Conversation is so important to who we are as people, kids, parents, and in all walks of life. Corey asked me what we did last Tuesday. We were having this conversation while we were on our "field trip" to the grocery store. That's what we do a lot of the time in order to have a visit, we push our carts around the grocery store and visit as we go. I know, weird, but it works for us. As I thought back over the week and thought about that day I realized dad and I had spent about three hours that afternoon just talking. We spend a great amount of time lately having these wonderful conversations. We were so very busy when you were growing up. I look at what parents are doing these days and ask myself, "how on earth do they keep up?". But when I think back over the last 40 years I realize our lives looked exactly like theirs. We did the same thing. Our weeks were full of dad being gone and traveling for work. At the peak of my career I was working 50 and sometimes 60 hours a week. Saturday's were "fun days" and getting ready for Sunday. Sunday was church all day and evening and then came Monday again. Life was non-stop. Sometimes now I feel like I need to be doing so much more and then I think no, I don't have to do that anymore. I can do what I want, when I want. I don't have to move at that speed any more. I don't have to feel guilty for not "keeping up". I did that. Dad did that. So, if we want to sit for three hours and just have a conversation, we can do that and feel good about it. We're just making up for all the hours of entertaining clients. If we had a three hour conversation every day it will take us the rest of our lives to catch up. That's a very good thing. Getting comfortable in this "retirement skin", takes some time, but, having conversations about what we want to be doing with this time is a wonderful way to spend some of that time.In our conversation yesterday, Dad said that he wants to walk again with Relay for Life next year. Made me smile. We thought we could do it this last summer but we just weren't ready. Yes, at first we felt guilty because we didn't do it, but it's okay, as I always say, "guilt works"! We may be moving slower than we thought, but we're moving and that's whats important.
So, let's get back to the conversation topic. Nice try to take me somewhere else but conversation is so very important. I've been thinking about it a lot since the conversation with Corey this week. As dad and I stop each afternoon and have our conversation and coffee it's such a sweet time. Now that we have our new porch I'd like to take our time outside but to do so right now would give your dad a chill and would end up being a very unpleasant time for him. I try my best to get some "meat on his bones" but about the time I get a few pounds on him he manages to walk or work it off. Wish I had that problem! We're having a great time walking and talking every afternoon when we take Jamison on his walk. We were reminded last week though, as we walked longer than we anticipated because we were talking and not watching how far we walked, that it's the same distance back. In the past, when dad and Jamison have walked to far they could just give me a call and I could go and pick them up. Doesn't work so well when I'm with them. But, the conversations we have as we stroll along are wonderful. It's so great as we stroll along on our walk, take a trip in the car or just sit in our living room to be able to have these conversations. The difference for me now is that this conversations are possible without a defined end time. When you were growing up and we were all involved in tons of activities the conversations had to fit in between everything else. Now, everything else can fit between our conversations. I like that change.
The other side is though that conversations can be hurtful and harmful. Why anyone would want to use conversation in a hurtful way is beyond me. When there are so many words in our language to lift people up, to make them feel good, to relay a joyful message, to pass along the words in books, to have conversations to share the history of our country, to share the history of family and life, to share our religious beliefs. Why oh why I have to ask myself would someone choose to have a conversation that tears someone down, make someone hurt, to rob someone of their joy, to tell an untruth? You get the picture. Why would someone do that? The only thing that comes to mind is selfishness. Someone would do that to make themselves feel better? How on earth would tearing someone apart with hurtful conversation possibly make someone feel better about themselves? I've never been able to figure that one out. I do believe that sometimes people use conversation as a game. What a pathetic way to live a life. As you know, life is too short. Especially for games, hurtful games. I hope that during your life here on this earth you saw me only use conversation and words to encourage someones life. I work very diligently to only use words and conversations to build someone up. To bring joy to their life. Now I know I'm not always successful. I know at times I've hurt someone with words or conversations. It has not been intentional and if I become aware that I have I try to make it right. I had to do that the other day. It wasn't something I said, it was something I neglected to say, "Hello". While we were on our walk the other day we came across a woman and two small children walking and playing in the area we were walking. The little boy and girl came over and played with Jamison for a minute while dad and I chatted and then we all went on our way. Later on the way home dad mentioned that it was good to see so and so (I won't use her name ) and her grand kids. I looked at him dumbfounded. That was, so and so? He said yes, didn't you recognize the grand kids. I hadn't. I felt so bad. How could I be so rude. As we approached her house I told dad to go on, I needed to take a short detour. I stopped by her house and knocked. She came to the door and I said, "I am so very sorry I didn't speak to you a little while ago. That was very rude of me. I simply did not recognize you". She looked at me as though to say, "why are you apologizing?" but said, "that's ok, no problem". I said, "No, it isn't alright. My mother would have been horrified that I had been so rude." She nodded and I headed home. My point, words can hurt when NOT said just as badly as when they are said.
What a gift God has given us. The gift of words, language and conversation. They can bring joy or pain. But we should always be truthful and not "throw bouquets" as dad has always said. Conversation is a powerful tool. We should be careful how we "throw it about".Until next week, be Aaron, love mom
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