It is What It is

Dear Son, Whitney Houston died yesterday. Too young. Talent gone. Family left. Friends left. Life over. A daughter left without a mother, a mother left without a daughter. At 48, a person, life and talent and all the possibilities of that life, gone in a single moment. I found myself crying when I heard the news.  Still am. As you might imagine, the news hit a little close to home.  I so feel for the people in her life that loved her and she loved. Enjoy her in heaven. Her voice will be an amazing addition to the heavenly choir.

Just a glimpse of Troy 9 decor!

Tuesday is Valentine's Day. Another first without you. I've been playing my Valentine music box you gave me years ago. It's nice to see it on the mantle this time of year. It has so many good memories. Thank you for giving it back to me. I am so glad I have it.  Your birthday will be here before I know it. Dad and I were talking yesterday over lunch and I was telling him I was a little emotional over your upcoming birthday that I was even over Thanksgiving, Christmas and my birthday. Dad knows you're at peace and doing great. So do I.  That's not what it's about.  For me, I'm a mom and I remember the joy of holding you for the first time and knowing I was experiencing a moment with you that I would never be able to duplicate.  Holding your child for the first time is just that.  The first and only time. You never get that awesome moment again.Happy Valentine's Day son. I will always love you!

This weekend has been a really "heavy" one.  I don't know why. It's another one of those time when I can't seem to stop the tears.  Maybe I'm just tired.  I'm not crying over you.  I don't feel particularly sad about anything. I'm not worried about anything.  Maybe it's just some residual (like that big word do you?) tiredness.  I'm looking forward to some warmer weather where I can get out and walk.  The cold on my legs just about does me in and it takes for ever to get them warm again. Even here in the house I'm sitting with a blanket folded four times over my legs. I'm not upset about it, just looking forward to walking again. I'm just rambling, sorry.

Dad and I are finally catching financially. The opportunity to work again has been incredible. It feels like a perfect fit. I hope they think so too. I love working on projects and now I'm doing recognition which I really love. It's so fun doing recognition for a private company because you really get to recognize important life events. It's great to be able to share in those events with people; engagements, new babies, birthdays, anniversaries, job well done.


You'll be happy to know I finally have the software for my Cricut loaded. The downside is, yesterday morning something went cockeyed with Avast on dad's computer. The wireless adapter for the Internet "dropped" off. I reinstalled that. Avast was registered until June of this year but I upgraded Avast for additional coverage.  After four hours still no Avast. I either needed to turn shut it down or throw it out the window. I opted for shutting it down. Less mess to clean up.


Yesterday afternoon we headed to AC Moore, a hobby shop in Latham.  They had easels on sale for $10/ea.  I need them for working on wreaths.  The 5 minute trip took us 1 1/2 hours. Just as we were getting ready to take an exit the GPS lost the satellite signal. I think we traveled half way to Canada to find an exit that would loop us back around the right way. I did get my easels. I'm glad dad's handy with these type of projects because an engineer designed it and it's in tons of little pieces! I picked up a few beautiful pieces of paper to make cards and some odds and ends of embellishments and we came home.  I could have spent have the day.  Marshal's was next door and then the Hobby Lobby. Needless to say, I need to go back. I have a 55% off one item next weekend. Can't let that go to waste.

Ours weren't as pretty, but tasted great.

Josie was here Friday and Saturday nights. We made Valentine cookies Friday night and watched movies.  Saturday night we ATE some Valentine cookies, watched Peter Pan with uncle, wrestled on the couch, talked about Valentine's Day and Saturday market, painted a fingernail.  Her thumbnail was missing polish so we painted it half purple and half red. She had Rice Krispy for dinner. She usually has an apple but passed on that. And, she always has gum. She and uncle have a favorite.


Today, I'm just trying to get my head together. Don't really know what's going on but I need it clear for tomorrow morning. Dad goes in for his tests and he really doesn't need to be feeling any of this tension.

Until next week then.  I love you son, mom