's suppose to hurt but I never expected that it would cause me to have a weight on my heart. Sometimes it's so heavy it's difficult to breathe. Grandma says that there are still things that happen that tug at her heart because she knows how much grandpa would have enjoyed it.  There are events that they shared together for over 50 years that she misses sharing with him and that tugs at her heart.  She said that although she still misses him she cannot imagine what it would be like if she had lost a child. Children

You, Auntie Di and Grandma

are not suppose to leave before parents. I guess because I've never experienced these feelings before I don't now what to expect. I do know that I love you and miss you so much it actually, physically does hurt at times.  I guess that once I knew you weren't in pain any longer I would be okay. It ain't happenin'.....yet.  And after talking with grandma, and Corey too, who lost her mom, over the years it will change.  How, for me, I don't know yet.  But I know it's okay.  I'm sure people are wondering what this crazy lady is doing writing to her son every week.  You know me, I really don't care. And, I'm not crazy.  It's very comforting for me to share with you just like I always did.  I'm a little concerned about your dad.  I think he's trying to hold it all in because he doesn't want to upset me.  For me, holding it in has never been an option since I met your dad.  He has been, and continues to be, my rock on this earth.  He has always believed in me and continues to encourage, well, actually, "push" is the real word to describe that.  Gently push, but none-the-less, push!  Made you laugh!


Anyway, how's your Sunday?  Full of bright and glorious things I would imagine. I am so thankful for that.  It gives me great comfort to think about you sitting with all the family and friends there.  Dad sees you more actively participating in the heavenly events.  For some reason I see you sitting quietly by the river contemplating and worshiping the Lord.  I see you reflecting on God's glory and praising the heavenly Father.  I do see you spending time with Grandpa; guess it's selfish on my part because I miss him so much too.  Be good, as always, to your grandpa. He loved you very, very much.

Sierra

Today is Sierra's 16th birthday! Happy Birthday Sierra! I can hardly believe it.  She's ready for a driver's permit.  We're going over this evening for a NON-official birthday.  Jamison is away on a school trip this weekend and we don't dare have this celebration without him.  Tomorrow night they're having us over for dad's birthday celebration.  We tried to get Sierra to have a birthday with her friends but she says she can do that later.  She's wants to celebrate with Uncle so the next couple of days is party, party!  I know, so what's new right?!

Jamison & Josie call it a night!

Josie was over yesterday.  Jon had taken her to the boy's soccer games early in the day but she didn't want to go back later she wanted to come to Aunt Jan's and Uncles.  Now really, let's see, hang shelves and finish the studio or play with Josie.  Like that's even a question!  We did our usual, dress-up, the Princess puzzle, ate, watched movies, talked about school, and talked about the birthday party last weekend. As you know, we don't do naps at Uncle and Aunt Jan's so she finally crashed about 10pm with Jamison on the couch.

Guess Who and the "Arm"

Corey, Renee, Paul and your uncle Bill had their annual "Celebrate Papaw" weekend at the The Homestead .  If all of us could just be a fly on the wall during that weekend.  The ammunition we could come back with!  I don't know if I can make this story as funny as Corey did when she told dad and I, but since you know Corey you can imagine her telling it. The zaniness of this family never ceases to amaze me.  Well anyway, Renee, Paul and Corey decided that their deceased mother would not be pleased they were having these annual events and not inviting her.  Corey scoured the "institution" (a more befitting title with these three in residence than "hotel) until she found some poor employee that went "on the hunt" with her until they found in the basement an arm of a mannequin.  Corey, totally jumping up and down at the find, took the arm, dressed it for the evening  in glove, scarf and ring and placed it on the dining table that evening.  I know, I know, right up your alley huh. But, evidently your Uncle Paul is not happy with the arm just "sitting there".  So, as the conversation at the table continued, Paul took the arm and ran it up and down Papaw's (or Uncle Bill to you) face. Now you can only image Renee and Corey right now.  They were bowled over, literally, tears streaming down their cheeks, slobbering and probably snot running from their noses.  Now this is quite an upscale "institution" in which they have taken up residence for this annual event.  Needless to say, they

Renee, Paul, "Papaw", Corey

were creating quite a commotion.  People were staring and trying to find out why this table was having so much fun.  You Uncle Bill appeared to be totally oblivious to what was happening.  Since he wasn't paying attention to the arm running up and down his face and shoulder, your Uncle Paul decided to see if he could get a reaction by running it up the side of Uncle Bill's leg,  That got him!  By this time everyone was laughing.  Corey turned around to apologize for their being so loud and that the reason for the "arm" was to insert their deceased mother into their annual celebration. But the couple at the next table were having such a great time watching the four of them it didn't matter.  Later, Corey discovered the man at the table behind them had served in President Clinton's Cabinet!  It's good to know that some in government can still laugh. Last year at their annual celebration they had begun this tradition with a model of a hand they set in the middle of the table each meal. Your Uncle Bill laughed so hard he broke the blood vessels in his eye and had to have it treated.  This year they added an arm to the hand.  Who knows what they'll dream up for next year.  Only time will tell!  

Kaleel Jamison

I think this is a fantastic way to celebrate their mother.  They all loved her so much.  I hope that dad and I will always be able to celebrate you with such love and joy.  I love it when I can hear you laugh. I hope I never loose the ability to hear your laugh.  Thank you for recording the Christmas book for dad.  It will be so great to have that this year for our Christmas Eve celebration.

Dad's going to spend some time looking for a church this week.  He thinks it's time to get involved with a church family again.  I'll play it by ear.  I don't think I'm quite ready, but because it's important to dad I'll give it a try. I think this is the first time in our married lives that we didn't have a church to attend before we moved.  Dad always went ahead, found a church and a house before we moved.  It doesn't feel odd, just different I guess.  Like I said, right now I'll go because it's important to dad and we'll take it from there.  I know it's always been important to you too.  Sunday was your favorite day! Hope it still is.  Enjoy!


Until next time, we're Choosing Joy.  Love Mom