Son, We're Really Home!

Well son, how was your first week in heaven? I can only imagine the joy you are experiencing living with the Lord and basking in his light.  I hope you don't mind the interruption but I have some things I want to tell you. Dad and I love you and miss you but we're oh so happy for you.  How does it feel to be perfect?  I bet you haven't even noticed because you're spending so much time on the important things, like talking with the Savior, singing with the choir, marveling at the River of Life and praising the Lord.  Dad and I are so thankful that you are pain free and cancer free. Bet you haven't even noticed huh?  You're too busy doing important things, like praising the Lord. We're rejoicing with you!  As I've told you before, dad and I are fine. So is Kristin.  You laid a perfect foundation for us all.

"The Gang". Well part of them anyway!

Corey, Jon and the kids have been the wonder you imagined.  They share our loss and our joy.  They've supported us through your transition just as you dreamed they would. We know that there will continue to be "those moments" when we miss you terribly but we no longer feel the pain of being helpless.  Thank you so much for the dream you had for us and for the gift you gave us. We're truly happy here in Troy and Troy is very much now home.  The fact that you wanted us to come back and get settled was another amazing gift you gave us. When we had our conversation mid-summer and you said you'd rather we'd come back to Springfield, all of us knew that it would mean we would not be able to come back for your memorial service.  We all decided that we'd rather spend the time together visiting and having a good time and going to Relay for Life.  We all understood, that financially, we could only make one trip.  You'll be happy to know, if you don't already, that God worked a miracle, again!  When the news of your transition hit the news and the fact that dad and I couldn't financially afford to make the trip, several airlines, and some friends came forward and offered to pay our way, round trip. As you can imagine, it "blew our minds".  

Dad and I were in no shape to handle any of it.  So, just as you planned, Corey was right there.  She handled everything. Jon was right there with her pitching in.  Corey was able to go with us because Jon was willing to stay home and take care of the family.  What a team!  If someone had a question I was just able to forward it to Corey.  We ended up traveling with Southwest Airlines. They offered the best route for our needs.  Corey arranged everything and she said the airline was absolutely wonderful.  Dad and I were kind of out of it but we just followed the sound of Corey's voice and we were able to navigate the entire trip and have a good trip. 

We had many offers from friends to stay while we were in Springfield.  In the end we decided to stay in a motel.  We would not have been good company and it was nice to have a quiet place to retreat when we needed to.  We all talked together a lot about you and our memories.  You, dad and I have talked many times over the years about the memories we created together. Many of the memories  we thought were being created for you only to find out they were memories we were going to need.

Your dad, my knight in shining armor.

You would have laughed your head off if you had been on the plane with us.  As you know, dad has a slight, just slight, competitive streak in him.  Yeah, right! So, he wants to be first to the airport, first to board and first to de-board.  Getting to the airport early had to be defined.  Early for Corey means the plane isn't rolling down the runway! Early for dad means you're at the gate in a seat two hours before boarding the plane!  We compromised.  Corey is a wonder at traveling, as you would imaging since she's on planes as much as she's on land.  She had everything printed and ready to go.  Southwest employees knew who we were and were ready for us at every single gate.  The whole process was seamless for us. Boarding was no problem.  The airlines make sure we were pre-boarded at every gate.  It worked wonderfully for dad because of his knee.  And you'll be happy to know he navigated the entire trip without his brace.  It's the one thing we forgot if you can believe that! But, the good thing is, Corey had grabbed dad's cane when she loaded the suitcases so he did just great.  He loved sharing his cane and what you had written on it so it was just as well that he forgot his brace.  You'd have laughed to know that Corey had looked up Dr. Slocum's office and had his number in her phone, "just in case". She didn't miss a beat.  The most difficult thing on the plane ride for dad was having to wait to de-board.  His competitive edge just really wanted to get off that plane. It was much easier to wait until everyone was off and then we could take our time.  Whether he admits it or not, it was easier for him too and he was less likely to turn that knee.  He's a real trooper though and made it just fine.


The three of us had a wonderful trip together.  We laughed, talked, read, slept and ate. Do you have any idea how many Raisinets your cousin Corey can eat?  Flights were uneventful and we arrived in Springfield about 6pm Friday night. Your uncle Ron and Auntie Di arrived a few minutes before we did.  They dropped grandma off in Central Point at Aunt Lena's so she could have a good night's sleep.  Jim was picking them up the next morning to bring them up for the service. We all had a quick dinner together and then went back to our room to rest for the next day.  I don't think Corey rested, she had a 10 page paper to write!  Besides, I don't think I've ever seen her rest.  I think she has a wind-up key somewhere and I haven't found it yet!

I was able to spend some great time with friends and family Saturday morning.  We all met at Gateway Mall for coffee and later a quick lunch before the service.  It was great to visit, laugh and cry.  We have such great friends in Springfield son.  Dad took the opportunity to run a few errands. Uncle Ron took the opportunity to check out Cabella's. I don't think he fishes, hunts or golfs.  Must be a "man thing".  It was super great to see grandma, Ron, Auntie Di, Jim and Aunt Lena.  It was a very long trip for all of them but it was so great to look over and see them all sitting there in the family row.


I must say we were a little apprehensive about the service. You being you, we didn't really know what to expect.  Son, it was a beautiful service.  Everything was perfect. Your pastor Tony did an amazing job.  The service was seamless.  The songs were just you. Kristin was beautiful.  You would have been amazed or, maybe you were watching, it wouldn't surprise me at all. Dad and I were so blessed.  It was so comforting to know how well your pastor knew you.  It was comforting to see how many lives you have blessed.  It's so comforting to know how many people love you.  Yes, I'm writing in the present tense because I believe that just because the Lord wanted you home it does not lessen the love people have for you here on earth.  Hundreds of your friends were there to celebrate your life.  

We tried to find Mr. Siegle but in the mass of people around us expressing their love for you and giving us hugs we could not find him.  We'll be writing many cards in the next couple of weeks.  

Oh, I know you'd want to know this.  During the service, Tony mentioned your birthday. After the service, Joe Leahy came up and told me that he and his wife Judy were were married on your birthday, February 24, 1973.  That kind of explains the special connection that you've always felt with Joe.

Home, a beautiful sight!

Once the service was over dad and I realized we really wanted to go home.  We had already planned on leaving Sunday morning but I didn't know how I'd feel about leaving so soon.  But we were ready. It is wonderful for both of us to know that Troy is home. Dad said someone was commenting on the winter months in NY and how difficult they were going to be and dad said he caught himself defending the weather in NY.  It suddenly dawned on him that he was defending his home and it really felt great.  Troy is home.  We're dreading nothing any longer.  We're looking forward to our life here.  We're anticipating great things here.  We're finding joy here.  Again, thank you for the gift.  Everyday finds us "unwrapping" another piece of the gift.  We think of you every time we discover something new.  But, it's not with sadness, but with joy.  I'll continue to keep you posted as time goes on.  Continue to enjoy the presence of the Lord.


I have to share one last thing for right now.  Some people will think this is gross and unfitting I'm sure.  I'm sharing  it with you because I know you'll laugh your head off.

As I said, when we arrived in Albany NY, we waited until the plane was clear before de-boarding.  Corey and I laughed our heads off watching dad as he twitched, grumbled and turned wanting to get off the plane.  It was a standing joke every time the plane landed..  On the last leg of our journey, as we were de-boarding in Albany last night, dad was twitching, grumbling and turning as he was waiting.  He looked over at me and said, "Oh woe is me.  I guess I could be Biblical about it and sit here in sack cloth and ashes. Yep, you know your mother well.  I did it!  In rapid fire I immediately replied, "well, we had the ashes but we shipped them Fed-Ex".



We have so many people to thank, including you. You've left an amazing footprint and Dad and I believe your message will continue to ring...Choose Joy!


Until next time, mom

Hello Son - We're OK

Okay son, tomorrow morning at 6:15 am we head back to Springfield OR for your  Memorial Service.You made it very, very clear that you wanted this to be a celebration of life as opposed to a "formal", sorrowful event. So, with that in mind I'm packing jeans, t-shirts and flip-flops.  It's taking all the will power your dad has NOT to pack a suit and tie.  I may end up having to tie him down.  About the only way I was able to convince him was that we're only packing the smallest suitcase we own and we're NOT taking a garment bag.  I don't even want to take the laptop but I can just hear you whispering over my shoulder, "you'll be sorry!".  I don't plan on having enough time to be on the computer.  I can log onto Face Book via my Kindle.  If you were here I could find out if I have the capability to log onto GMail, but given that you're not speaking to me right now, guess I'll have to figure it out myself.  I will say that you have left dad and I pretty well off when it comes to knowledge about our computer and our electronics.  For dad, the electronics knowledge come pretty easy because he has a lot of historical knowledge.  For me, I'm learning as I go, but you'll be happy to know, I'm learning.

I don't have any idea what to expect as far as your memorial service.  I bet there are going to be a lot of people.  You have many, many friends son, and they all love you very much.  You've made quite an impact here on this earth.  Dad and I are very proud of you.  I know that for the last month or so it was very difficult for you to hear us say that we were proud of you.  Since you're with the Master now, I hope you know and understand what we were saying when we said we were proud of you.  You never fell short of our expectations; in most cases, you exceeded them.  Never in my wildest dreams, and yes, I am your mother, but I've had some wild ones too!

I know that you are pleased that Kristin is doing well.  We all have our moments, as to be expected, but she's holding together and getting things done.  There continue to be many miracles, as you can probably see, but I'll tell you anyway. 

Today, Staples recognized your picture on the memorial program Kristin took in for printing and gave Kristin half off the cost and folded them for free.  Later when Kristin went in to pick them up she was told that "a friend" had come by and paid the balance.  



Your friend Mike Peterson and his wife Molly had a healthy baby boy.  They named him Aaron Bruce.  Aaron as a tribute to you.  What a tribute to you and the message you carried.  Mike Petersen In Mike's own words,

"Our boy will grow up knowing the great man he was named after and will learn to Choose Joy. Anyone who's asked in the past 9 months knows that I wanted a less-common name, but the opportunity to honor a dear friend and incredible human could not be passed up. Did God have Aaron wait to die for our baby? I think possibly so."

 Now don't get a big head.  I just want you to know that your legacy of Choosing Joy is being carried forward.

As I said, dad and I are headed out in the morning for Springfield. When Gawker heard that dad and I couldn't make the trip for your memorial service because we had chosen to visit with you in July and participate in the Relay for Life with you, several airlines offered to fly us out, round-trip, for the service.  The best options were offered through Southwest Airlines.  What a blessing this is.  We're so very appreciative and know that you would be so pleased. Corey is coming with us.  

Just as you planned, Corey, Jon and the kids have been right there through all of this.  The kids have turned out to be the best blood pressure medicine either of us could take.  Dad went to the doctor yesterday and his blood pressure was back to normal.  The doctor said he didn't know what he was doing, but just keep right on doing it  We went over and had your favorite, breakfast for dinner last night; eggs, buttermilk biscuits and bacon.  Boy, the biscuits came out beautiful.  I thought of you as I was making them.  I'm really glad son that I have someone else to make them for that enjoy them so much.  I mean really, how many biscuits can dad eat in one setting?  Don't answer that.  

Any-hoo, we'll get into Portland between 2:00-2:30pm tomorrow afternoon.  Don't know exactly what time we'll get into Springfield.  Kristin would like to visit and have dinner tomorrow night.  We'll see what we can do.  Saturday morning I'm going to meet some of my friends at Gateway Mall Food Court about 10:30 am for coffee and a visit.  Don't know who's coming, I just ask them to put the word out and whoever shows up shows up.  I know it will be fun no matter what and I'm looking forward to sharing some stories about you, and laughing.  We did have some great fun didn't we son? I love the memories of our times together. 

I'll miss you when I paint pottery.  I'll miss you when I'm making biscuits. I'll miss you making inanimate objects talk.  I'll miss your quick wit.  I'll miss your hugs.  I'll miss your hand-made cards.  I'll miss your singing.  I'll miss your help in the kitchen.  I'll miss your smile.  I'll miss your laugh.  I'll miss your jokes (such as they were...just kidding). I'll miss watching cartoons with you.  I'll miss you trying to teach me.  I'll miss making t-shirts with you.  I'll miss working in the studio with you. I'll miss taking trips with you.  I'll miss you!

Dad and I neither one know quite what to expect at your memorial service.  I must say I'm a little apprehensive.  Just about the time I think I've worked through all the tears, something sets them off again.  I don't want to cry the whole time we're there.  I want to be able to share the time with friends and share some more with them about how much I love you and what a great friend you were. Dad and I will never get over that you're not here with us but we will do all in our power to live up to what you dreamed of for us.  It's going to be difficult at first, already is.  Every time the phone rings we both say, "I'll bet that's Aaron".  It's going to take some time for us get it all together, but because of your dream and planning, we are in the right place.  Your desire to have us here in Troy and settled was a good one, although not an easy one for any of us.  But, in coming back here this summer we were able to get settled, create a home to come back to, make new friends and get acquainted with our community.  We have a home to come back to because of your dream.  Thank you for the gift you gave us.

Home

We're coming back home on Sunday.  Jamison is staying with his friend Sammy while were gone.  He was so excited when they came to pick him up he just ran outside and jumped into the car.  He wouldn't even give Katryn time to sit down and visit a minute.  It's really difficult to have him gone this evening though.  It's lonesome with him gone and you gone.  I get lonesome for you son.

Please know that you are never out of our thoughts.  I'll be writing you notes from time to time to tell you how things are going. I love you son. You were the joy in my life while God shared you with me. Now, may you always experience the joy of the Lord in heaven.  I'll be very interested to see the task God set before you in heaven.  My mom use to tell me I'd get to do some ironing in heaven because I hated doing it so much.  Hope you're getting to do something more exciting than that!

Dad and I are going to be okay.

Love, Mom

Joy Comes In The Morning!

As I sit here this morning, again in front of this blank page, I am wondering how best to express what Ray and I are feeling and experiencing right now.  So many of you have asked.  First let me say, please do not hesitate to call, write, email, text, whatever method you prefer.  For the most part, our tears have been shed and we're thankful Aaron is pain free.

Sunday, our daughter-n-law Kristin gave us an amazing gift.  As she was working through her own grief and pain, she had the forethought to call our family here in Troy, Corey and Jon, so that we'd have someone with us when we received the news of Aaron's passing.  What a great gift that was.  Thank you Kristin.

To Jon, Corey, Sierra, Hunter, Trey, Dylan, Josie, Jamison & Josh: You are amazing and we cannot picture our lives without you. You are the best blood pressure medicine ever created!

To all of our friends and family.  We love you dearly!


To our Brother Bill and sister-in-law Nancy: Thank you so much for your love and support.  Nothing works like an actual hug.

One of Aaron's hand-drawn cards to us.

I realized not soon after hearing of Aaron's transition,  and through my multitude of tears, that God had done something very special for me...at least I say it was for me!  God took Aaron home on Sunday morning.  Now that may not have any significance for you, but for me the significance is great.  Sunday has always been Aaron's favorite day of the week.  It was a time of reflection for him.  He loved the quiet time before church, he loved being with a church family and reflecting on the love and joy he was able to experience with the Lord at that special time.  He loved being with church family.  He loved singing praises and worshiping.  He loved family dinners after Sunday morning church and relaxing on Sundays.  He loved Sunday afternoon naps.  He just loved and enjoyed Sundays.  He always had. What a wondrous gift to be able to look forward to every Sunday morning and know that Aaron is rejoicing in heaven with the heavenly chorus, singing and praising the Lord with his family there.  Sunday's are going to continue to be very special days around here.  Sunday's will be a weekly reminder that our son is pain free and is doing what he loved best.  Thank you Lord for that special gift.

Yesterday Ray and I found ourselves dealing with tons of guilt.  We finally narrowed it down to the fact that we were feeling guilty because we felt like a heavy weight had been lifted.  We had to work through the guilt feelings.  We finally realized that we were not feeling relieved that "it was all over", but because we had been carrying an unrecognized heaviness.  A heaviness because as parents we could do absolutely nothing for our son.  It's a horrible thing to be a parent, or anyone, as you watch someone you love suffer and not have a solution. We felt terrible that we couldn't be there with him while he was in the hospital.  Then I realized that if he had awakened just enough to realize we were there he would have been horrified.  We would have "broken" the miracle he had worked so hard on for the last 3 1/2 years.  The guilt hasn't gone away and it will probably take some time, but we now see it for what it is.  We can't and won't be selfish with the gift Aaron left for us. He would expect us to Choose Joy over everything else, enjoy life and spread the message.

One of Aaron's paintings

Aaron's message of Choose Joy came from a message he heard his father preach while he was pastoring a church in Dallas OR.  Ray had prepared a series of messages on joy.  One Sunday Aaron brought a couple of friends and came up to visit.  His father was preaching on Choosing Joy and that it was an opportunity each of us had in every given circumstance.  

Happiness is something that is an affect you get when something good happens.  You're happy, you do your happy dance and you feel good. Choosing Joy is a decision you make no matter what happens.  Aaron has told his dad since, that although he had heard this all before, it really clicked for him that day.  He said I realized it was an action I had to take and a choice I could choose. You can make a choice to choose joy no matter what,  or you can wallow in your sadness or life. Sitting in chemo that first time, looking around at all the sad faces, Aaron saw a perfect opportunity to show those around him what Choosing Joy was all about, and he ran with it.  I don't think Ray and I will ever know the true impact he had.  But I will selfishly tell you this, we love hearing from everyone and hearing all of your stories.  We're parents first of course, we take great pride in our son and we love the stories and comments.  We loved him unconditionally and hope you will allow us these few "prideful" days as we read your comments about the son we loved so much.

Many of you have asked if there is anything you can do for us and we so very much appreciate all of you.  Friends and family are a wonderful gift.  They should be cherished and loved.  The best gift that could be given to us is to continue with what Aaron began.  Choose Joy! He wanted everyone to get the message.  He gave us a great start but there is still tons of work to do.  But you know what, it's a very simple task.  No really, it's very easy.  You don't even have to say anything if you don't want to.  Write the words on a piece of paper and put it up in your office or cubby.  Add it to your Facebook, your blog.  Add it to your message on your phone.  Use a smiley face and write the words Choose Joy and hang it from your rear view mirror in your car.  Make a conscious decision every single day to choose joy.  Did I say it was going to be easy?  I don't remember saying that.  Are most of the great things you experience in life easy?  Nice try, but no they're not.  Most of the things that eventually bring you joy are painful.  But, if you don't experience some pain, how do you know what joy is going to feel like?  Take a chance if you haven't already.  Take a chance on Choosing Joy.

Choosing joy can be a real gift to give to your family and friends.  Do you think this is easy for Ray and I right now?  Of course not! I spoke with this grandmother this morning.  She's 83.  Do you think it's easy for her right now?  She just lost her eldest and first grandson at age 38. Of course it's not. Do you think it's easy for Kristin and her parents?  Of course not!  But if you're able to follow their comments on Facebook you'll notice that although there is sorrow for a time at loosing Aaron there is a choice of Choosing Joy that he is pain free. We all have a peace knowing that Aaron is no longer in pain.  

It's one thing to hear about someones pain.  It's something altogether different to see it and experience it.  Aaron did his best to never let on when he was in pain.  He hated us asking if the pain medication was working.  He hated it if we wanted to talk about the cancer, treatment or pain. He would give us the information we needed and then he was through talking about it.  He wanted to hear about good things, happy things and joyful things.  He wanted to dwell on the joy, not the sorrow.

Ray and I believe in this joy. We would like nothing better than to share it with everyone of you. We believe the best way to do that is by example. Choosing joy is a choice that we get to make.  No one can take that from us or keep us from doing it.  It's a freedom we have.  Circumstances may call for disease, pain, sorrow, misfortune in your life.  But, you can choose the reaction to all of life's circumstances.  Like I said, "is it easy"?  Of course not! If it was easy, anyone could do it!  Be that special someone that passes the gift to Choose Joy to all those you meet.

If you don't understand "Choosing Joy".  If you need some one to talk to about this very special freedom you have to Choose Joy, please feel free to contact Ray and I at choosejoy.jamison@gmail.com or share a comment here on my blog.

 

 "Joy Comes In The Morning"  it certainly did for Aaron!

Crossroads

I found myself at a crossroad yesterday that I never imagined I would ever have to cross. Actually letting Aaron go.  I finally had to really admit to myself that there is not going to be a miracle, not one as I had pictured in my mind anyway. I had to ask God to take him home.  

It's one thing to say Aaron's in God's hands. It's another thing altogether to actually picture in my mind taking this small precious baby God gave me years ago and visualize myself  placing him in God's arms and walk away. I know he's a grown man and I am so very proud of the man of God he is.  But, he's my baby.  I carried him, I gave birth to him, I cared for him, I taught him, I protected him.  I did all the things a mother does.  I told him not long ago when he again reminded me that he is a grown man, "you'll always be my baby".  I appreciate the fact he's a grown man but he will always be that sweet tiny thing I held in my arms and cried over because he was a miracle baby.  The doctors didn't really give him much of a chance because he was in a dry birth canal for so long. They told us he had a damaged eye from the forceps that would never heal; five days later you couldn't even tell.  He's been a miracle since his conception when Ray and I were living in a tent in Bend OR.

Aaron's first Improv

God produces miracles in our lives every day.  Some we refuse to acknowledge and we call them by other names.  Some we don't see because we choose not to. Some we don't see because we don't believe. Some we don't see because we don't won't to believe God is still in the miracle-making business.  Some we don't see because we believe we can do it all by ourselves.


I'm trying very hard to not look at what's happening to Aaron as God taking away a miracle but rather that God is using this to create yet another miracle for someone else. I'm surviving this because I know God did not create Aaron for any other purpose than to glorify Him.  What God's purpose is in all of this I will never know.  As a mom I'm trying to accept this.  As a child of God I know that my heavenly father only has my best interest at heart.  Aaron continues to be a blessing to all those around him. Aaron has told me from since he was little, "Mom, if I had the choice of all the moms in the world, I would choose you". I told him the other day, "son, you and I belong together and God knew just what He was doing".

During these last three years in pain Aaron has spent many hours in prayer and making amends.  Less than a week ago he was telling me about making amends to someone who had taken offense about something in his recent blog.  I was amazed that he would take one of the very few lucid moments, racked with pain, unable to move without falling, unable to eat, to make sure that this person knew he was not talking about anyone in particular, it had just been a general comment.  


Aaron was his grandpa and grandma's first grandchild and first grandson.  He was his great-grandpa and great-grandma's first great-grandchild.  With the exception of my mom, they have all gone home to be with the Lord.  It might not be scriptural but I like to think that they're all waiting at heaven's gates for him.  Aaron has always said he'll be the jester in God's court.  What a time they will have.  I can just see him now, doing carpentry work and fishing with grandpa and great-grandpa and enjoying time by the river with great-grandma as they paint and do water colors and talk about things of heaven.  What a joyous time they will all have together singing in the King's Chorus and being a servant to the King. 

I already miss his "bear hugs", his laugh, his smile, the joy he brought to my every single day of his.  God knew a long time ago that I needed Aaron in my life.  I hope and pray that I learned what God intended for me to learn from my son.  God never puts anyone in your life for no reason.  God has a purpose in all that He does.  We may not acknowledge it or even believe it.  None-the-less, it's true.


I hope and pray that my life reflects the God that is within me. I'm like anyone else, I don't intentionally hurt anyone but I'm sure that I have.  If you've been someone that I've offended or hurt in some way please accept my apology and forgive me.  My son, through his life and his dying has set a standard and an example that I hope, in the time I have left on earth, I can follow.  He is leaving some pretty large footprints to follow.  He is setting a true course.  He's leaving a rainbow of courage, hope, love and JOY that will attest to his walk with the Lord through eternity.  


Please know that although I write this in the singular because it is my blog, it also reflects the thoughts and heart of his father.  We have thousands of memories of our son in our lives and have spend many hours during Aaron's  life reflecting on those memories.  His dad spent hours on his knees at Aaron's birth coveting with God that if God spared his life at birth he would raise him to be a man of God and that he would give him back to God. Two of Ray's goals in life were to be a godly husband and a godly father.  He has succeeded at both.

Aaron Matthew Jamison

Thank you our son for the time you shared with us.  May God continue to be with you, hold your hand and walk beside you as you take the amazing journey He has laid before you now.  No parents could love a son as much as we love you.  Son, go with God in peace!


 

Backward Leggie

So, how many people do you know that could say they had been to the veterinarian with a chicken?  Well, you can say it now! 

If you've been following along on my blog about the exploits in "chicken land" here in Troy, here's yet another to add to your "flock" of exploits

Since my last blog update one of our chickens has taken on a life of her own. Well, actually, she's had quite a bit of help, but that's for later in the story.   I figure this chicken is  a her because it's not a rooster.  Are there male chickens, who are not roosters?  Is it important?  Probably to a chicken farmer?  Are they chicken farmer's?  Anyhoo, one of our chickens has developed a "backward" leg.  She has one leg that goes forward and one that is turned backward.  Really!  I know it sounds weird and unbelievable, but just consider the land I live in!  Anything is possible here in "Troyland" and, happens here.  What? You need more proof?  We shouldn't be laughing about this.  This poor chicken doesn't know whether she's coming or going!  Of course, this could be said for most of us here in "Troyland", that's why the chicken fits in so well.

So I've told you about the skunk living under the chicken coop right?  Well number one, it's still there living peacefully among the chickens.  Or, I should say, under the chickens.  All is well and good for now since the chickens aren't laying eggs.  But I think that sneaky little black and white devil is just waiting for that first egg to pop outta one of those hens. I don't know what he'll do first, spray with delight, or drool his way into the chicken coop.  Now Corey's theory is, just leave him there.  He'll keep all of the foxes and other varmints out of the chicken yard.  Does sound good in theory now doesn't it?  Not! Number one, have you every been sprayed by a skunk?  Well believe it from one who has, it's NOT something you want to experience or be around someone who has experienced it! 

Here kitty, kitty!

Okay, okay, I'll tell you.  Stop hounding!  So when I was about 7-8 years old I had a friend who lived up the hill from us and across from my Grandpa and Grandma.  Most of the kids I grew up with in the neighborhood were boys so we did the usual boy things: collected polliwogs from dirty ponds, played with frogs, chased rats with baseball bats, got the hook end of coat hangers caught in our eyelids, you know, all the usual boy things.  So anyway, Bobbie and I were checking my grandparents mailbox so we could take the mail to grandma when this beautiful little black and white "kitten" came sauntering across the road.  It was the most beautiful little thing with this long fluffy tail.  I reached down and picked it up. Yes, I did.  It was so cute!  I rubbed it's back and talked to it and then Bobbie wanted to hold it. I stretched out my arms to hand the "kitty"t to Bobbie and he reached out his arms to take the "kitty" and that adorable little kitty sprayed the most awful smell you have ever smelled all over us.  Our eyes burned, we smelled absolutely awful.  I don't even remember what happened to the "kitty" but when I hit the backdoor at home I thought my mom's eyes were going to explode out of her head.  I think I could hear Barbara, Bobbie's mom's blood-curdling scream clear down at the bottom of the hill.  It's an amazing wonder that my mom didn't gas us both that day.  She must have scrubbed me with every cleaning agent on the market, and then some:  Hexol, ammonia, Clorox, Ajax, witch hazel, you name it and she scrubbed with it.  I believe they burned my clothes.  I could still smell that scent in my hair when I swam in high school!

Corey/Backward Leggie watching movie

So, to get back to the chicken.  The kids, Sierra and Jamison (Jamo) went out night before last to "put the chickens away".  Meaning, make sure they're in the coop and shut the door.  They both came back in yelling for Corey and said there was something out there.  Corey ran out and found the skunk has sprayed, the chickens were in the coop (probably trying to get away from that awful smell) and Miss Backward Leg Hen was all in a corner by herself.  Does Corey pick her up and put her in the coop? Are ya kiddin' me?  This is Corey! She goes into the house, comes out with a towel, picks up the chicken and carries the chicken into the house.  The chicken spent the next two hours wrapped in a towel, sitting in Corey's lap, watching a movie.


Yesterday I get a text message from Corey, "Aunt Jan, will you go with me to the vet Thursday morning at 9:45 am?  I need to take Backward Leggie in for a checkup". Okay, so now I'm headed to the vet with a chicken.  Now I was raised in the country with animals: cows, dogs, burros, chickens the whole lot.  Never had I ever been to the vet with a chicken.  I mean, is this normal.? Now before you answer, remember, I'm in "Troyland". So what's normal in your world is probably totally different here.

Today we head out for the vet's office.  (But first things first, we stop at Starbucks of course.)  Corey picks me up.  When I open the car door there she sits with Backward Leggie wrapped in a towel in her lap.  She's already tamed this darn chicken.  This chicken is laying there in her lap as if she belongs there.  That chicken didn't make one single sound the entire trip to Starbucks.  But, you should have seen the look on the young man's face when he opened that drive-through window to give us our coffee.  His exclamation, "holy crap, this lady has a chicken in her lap".  We laughed until we almost collapsed.  So, we take our coffee and low-fat cinnamon coffee cake and continue on to the vets.  

It was the most interesting feeling walking into the vets office.  Here's this huge reception area, dogs and cats everywhere and not a single one made a move toward the chicken.  Backward Leggie lay there in Corey's arms like it was the most natural thing in the world.  Needless to say, they immediately took us back to an exam room. No sense in one of the dogs suddenly realizing they had a chicken in their midst!

We're sitting in the exam room and the doctor walks in.  He walks up to the chicken and starts in with baby talk at the chicken.  Now if that chicken had talked back I'd have a completely different story to tell wouldn't I?  The doctor examined Backward Leggie's leg and foot and could tell there was a problem with a tendon.  Since the doctor doesn't have that many chicken patients he decided to begin a new data base by taking five x-rays of Backward Leggie's leg and foot.  This would allow him to do his research and talk with other vets without Corey having to return with Backward Leggie. Which, she would have done.  She is one determined chicken mama. 


I thought the conversation between the doctor and Corey was very unusual.  Now remember, we're in "Troyland", this doctor has know Corey and her kids for a long time and has treated more of their animals than you can imagine.  He just kept Josh's hamster for 10 days after the hamster got out of the cage and Biscuit just about had him for dinner!  The hamster wasn't hurt, just tramatized.  I told you, we're in "Troyland".  Better Biscuit who just wanted to play with him than the vacuum cleaner, right!  Okay, back to the conversation.

Doctor: "How long have you had Backward Leggie?"

Corey: "Since June."
Doctor: "When did you first notice the problem with the leg?"
Corey: "Oh, I'm not sure, a month or so ago."
Doctor: "You mean to tell me you've had this poor chicken with this leg and it took you over two months to notice?"
Corey: "But, but, there were 31 chickens that were just a couple days old when we got them.  They were everywhere!" (Actually, they were in the upstairs bathroom but she was smart enough not to tell him that!)

The doctor completed his exam, we wrapped Backward Leggie up in her towel and headed back to the reception area to calculate the damages.  We're not going there!  Suffice it to say, we could have probably ordered another 90 baby chicks!  Corey is holding the chicken, wrapped in it's blue towel. Oh, and interestingly enough, we made that entire trip and that chicken didn't poop once!  Isn't that kinda odd?  I mean don't chickens spend most of their time walking and pooping? Anyway, I'm about ready to loose it because it's just beginning to dawn on me that I'm actually at the vet at 10am in the morning with a chicken whose leg is backward.  We're standing there and they're calculating the bill and Corey is trying to hold the chicken, rifle through her purse for her wallet, look for her credit card (which she couldn't locate) so then she's counting cash, reverts to looking for her card and in the midst of everything she hands the chicken over to me.  It's like, are ya kiddin'n me? I signed on, but chicken sitting?  Anyway, she continues to rifle and I'm standing here in the waiting room holding this chicken.   The next thing I know Corey says, "Aunt Jan, do you realize you're rocking Backward Leggie?"  Now do ya really think I'd be doing it if I realized I was doing it?

So now, we're waiting a day or two to hear the prognosis for poor Backward Leggie.  She's safe and sound right now, well she was awhile ago.  Corey's phone is in "the shop" for about three hours.  Heck, by now they may have a dozen rabbits and two goats!


So, how was your day?

I Love Life!

The Jamison Fall Mantel 2011

Fall is in the air and as you know, I LOVE it!  The leaves are beginning to turn and the crispness is in the air.  I've added the scent of baking our own bread to it and so it's perfect.  The weather is cooling down rapidly.  As I've said before, if I'm closing up windows, there's a chill in the air. I don't know if the change in the weather has anything to do with it or not, but I'm finding this last couple of weeks it would be a really good thing most days to just curl up with a warm blanket on the couch and write.  It certainly takes me all morning, most mornings, to get up and get around. Maybe that's a good thing.

Saturday morning I went with Corey, Jon and Josie to Troy Saturday Market.  
 Troy Farmer's Market
Oh my! The scents of all the cultural food booths, the fresh baked breads, the jars of beautiful red and green peppers, the multitude in choices of fresh mushrooms, amazingly beautiful mums, gourds of every shape and color.  You'd love it! This Saturday we're "dragging" Ray along.  

As we were leaving the market Josie looked up at her mom and said, "Mom, don't you want me to go home with Aunt Jan?".  Boy did we ever have a play day. Eight hours of uninterrupted play time.  The only slight, almost mishap during the entire time was when Aunt Jan said it was time to read and rest and Josie turned that little face around to Uncle and let a couple of tears drop and he told her she didn't have to if she didn't want to.  It took me about two seconds to give in.  I just figured Corey and Jon could deal with it later. Josie, Ray, Jamison and I watched "Game Plan" starring "The Rock" for the fourth time and then later, for the fifth time; we did the princess puzzle for at least another 15 times, we ate Mike and Ike's, we did Hello Kitty sticker book, we played Hello Kitty slider puzzle on my phone, we played "hair dresser", we did "tattoos" with a dice, we talked about school that started on Thursday. Josie is in a class of 10 three year olds, and, all girls. Can you imagine how much trouble I could get into with 10 three year olds?  What a hoot that will be!

Yesterday, Corey, Josie, Sabra and Shivani and I visited a bakery in Troy that should be outlawed! Bella Napoli

Corey & Josie along the Hudson.

I am NOT kidding you!  This is 40-50 feet of glass cases containing some of the most amazing, delicious, beautiful pastries you have ever seen or experienced.  We took our delicacies to the bank along the Hudson River, (Josie really is in the picture to the left) the sun was warm and wonderful, we were in great company and couldn't wait to wrap our mouths around these amazing creations. As Corey opened her bag and began the foray to the bottom of the bag, Shivani and I waited very, very

Sabra & Shivani

patiently while Sabra attempted to untie a single knot in the string that was wrapped around the bakery box.My goodness, it's a wonder we're not still sitting there uniting that single knot of string! Sabra, I guess we're going to have to keep going to Bella Napoli for those special treats so you can practice your knot work. Maybe we should leave the treats OUT of the box so we can snack while you practice.

Corey tried a new item (she's been keeping this bakery a secret because she named dozens of items she'd already tried).  Let me see if I can describe this so you can "smell and taste" it.  Evil, aren't I?  

Just to make you drool!

This is a piece of chocolate cake, and not just any chocolate cake. (The picture in no way resembles the real deal.) This  2"x 5" x 1.5" piece of heaven has been encased delicately and entirely in a thick layer of smooth, creamy, chocolaty ganache. It is so rich it takes your breath away.  As it melts in your mouth and as your lips and teeth bruise the ganache and you are just catching your breath your tongue encounters an amazing pillow of cloud floating between the cake and ganache; three little clouds of a mixture of cream and marshmallow. Oh my, the delights to come.  Corey DID share and we all enjoyed  that wee moment of forbidden delight!

Chicken Update!  Two of the remaining chickens are NOT chickens.  They've developed this little ridge across the top of their heads.  Guess they won't be staying long!  The coop is safe and warm, they get plenty of fresh food (they'll eat anything!) They live in a "gated community". They've been chased by the best, a fox.  They're know by all their neighbors. They have a watch dog.  They now have a new friend that lives under the chicken coop....a skunk!  One of these days I'll have to tell you MY skunk story.

Well, nothing...and I do mean nothing, got accomplished in this household today with the exception of me sitting here writing and working on photographs.  Now I didn't say there wasn't anything here to do, I just said I didn't do it.  So you know what that means.  Tomorrow I do two days worth.  Not really!  The nice thing about being retired for me is, in part, well, in most part...I can do what I want, when I want.  Some days, as I've said before, it's just good to sit and write.  I plan to do much more this winter when the days aren't as nice as they are today.  Today thought, I need to write.


In closing for the day, please continue to remember our son, Aaron, in your thoughts and prayers.  He is in a different stage of the disease.  He is having a CT Scan today and in the next week or so it is going to be necessary to have fluid drawn from his liver. Right now, it's painful.  Please pray that God will give Ray and I the grace and courage to trust Him with our son.  You'd think after 38 years I would have learned that lesson.  

Graciousness

My Mom

In the past, when someone has asked me about my mom and what she's like the one word that has always come to mind is, "gracious".  My mother is the most gracious person I have ever met or know.  She just exudes this gift in everything she says and does; in her speech, in her mannerisms, in the way she treats people.  I doubt my mom ever even thinks about it.  It's just who she is.  I know we all often joke about not wanting to be like our mothers, but I have to tell you, if I were as gracious as my mom I would feel like "I'd have made it". 

Growing up we had tons of company in our home.  Some, that today, many people would never even consider having in their homes.  I can remember my dad bringing men home from the mission to stay with us. Neither my dad, nor my mom knew these men, but they believed that all they had belonged to the Lord and these men had just as much a right to share in what they had as we did.  My mother was as gracious to these men as she would have been if Lord Himself walked through her door.  To her, there was no difference and is no difference today. I love that about my mother and I love the lessons I have learned through my life by just watching her example.  Still today she remains true to what she believes.  She pushes it on no one else and requires no one to emulate her.  She just sets an example by the way she lives her life.

My Son Aaron

As I've been sitting here on this Saturday morning and thinking about my mom, it dawned on me that I have another great example of graciousness in my life.  My son.  I can't even begin to imagine what grace it would take to to know that you are dying and yet put all the strength and effort into helping to build a future for your parents and know that you most likely ever see or be a part of that life. As he struggles with his death the grace he shows us each and every day as we share the events of our day is unbelievable. When we're skyping or talking with him on the phone the joy that he shares with us in our lives can only be there by grace.  He told us for years that he didn't want to have children. Then he met Kristin and that all changed. And yet, God had other plans.  There simply is no way for me to "put myself in his place". But if it were me, how would I feel? Oh I can come up with all kinds of answers, but you know what, none of them would be true because I'm not in the same position.  If I think about it humanly I don't think I would want to hear about all the fun things my parents are doing or the kids they are enjoying.  I would be jealous and I would be asking God why.  Instead, when I talk with him about these things there is a sweetness in his voice and a rich graciousness as he tells me over and over again, because I ask him over and over again, "no mom, it brings sweet joy to my heart that you are where you are and that God has given you this special gift".  He graciously listens as I explain in full detail the escapades and adventures of the day.  I ask myself, could I do that?   

What type of person does it take to have this special graciousness?  Does it come about because of a special circumstance or event in your life?  Are you born with it? Do you learn it? Are you special? Are you different from everyone else? Aaron has always, always, had a very gentle heart and spirit.  He was born with it. When he unintentionally hurts someone it gives him great pain.  Aaron has never intentionally hurt anyone. Please note that I said "intentionally".  All of us have hurt others unintentionally.  All of us.  He has never struck out in anger. He is not perfect.  You know I am not saying that.   What he is, is human.  A very gracious human, who loves life, loves his wife, puppy, friends, family and his God whom he trusts above all else.  He has spent many, many hours in the last 3+ years trying to make amends to those who believe they have been offended, slighted or hurt by something he has said or done.  People still, on occasion, let him know that "one time way back when you....". And though his memory is no longer what it once was he struggles to remember so he can make amends.  He's tired now.  We can see it and hear it in his voice. But, he's still Aaron, still our son and still Choosing Joy.  

If you don't get anything else out of this blog please know that as I reflect over the past 38 years with Aaron, and especially these last 3+ this mother has learned many lessons from her son.  The gift of graciousness is one we should all desire.  I believe, in some part, I've inherited the best from my mother and, that in some part, I've passed that gift on to my son.