Illumination

Good morning son! How's the light in heaven this morning? That's rhetorical question. Brilliant and above my imagination. I know. Light and illumination has been on my mind all week. Our lives depend on it in so many ways. I know I often take light for granted, until I don't have it. As I mature in life, grow older in case your didn't catch it, it becomes even more necessary. I can remember when your grandpa and grandma we're having their new house built in Oakdale and the contractor asked grandma what color of paint she wanted on the living room walls. Her reply, without hesitation, was WHITE! I want everything white. She told me later that she'd found as she got older the white reflected the light so much better and as she aged she need more light. I find that true as well. However, I'm not at a place where I can have everything painted white as of yet, that would be your Auntie Di! I still need my color even if it's just an accent wall. Speaking of which, with the exception of painting our front door, our entry (lobby) to our home is complete.

Lobby before

and after

After

 Adding the color was wonderful, but ridding the lobby of the cobwebs and dirt was a feeling of satisfaction beyond measure. It's another reason to not wait on someone else to do something sometimes. The landlord asked us two years ago to not do anything because they were going to put paneling on all the walls. That hasn't happened and I couldn't stand it any longer. I think I told you about the supply list last week but just in case you forgot, the perfect yellow paint for the walls, I think the full gallon at Habitat was $7, two rolls of border, $1.98 and less than a cup of my quart of high heat paint for the heater about $1 and two 6' pine board for shelves, $9.95. I figure, other than the weeks work of scrubbing and cleaning,

materials cost us between $13-15. And mama is happy. You know what they say, "When mama's not happy, nobody's happy".  I learned to use the table saw this week too. I wanted to build the shelves  in the "door that goes to no where" in our hallway. I drew up the plans, figured how much and what type of wood I would need, measured and cut. Dad taught me how to set up the saw and gave me tips and help as I put lumber to saw blade. Once I had everything painted I leveled and installed the brackets and shelves. They came out pretty good even if I do say so myself. We did this work in the basement since it was a small project but we'll move the saw up to the deck this week and cut to my hearts content! I'm drawing up plans now for a table I want to make for the front porch out of the reclaimed wood we picked up roadside a

couple of weeks ago. The makeover in the lobby was also a safety issue for all of us here in our home. It's very dark here in the winter and our entry light is set on a sensor. When guests leave our home it's dark in the hall until they reach the door so I wanted to put a small light in the hallway that we could leave on at night. Success! Since there wasn't an outlet in the hallway, Dad ran an extension cord under the door thresh hold and voile', light.

Yesterday I brought up the Fall decor and began. I remade the Fall wreath for the front door. I don't know what shape you would call it. The poor thing is a grapevine wreath and has been on so many doors and moved so many times over the years it has taken on a quirky shape but I use it every year anyway. I just take what I have and rework it. For me, it's not about perfection, it's about the color and the light As you know, Fall and Autumn is my favorite time of year. For dad it's Christmas, for me, it's Fall and Autumn.

I'm continuing to do some sketching and again, light, especially natural light, is playing an

important part in that sketching. Things appear so differently in the light. I remember how unhappy you were when a remake of a black and white movie would come out and they would colorize it. You always talked about what a sad thing it was for them to do that because someone had worked so hard to get the perfect lighting in the black and white shots and all that effort was lost and the light was gone when the movie was colorized. You even refused to watch your favorite movie, "It's A Wonderful Life" unless it was the black and white version. Everything we do in life uses one form of light or another. We ourselves shed light. Or at least we hope we do. I remember all the times during your final journey when you said to me, "Mom, if just one person is able to see the "light", and I knew you were talking about the Lord, or if just one person is helped in any way through this journey the Lord has me taking, just one person, then it will be worth all the pain, all the agony, all the chemo, all the drugs and the loss of my physical life. Son, you had a light, you chose to call is "JOY". 

This week Sarah shared something with dad and me and she has given her permission for me

to share it here on my blog. Although we all want to know that our lives have meaning very often we never get to see the results of our lives nor do we hear if we have made a different in any one's life. Sarah is an awesome young woman who God has placed in our lives years ago. I don't believe any of us had any idea where our lives would go so many years ago. We just saw a need at the time and God used our family. What an awesome God He is to let us share in this miracle.Here's Sarah's story, written in her own words:

Sarah Monkhouse

10-July-2013

Choosing Joy

            Aaron came into my life at a point where I needed a friend and a big brother almost more than I needed air to breathe.  My life was falling apart; I was going to have to move schools, again. I had finally found the place that I fit in. After going to twenty-four different schools, some for only a day, I was devastated to know I would be starting all over for the twenty-fifth time.  My mom was in the midst of yet another divorce and this time I was sure that I was to blame.  At the tender age of ten I just knew that somehow everything was my fault.  I can’t remember exactly how it came about but I somehow ended up in a musical comedy at my church about the ‘fourth wise man’ that got lost along the way to find baby Jesus.   It was actually quite funny and witty.  I was standing there a shy awkward kid, who was nervous about being put on a stage in front of what may as well have been a hundred thousand people, when suddenly Aaron appeared the spotlight from stage left with a booming heavenly voice.  I was in complete awe of the aura he projected, he was one of the largest people I have ever seen, and while he was physically large that is not what I mean here.   He took up more space than seemed possible and radiated happiness and had a lightness that filled the whole building.  I knew this guy had something I wanted; if I could just be like that I was sure nothing would ever bother me again. 

All of this musical frivolousness was happening just as the rug was yanked from beneath my feet and I was looking for a safe place to land; my mother and I were again without a place where we felt safe.  Aaron and his parents, who would later become affectionately known in our family as Auntie Jan and Uncle Ray, took my mother and I into their house at a pivotal point in our lives.  I am not sure if it has been clear enough to this point, but it was Christmas and we were alone.  They made it the most memorable Christmas possible. Ray was a dead ringer for Santa and Jan easily met the qualifications to be his Mrs. Clause.  Their whole house perfectly captured the spirit of the Christmas Season.  It had the aroma of a hot oven bursting with homemade bread plopped down in the middle of a freshly snowed on forest, it had tiny villages and ice skaters gliding on impossibly smooth sheets of ice.  I later came to know that their house was a winter wonderland year round.  That Christmas I learned how to play so many different board games that I dreamt of what move I would make next as I slept.  We made ornaments, homemade cinnamon rolls, and in the end learned what it was like to be a normal stable family.   It was a lesson I will never forget and I treasure being able to pass along the feeling of that holiday to my own children as we grow and set our own traditions as a family.

After the holidays came to pass Aaron and his family helped us get our house set up, redecorated and turned into a place where my mom and I would be happy living.  My mom wasn’t as changed by the experience as I was.  She went back to her old habits, but I always remembered what it was like to be a normal family.  I have instilled the values he and his family showed me into the family I am raising with my husband.  After a couple great years of friendship Aaron ended up moving away and getting married, in the meantime I was wrapped up in school and getting started with my own life.  We tried to keep in touch but got too busy becoming adults and drifted apart. 

Then the most wonderful thing happened!  I found him on Facebook.  Who’d have ever guessed that Facebook would do something good?  As we planned out a visit, caught up on each other’s lives, and made travel arrangements, he dropped a bomb out of the clear blue sky. He told me he had cancer. He said it without a touch of hostility or self pity. The kicker was it was terminal and he was not going to live for very much longer.  I was overwhelmingly angry.  How in the world could this happen to a man who brought so much good to the world?  As I tried to choke back the tears and conceal my anger at the unjustness of life, he told me he had made a choice.  He told me his choice was joy.  I was flabbergasted.  What did he mean he ‘chose joy’, he was dying. He was happily newlywed to an amazing woman named Kristin. Now he was not going to be a father, would never grow old with his bride and would never know the feeling of honor that came from being called “sir” after growing to old age.  There was nothing joyful about the situation in my eyes.

A few weeks later my husband and I loaded our son and bags into the car and started our drive up to Oregon, to say what I was certain would be a long tearful goodbye to one of the biggest bright spots in my past.  Little did I know that when I got up there everything would change.  I got to meet the man that my friend had become.  He was still just as committed to God, but held no judgment against anyone, something that many Christians battle with in this day and age.  He could think of not one negative word to say about anyone.  What I was most amazed by though, was the fact that he was still him.  He was still doing standup comedy shows, treating his wife and dog like they were the most incredible creatures to walk the planet in the history of the natural world,  making time to have meals with his parents and most of all bringing light to the lives of the people he saw daily for his treatment.  

As I spent those few days with him and saw that he meant it, that he really had chosen joy, I got a new perspective on life.  If this man who had every right to be angry could smile and bring good to the world then what reason did have not to do the same?  I decided right then and there that I too would choose joy.   Aaron had gotten sleeve tattoos and done some fun things with his hair upon finding out that he would not have to worry about what they would look like when he grew up, because of this he knew a fantastic artist.  I went with him to get “Choose Joy” tattooed on my shoulder before I hit the long road home.  While we were there a woman who I didn’t know walked out from behind the curtain of the tattooing area and looked like she was surprised to see us there.  She said she was really happy to run into Aaron there because she was too excited to wait until Monday to show him what she had just done.  She had just had “Choose Joy” tattooed across her wrist.  She said she would see it every time she looked at her watch to take someone’s pulse.  It was then that I realized she was his nurse.   He had not only made a lifelong impact on my life, but the life of many others as well.  

 Aaron kept a blog (judasforgiven.blogspot.com) right up until his final days and was able to reach farther than I knew a single person could; he was gifted a trip to New York to see one of his favorite books, Wicked , performed on Broadway by a DJ in Kansas who heard his story.  He had dinner in the exclusive club 33 inside of Disneyland courtesy of a friend.  He personally gave one of his “Choose Joy” bracelets to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt while on a trip to Knott’s Berry Farm.  Most importantly though, he was able to publicly spread his story about finding joy in the face to difficulties and deciding he would be happy for the time that he had left. 

Unfortunately when I hugged him goodbye that day it would be the last time I would see him, but I am proud to say that he chose joy right up to the end.  I am also very proud to have called him a friend.   Because of him, I realized what I want to be when I finish growing up; because of him I will be an oncology nurse.  He inspired me to be the best me I can be, not only for myself but for the world around me.  The world is free to be grumpy and find the negative in life, but for me, I choose joy.

 Until next week, be Aaron, love mom