The "light bulb" at 2 am

Good morning son! Surprise! No, it's not Sunday morning, Relax. Sometimes a predefined, predetermined schedule just doesn't work. I have some things I want to share with you and I don't want to wait until Sunday morning. Sunday mornings are about our casual conversations about the week and life and our love of being together. This, dear son, is a letter of apology to you...and others.

As I said a couple of days ago when we talked, it's been almost a year since you've gone to be with the Lord. And, it's not gotten any easier. But, in the last several days things have become much clearer. It still amazes me as to what the Lord has to do sometimes to get my attention. I've been laying here for the last several days, sicker than I have been in a long time, running 99.8 degree temp. But no matter how sick you get, one always seems to be able to think.

Before I go any further, if you're reading this, the things I am going to share here are in no way meant to be hurtful to anyone, but I do need to share them. I need to be honest, and after all, this is my blog and you have been invited to share in an open conversation between my son and me. So if you think for even a minute that there's going to be something in here that might offend you or you could use to add guilt to your own life, PLEASE DON'T READ ANY FURTHER. This letter is NOT about you. This letter is about me.

Okay son, back to our conversation. Well, I must admit, it's going to be a pretty one-sided conversation today, because you really only get to have a voice in this conversation when I give you one! lol  Oh, and I'm going to warn you ahead of time, I'm going to be crying a lot during this conversation so get out your heavenly hanky, I'm going to need it.

If there is any one person in this entire world who should know that "geography changes nothing", it should be me. But what I have also learned, is a huge decision, like changing geography, can damage from many directions and it affects many others lives. I didn't realize until 2 am this morning that I caused a loss for both dad and I by moving to Troy when we did, that is going to make the healing process of loosing you almost unattainable. What I've come to realize is that by moving so quickly we left everything about you behind. All our memories, all the places you loved, all the friends you had, everything about you, we left behind. When I mention you to people I know here, they have no connection with you. They didn't know you. They didn't know the things you loved. They didn't know the people you cared about or the things you loved to do, like have breakfast together at Terese's, or tea together at the kitchen table, or watching an old horror movie, or doing fireworks, or dressing up for Halloween, or any of that. All the people, places and things that we needed to help ease the pain of your death, we left behind. All the people who knew you and cared about you, we left behind. So many things were wrong with this decision. I owe so many people an apology, beginning with the Lord. It's taken me a long time to get to the point. I owe your dad an apology. I owe my mom and extended family an apology. I owe Jon, Corey and the kids an apology. I owe you an apology. I owe myself an apology. In trying to make sure you had no more pain than you already had I made decisions that I now have to live with for the rest of my life, and unfortunately, so does everyone else. I'm going to tell you straight out. I should have been there when you were in the hospital and made the transition to heaven. I'm your mother, I was there when you came into the world and I should have been there when you left it. I wasn't because you asked me not to be and you insisted I not be. That doesn't make it right. I should have insisted more no matter how you fought, no matter how you cried, no matter how you pleaded. I mean really, I was trying to save you more pain. Really? You were dieing of cancer, how much more pain could I have inflicted by insisting? Now, I have to live with that decision and it's not pretty.

I know that you have been very sorrowful this last year to know that the Lord has taken a back seat in our lives. It's not been intentional. It's not that I set out every day saying let's just see how far I can step away, it's just kind of happened. I've just kind of let the Lord be there. I've talked with Him, He has comforted me, I couldn't have made it this far without Him, but I've not really invited Him to be active in my life. I'm sorry for that. We're in a world back here that is foreign to us and we need Him more than ever. I'm trying to stay quiet in this area and not rock the boat but I know that's not right. I don't want to intentionally rock the boat but I don't want to do away with everything I believe in either. No one is asking that I stay quiet, I just seem to be doing it. Some of my views have expanded and broadened; I do believe and support gay rights. I am continuing to broaden my interests of learning more about what others believe and why, but I don't need to negate everything I believe to do that and I feel like that's what I've been doing. I'll work on that.

I need to apologize to my mom and extended family. It's true, when I made the announcement that we were moving East I didn't ask for input. I made a statement. Right or wrong, that's the way it went. It's also true that they all know me well enough to know if they had tried to make suggestions at that point it wouldn't have done them any good. I apologize to all of you that you don't feel comfortable sharing your feelings with me. I wished someone, anyone, had pushed that envelope though. Right now your Uncle Ron and Auntie Di and grandma could really use the help. I'm not saying that I'm it, I'm just saying that I eliminated that possibility by the choice that I made. I thought I was thinking everything through but I guess one mind doesn't work as well as many. I wish people could read minds, maybe I could have read some of friends and family and I would have really seen they're concerns and would have paused and thought; maybe not. I'm responsible, no one else. Dad, feeling guilty for all the moves and transitions throughout our lifetime together, left the decision to me. My fault, I should have insisted he be truthful and honest. Not his responsibility, mine.

To Jon, Corey, Sierra, Jamo, Hunter, Josh, Trey, Dylan and Josie. I apologize to all of you.  I allowed the wishes of Aaron to create an extra burden for all of you. Yes, we love each other and we have a great time together. But we could have done all of that without adding the extra burden and responsibility to your shoulders. "Hush now Corey, and let me say what I want to say." I can still hear you!  I love you and I understand and I don't doubt for a minute that you love us and care about us. That has never been in question. But our lives are so different. I can't keep up:) Believe me, I've tried. If it weren't for you and Jon and the kids and your love, I don't know where Uncle and I would be right now. Thank you for everything all of you have done and continue to do. Uncle and I (and he says I can speak for him here) will strive to continue to build a good life here and be all that we can be. It's a lot slower going than we anticipated but it's all about the journey.

I owe an apology to all my friends in Springfield OR. All the things we planned on doing together when we all retired, I ran out on. I'm the one who's missing out. I didn't realize how much I would miss all of that and all of you. There isn't a day goes by that I don't think and wonder about each and every one of you. I don't know how many times a week Ray and I wish we could go have a cup of coffee or lunch at Terese's. Or Sandy, how I wish we could go have lunch and not have to worry about getting back to work on time. Ginger, Jamison misses you and we miss seeing the joy in your eyes when he came to your house for a play date with Holly and Boomer. Paula & Mary, we miss all of you. You were a stabilizing force during Aaron's illness. We always knew that no matter what the time, night or day, we could call you and you were there for Jamison and us. We knew he was safe and well taken care of no matter how long we needed. We can never tell you or express to you how much that meant to us. Thank you. Barb McGee, I feel like I've totally lost a 20 year friendship. How on earth did I let that all happen? What was I thinking? All I knew at the time was that I just wanted the pain to stop and I didn't see any other way except to run away as far as I could. So I did. I'm sorry for that.

My energy level this last year has not been what I thought it would be. Fortunately I have a part time position at Corey's firm here in Troy.I can't begin to say what that has meant to me. My interests have totally changed. All the baking and cooking I thought I was going to do when I retired. Yeah, remember all that! I no longer have any interest in the kitchen....at all! Can you believe that. Crafting, no interest. Don't choke on your adam's applie! I truly have no interest. I've been struggling with a decision for a long time and it finally all became very clear this morning at 2 am. I've been trying to figure out how to make everyone happy...I can't. So, after much prayer and lengthy discussions with your dad, I feel comfortable with the plan that I'm sharing with you here.

1. I'm dissolving Auntie Jan Creations. I'm dispersing all the assets (such as they are), donating all remaining stock, I've already closed my Etsy store, I'll file the final NY sales tax 31 August 2012 and will close the bank account when all items have cleared.

2. Dad and I will be making plans for a "trip" every month. Our intention on coming East was to see where our country was born, making memories together, spend time together, travel together; not sitting in a studio making memories for others. The idea of taking our wares to different venues was our plan. In the last year neither of us want to physically do all that. We want to go to the fair, enjoy the experience and come home. I loved that while I did it, but I'm ready to move on. If we need a gift or a card for someone we care about, I'll find it on the journey.

3. Next Spring, look for a smaller, efficiency apartment. The truth is, although people may want to come for a visit, it's very costly and dad and I understand that. But, we don't need to pay for or spend our time cleaning and caring for space that we don't need.  We could be using those additional resources to enjoy being out in the world. We've reignited our dream to see Washington DC.  We're so close we need to make it happen. 

To everyone who has supported us over the years with your prayers, comforts and love we are so very grateful. We love you all so very much and ask that you continue to support us through your love and prayers. We will strive to continue to study and be all that God wants us to be. And that we will consider Him in all our plans and we make a life, truly reflective of Him, here in Troy, our place in our journey.

until Sunday son, be Aaron, thanks for listening, love mom



























 

Time is NOT healing

Wish you were here for a cup.

Good morning son! How are you this fine morning? It's been quite a week here in Troy. It's been a week of endings and new beginnings. Earlier this week Josh lost a very close friend; his hamster Snowball. This great little friend had lived in Josh's room for the past five years. Josh had built him a "mansion" that ran almost the entire length of his room. He was the tiniest little white (as you might imagine with the name Snowball). Throughout his life he had lost mobility in two of his tiny legs and was blind. Josh loved his hamster and was heartbroken as he sat with Corey as Snowball transitioned from this life to the next. Who knows, maybe you have him there with you. If so, he can see again and has use of all four of his limbs. Dad and I got to know Snowball when we took care of the animals when the family was away. During Snowball's lifespan he would occasionally get out and be scurrying around downstairs. Unfortunately, downstairs is Biscuit country. On one of these scurrying adventures Corey found him in the library just as Biscuit had "scooped him up"! He was so tiny it wouldn't have made much of a meal, but a pretty good snack. In the words of Jamo to Josh, "Snowball was a frigging awesome hamster!".

The vet & Backward Leggie

On another very sad note, Backward Leggie has also passed. For a chicken, she was quite an addition to the family, earning her notoriety as the only chicken of the vast chicken family to actually be taken to the vet. There will never be another chicken that can take the place of Backward Leggie. RIP Backward Leggie. Hmm, maybe you have a hamster AND a chicken with you this morning?

My mind and thinking are somewhat cloudy this morning. I've not been feeling well this last three or four days; just "off", not able to eat, drinking 7-Up and trying to "keep my head down". I came home yesterday afternoon from Jamo's Bar Mitzvah party and slept three hours, went to bed at 9:30 and slept until 8:00 am this morning. Can't quite figure it out but not really trying to. Stomach is still not settled but dad just managed to get a little oatmeal down me. Nuff of that!

Niel Armstrong died yesterday. I can still remember how excited my grandpa, your great-grandpa, was the day they landed on the moon. Your great-grandpa got to experience the best of the world, or so he thought, and I have to agree. Born in 1899 he experienced being a "frontiersman", lived during man learning to fly and saw us land on the moon. How much greater could it get?

I bought plane tickets Friday for the CA trip in November/December. Had to shift a few dates around because of cost but it will still be a good visit from Nov. 28th to December 18th. I can barely believe that we've been back East for 15 months, which also means, I haven't seen grandma for that long. I don't think we've ever gone that long between visits. Rita is planning to come down while I'm there so we'll all have a great time.

Jamo's Bar Mitzvah

As we've experienced so much loss this week, Snowball, Backward Leggie,  a legend in Niel Armstrong, we also experienced a new beginning. Yesterday was Jamo's Bar Mitzvah; a beginning for him. He studied long and hard for two years, that's not including going to Hebrew school most of his life. It was a beautiful transition for Jamo, and for all of us. Jamo is such a cut up, that's one of the things that makes him so love able. He has a keen mind. He is going to do something great. I found the service to be very peaceful. As they read from the Torah scroll it reminded me of all the sacrifices that have been made through the ages to maintain the history of what we believe. The sacrifice of those who spent their lives scribing those words over and over again so the message would not be lost.The dedication it took. The bravery it took because most of the time they had to do it secretly. I have seen many pictures throughout my life of the scrolls, but to actually see them opened in from of me and read from, it was an amazing honor. I enjoyed the singing and the prayers. It had such a calming effect as I  sat there and listened to the Rabbi and Jamo read. The few words that I was able to understand had such a special reverence to them. With the exception of the single microphone at the podium, the temple is devoid of electronic devices. I found that very comforting. To watch Jamo and the Rabbi have a relaxed conversation together as she guided him through the various steps, knowing that although the Bar Mitzvah is intended as a new beginning and a culmination of the learning process for the Bar Mitzvah, the learning process will continue, as it should. I found comfort in hearing those around me singing and saying prayers together. There was a trueness in their  expression of their faith; a reverence. It made me realize that I miss the quiet, reverent times with God. So much of our lives today are built around noise. We think if we don't have the radio on, the television or or someone around us for conversation that there's something wrong. As I sit here this morning looking out the living room window I can hear the wind blowing in the trees, the birds chirping, it's so peaceful. The last 15 months have been months of not only changes, but as your cousin Eric Dale reminded me yesterday, "it's been 15 months of 'firsts'". I guess I had never really looked at it that way. It's one thing to have change in your life that you've experienced before, life moving.  But to have not only change but have those changes be something totally different that we've ever experienced before, now that is something quite different. Dad and I made the last real "radical" change a couple of weeks ago before we drove to Maine for our visit with your Uncle Bill and Aunt Nancy. We now have New York licenses and our car has New York plates. It felt like the final culmination to a very long transition. I know people who read my blog think they've heard all this before, and they have. But the truth is, this transition of living without you is a very long process and I'm just coming to realize that's it's a transition that I will never come to the end of. It will have different components and effects over the years but it will always be there because you are part of me. 

I want calm and peace in my life. I've thought so often of dad, me and Jamison being in a one room cabin somewhere in the woods, just reading and writing and enjoying nature and each other. I think when you have a large house you feel the need to fill it up. I think you come to a time in your life when you have to ask yourself, is this what I really want my life to be all about? In 38 days you will have been gone from this earth for one year. It isn't getting any easier.

Until next week, be Aaron, love mom




















 

We're here in moose country

Good morning son! How are you? It's a beautiful Sunday morning here in Maine. We've been visiting with Uncle Bill and Aunt Nancy since last Wednesday evening. It's been absolutely awesome. The weather has cooperated beautifully. The lake is absolutely gorgeous. Even the rain has provided the opportunity to put up our feet on the sun porch and read and nap. Well, actually, finding a place or excuse to nap since we have been here has been no problem at all. 

You've finally gotten your wish. At lease one of them anyway. Your mother is using a Mac this morning! Both Uncle Bill and Aunt Nancy use Mac's. I didn't bring my laptop with me so I borrowed Uncle Bill's computer this morning for our conversation. The biggest problem was trying to remember my password. I had just changed it before we left to come up here. I finally ended up just changing it again. It was easier than wasting half the morning trying to remember what I had changed it to.

This has been such a relaxing time for both dad and me.We've all had a wonderful time together. The house is much cooler than outside so we've usually had a fire going. It's been really quite nice. It takes the chill out of the air and just gives comfort to the atmosphere.

We all went to Stone Mountain the other night and enjoyed a scrumptious dinner and very lively music by:

Shemekia Copeland Supporting a new album, this blues powerhouse will be back to shimmy, shimmy SMAC this summer! Shemekia Copeland was only 19 when she released her first album, "Turn the Heat Up," in 1998, but her killer voice and sassy attitude had people calling her the new Queen of the Blues from the beginning. Now she 's a major force to be reckoned with! A quick sell out for this gal and her awesome band!!

 

Her band is totally awesome. When that band cut off it was as though a knife was slicing through butter. Dad and I had never seen anything like it and we've seen a lot of bands in our day. 

 

The lake is beautiful and warm here. Nancy distance swims every day. I did intent to bring my suit but forgot it. No, I really did forget it! It was really crazy the last couple of days getting ready and I intended to get it and just totally forgot. I was packing the morning right before we left and just didn't think of it. I know, I'm usually packed a day ahead but it just didn't work out that way this time. 

 

We had a wonderful trip up here. There was so much to see and it was such a relaxing trip. Jamison stayed at home and Tanya and Bogie came over to stay with him while we're here. We sure do miss him. Dad really misses their daily walks but we know he's having a good time with Tanya and Bogie.

 

Let's see, what else have we done while here. Yesterday we went to a Artisan Fair in Center Lovell and saw some beautiful craftsmanship of all types: pottery, quilts, fused glass, wood, screen printing, rock crafts...you name it and they had it. We went early and it was a good thing because by the time we left at a little before 11:00 am people were parking as far up the road as we could see. We came back to the house and dad and I read and napped; Bill and Nancy ran some errands and went back to the fair to help some friends break down their jewelry display and get it home. Your Uncle Bill dropped by the fire station and picked up some bar-b-que chicken and about 5:15 pm some of their local friends dropped by and we had chicken dinner and visited. It was a great day and evening. After everyone left, about 8:00 pm, we cleaned things up and Dad and I hit the beds and read (we've been doing a lot of reading while we've been here) and Bill and Nancy settled in to watch another episode of The Abby. Dad and I decided we'd like to watch the series so we didn't want to get started in the middle.

We continue to look for moose but haven't seen anything yet. It's a very slim chance but would be great to see one up close and personal. Well, maybe not THAT close!

I bet everyone is wondering where we've been this week. I haven't checked email or Face book since we've been here. I thought about having our conversation later in the week but I just didn't want to put it off. I've met quite a few bloggers since we've been here and it will be great to check out their blogs when I get home and keep up with what's happening in their lives and get a different perspective on blogging.

There was a very interesting discussing at the table last night around churches and religion and some politics. I love it when I have the opportunity to hear other people's perspectives on religion, God and politics. I'm not as near well read as most but I do know what I believe and I enjoy hearing what other's believe and how they have come to the conclusions around their choices. It also peaked my interest in politics enough that I really want to get better informed about this election and the proposals and promises from both sides. Having worked in a local government for years I kept well informed but now that I have been retired and so strongly focused on other areas these last few years I'm realizing that I'm quite out of the loop and for the first time in a long time have the desire to get somewhat more involved in knowing more. I'm really behind in this ball game right now so I need to get caught up. Your Uncle Bill picks up all the local papers every day and it's been interesting to read the newspaper again. We usually just pick up the Sunday paper and catch up. Dad checks out the news on the computer, but there's just something about sitting down and reading the paper and discussing it that brings another whole element to the day. Guess we'd better order the paper when we get home.

Being here had encouraged me to begin reading again. I bought three books at the Library Book Sale yesterday. I've started reading Smoke Jumper that is written by the same author of Horse Whisperer, Nicholas Evans. I haven't had the interest in reading in quite some time. Mostly, because I've not been able to concentrate and I catch myself reading the same paragraph over and over again. However, for some reason, being here lends itself to reading. Although I must admit, it also lends itself to napping!

I realized too last night that dad and I have somewhat isolated our

selves from the "outside" world. I don't see myself as an introvert but I have somewhat become one. We both have become homebodies and don't force ourselves at all into the outside world. We need to! If you were here you would be all over us. I don't want to become one of those people who have have tons of friends on Face book and live vicariously through just those relationships. I want to be out living life. We need to do more of that. 

 

Let's see, what else have a learned about myself this week? I want to spend more time in my studio doing my work. As I was reading a couple of magazines this week I came across a new process I believe I can easily incorporate into my signs. I'm very anxious to get home and try it out. I also came across a new style of handwriting. It actually looks as though it's been done with a quill pen but I think I can get the same effect with a fountain pen or possibly even a "Sharpie"! Now wouldn't that be something! I new that would wake you up and get your attention! 

It's been really good this week to have time to think and reflect. Believe it or not, as much as we like being homebodies, out lives are very full and busy. It's been great to have some time to read. I had forgotten how nice it is just to sit in the sun on the sun porch and read. I hope our landlord get's our porch rebuilt before the summer and autumn are gone so I can do some more of that before the seasons are gone. I'd love to be able to sit on the porch and have my Sunday conversations with you there.

 

Again, I'm on a Mac today....so, no pictures! It's all the Mac's fault!

You know that I miss you...always, but as I sit here in the sunshine and the bright Sunday morning, my heart longs for your laughter.

Until next week, be Aaron, love mom

 

There's blue in life sure, but life doesn't have to be blue

Good morning son! How are you this morning?  Perfect, I know, stop rubbing it in! We're far from perfect down here, or middle here, or where ever the ball know as earth happens to be rolling around in the midst of the galaxy. And as the "world turns" so does life. It's been a busy week but a fun and funny week. I know you've had your laughs as you watch from your lofty seat! Dad and Jamison just came back from their morning walk. My hip got me out of bed very early this morning. I must have slept in one place all night. Anyway, it's calming down and I'm on with the day.

Here's a few

The Troy 9  were in Maine visiting with your Uncle Bill and Aunt Nancy. From all I've head a great time was had by all. How can you NOT have a great time. You have a lake and every piece of water paraphernalia known to man, or woman, whichever you prefer. They got home in time to hopefully, get all their laundry done and then off to KJCG's "2022".  I'm assuming they got their laundry done and are not buried in it somewhere.  Corey and I spoke briefly as she was pulling into the driveway the evening they arrived home. I'm sure the kids are trying to squeeze the last bit of summer out of the air. Corey said it's really warm in Maine making the water warm and beautiful. I don't know if Dad and I will try it out but we'll see. I wish you were here.

Uh huh - Miss Attitude

You would love it and probably wouldn't leave the water the entire time. We'll be leaving for Maine on Wednesday and return the first of next week.

Tanya stayed at the house for Corey and Jon, as you know, and took care of the animals. She called the first night and dad went over and helped her get them in. When she didn't call again I asked her how she was doing. She said, "Corey is right. (Boy now there's a phrase we don't want to use too often!) If you wait until about 8:45-9:00 pm the chickens that haven't already gone in to roost,just fall asleep in the yard and you can just pick them up and put them in the pen. It's awesome"! Another lesson learned.

Almost too "green", but close

Speaking of lessons learned, last weekend I painted a couple of accent walls in the "dining room". I say "dining room" because it was. Now, it's a studio. I feel so lucky. I actually have room to move around, cut out large projects and best of all, to be organized where I can get to stuff without having to move the entire project to get to things. And, dad is going to finally have a place of his own. I wanted to put a nice chair and footstool in his music room for him, but he wanted a work bench. So, that's what he has. We're moving all of his guitars, keyboard, computer, trumpet, antique books, trophies (yours and his) into a space he can call his own. I don't think he's had that since we moved from Oakdale 12 years ago. Boy, that seems like an eternity. (Well, it does from here! Besides, I don't think you have any idea about time or space in heaven.) Anyway, back to my original thought. Yes, I did have one. Dad got all of my cubbies put together and I wanted to begin the transition into the new space but I wanted to paint a couple of accent walls in the new studio. Oh, it's a blue, kind of an ocean blue. It has a hint of teal and a shimmer to it. I painted the same color in our bedroom. Dad and I both really like it. I intend to paint a couple of accent walls the same color in the living room when we get back from Maine. ANYWAY, stop interrupting me! I finished the larger expanse of the two

Now that's more like it

accent walls. I just had the top edge of the second wall to finish. I moved things around just enough so I had space to wedge the 5' ladder into position and catch the top edge. My knee and hip were beginning to question whether they wanted to make a couple of more trips up and down the ladder but they persevered and made the trips. I came down the ladder the last time and began easing the ladder out of the narrow pathway I had created for it. You know that split second when you're doing something and you realize, "oh crap"! Yea, one of those! About the time that clicked, the paint tray I had resting on the top of the ladder came flying off as I drug the ladder across the wood floor and the rubber grips on the feet of the ladder went, bup, bup, bup. I did have the presence of mind to take a step back as I looked up and tried to catch the paint tray. No, I don't know why I tried to catch it. It was just a natural reaction. In my minds eye I could just see that beautiful blue paint land right on top of my head. There was no where for me to go but back. Now if there was a perfect fall, this would have been it. The paint tray hit me in the chest, it did miss my head and face for which I am eternally grateful. But again, in that split second, I could see the wood floor below me and all I could think of was, oh no, I'll never get that blue paint out of the grain of that wood floor, original wood floor! Wouldn't you know that I had just filled the paint tray with paint too. It wasn't like it was just the remaining few tablespoons of paint. No, it had to be a full quart of paint. Anyway, it sounds like it took 10 minutes to happen, but it was a split second. Dad and Jamison had gone to run an errand. Good thing too. Dad would have been about as much help as you would have been. You both would have been laughing so hard neither of you would have been any help. And Jamison, he would have been in it with all fours and his nose carrying it all over the house before I could have stopped him. I had just put my flip-flops on to climb the ladder. I couldn't find my old ones in a hurry so I grabbed my new Aerosoles. I mean, it was just for a few seconds, what could possibly happen, right? Yea, right. The flip-flops are black, the paint blue. You get the picture. I scrubbed the heck out of them, laid them in the window sill to dry, grabbed an entire roll of dad's paper towels and a garbage can and began the "sop-up". Now you know dad and his paper towels. I was really taking a chance here. Dad cannot function without paper towels. He'd rather give up meat than paper towels. It took almost the entire roll to sop the worst of it up. I ran and got the mop, took it sopping wet and started on the floor. After about 2-3 rinses I was successful. Once I got the floor cleaned up I started looking around. Dad's computer was sitting on the table to the right of the ladder and my dining table (now work table) was so close the ladder was almost on top of it, was to the left. The table was piled high with my Cricuit and paper goods from my work table in the old studio. Right next to it was an old dresser than I'm going to re-do for my studio. In one quick, fearful, sweeping glance I saw that outside of four or five thread-like streaks on the side of the dresser, the paint had missed everything and had made a direct hit on the ladder and the floor in front of the ladder and me. So outside of the front of me, my flip-flops and the floor, everything was good. Now THAT'S what you call a direct hit. It also made me realize just how fast I can still move...on occasion. Dad and Jamison got back just after everything was cleaned up, thankfully. We all had a good laugh. Oh, the story doesn't end there, it never does.

Blue broken toe and swollen foot 1st day

Later that evening I stretched out on the couch to watch a movie with dad. It's been really, really hot and humid here this last couple of weeks. We had refilled our iced tea and "battened down the hatches" and turned on the air conditioner. As I stretched out on the coach I noticed I had some pain in the top of my left foot and my big toe was bothering me. I really didn't think anything of it. I reached down and rubbed my foot and toe and settled back to watch the movie. It continued to bother me throughout the evening and I semi-conscientiously continued to rub it but didn't really think anything of it. I was so tired when I went to bed that I knew it was hurting but couldn't get awake quite enough to check it out. The next morning when I got out of bed the top and bottom of my foot was hurting and my big toe was black and red. Somehow in the course of everything the afternoon before I had broken my toe. I stayed down most of the day on Sunday and limped to work on Monday morning. I think I would have done fine with the exception that we had six fire drills that morning. Count 'em, 6! Every time the alarm would go off it was 20 stairs down and outside and twenty stairs up and inside. By the end of 440 stairs that morning I was really limping. Tuesday it was throbbing and I stayed home and kept it propped up. Someone at work asked me if I had gone to the doctor? Right! Go to the doctor, pay him $100 so he can look at me, pat my foot and tell me to go home and keep it elevated. NOT! Wednesday morning I was ready to head out to work, still limping, but dad was really fussy about it. He was convinced I should stay off of it another day...or go to the doctor. Now he was sounding just like grandma. So I stayed home another day. I have to admit, he was most likely right. It did help to stay off of it another day. I went to work Friday and sat in one of the lounge chairs with my foot propped up on an ottoman and stayed that way most of the morning. Saturday I was able to go with dad to find him a pair of sandals and do some running around. Today it's doing well. Think I'll get that ladder out again and put up those bathroom curtains!

Until next week, be Aaron, love mom

Do what's in front of you...the image can be changed.

Could be here today!

Good morning son! Well, here we are again one week later. How's your week been? I'll bet you're glad you're where you are right now. It was 102 degrees in Springfield yesterday! Not one of your favorite things...heat! It's been very hot here this week and the humidity and dew point have been off the charts. I've been trying to paint all week and it so hot and the humidity so high the paint would half dry before I could get it to the wall! Dad, Jamison and I stayed in the living room all day yesterday with the air conditioner on. We slept with the air on in the bedroom until 4:30 am this morning. That's a first since we've been in Troy. Dad and Jamison have been talking their walk between 5:30- 6:00 am these days. 

There's a wonderful breeze this morning, it feels so good as I sit propped up here on the couch having a "conversation" with you. We have flash-flood warnings here from 2 pm today through 2 pm tomorrow. We should be fine. We sit on a hill and have a solid rock wall behind us. However, we are surrounded on two sides by a cemetery so I hope the residents don't decide to come for a visit!

Our Troy family are in Maine for a couple of weeks visiting with Bill & Nancy and then for family week. I bet they're have a great time. They live in the water when they're there...as they should.  Tanya is "chicken-sitting" and house sitting this time around. Dad went over the other night to give a hand. He said they had done pretty well. They must have done okay last night because Tanya didn't call. Either that, or she's still chasing chickens!

I worked on a project for 12 hours yesterday. I started in the studio but the heat ran me out. Poor dad, I had project scattered all over the living room. I was printing, cutting, gluing, literally everywhere.  Poor Jamison, spent most of his day on the back of the couch. He was probably afraid I'd glue him to something. Kinda like dad use to be when I painted; afraid to stand to long in one place, afraid I'd paint right over him!

Bill, our fearless leader, Halloween 2008!

Oh, I think I forgot to tell you, or maybe I didn't know yet, anyway, Bill Spiry set for his bar exams a couple of weeks ago. He has to wait seven weeks to hear but I have no doubt that he passed and is on to another great adventure in his life. I still miss working with him. We had a great partnership at work and did some great work but I am so thrilled that he's found his true calling. The world is going to be a better place because Bill is doing what he does best. I'm excited to see him hold up that piece of parchment. As you know, events in our lives can sometimes be painful in order to get to where we're suppose to be, doing what we're suppose to be doing. (He may "shoot me" for this picture, but I just couldn't resist!

I don't know if you've seen the commercial or not, (Do you have television in heaven? I guess you really don't need it do you?n I mean, can you just look down and see everything going on or does it appear like a hologram on a big white cloud for you to see?) I digress. Anyway, back to the commercial. It starts with a young lady sitting in a library in front of her computer and she's talking about when people get older. Like she'd know what that's like. She's all of 20 years old! Anyway, she's talking about how she's concerned about her parents not having any friends and relationships in their "old age", or something to that effect, so she got them involved on line. She's says her parents are up to 18 friends and she's up to like 687, and you know, "that's what life is all about". The whole time she is talking they're showing her parents with friends, attending events, riding bicycles etc. Her parents are living their lives in the real world. She's experiencing her friendships via the Internet. While both are good and have a place it made dad and I both sit up and take notice. Can't say that about commercials much any more. Anyway, the first time I saw it it really hit me hard. That was me; me and dad! All the things we talked about doing when we retired; the things we were going to do and see when we got back here, what's happening. We're back in the same "rut" we were in the last 42 years of our lives. Getting up and doing what's in front of us, just like we taught you all those years. The trouble is, we've never changed what's in front of us. Well, after a long, teary-eyed conversation with a very dear friend last week, dad and I are going to change a few things. We're going to change some of the things that "are in front of us" and get out of here and do some things. In August we're going to Main for a week, September we're going to the Brimfield Antique Show, in October (and dad doesn't know this yet) we're going to Vermont overnight and check out the foliage and November, we're still working on. In December, our trip to CA to see grandma and family. However, part of the family, the Taylor family, are currently in the process of moving to KY. They're flying out on August 13th. They'll be in for a Christmas this year like they've never experienced before! Anyway, back to our conversation about doing what's in front of you. Yes we have to do that, get up and do what's in front of us. What dad and I have lost sight of is that we can change what's in front of us. With a little more saving and a lot more planning we can see and do those things we want to see and do...so, we're going to do that. It might not be on a grand scale, but it will be.

You were never a project, always a best friend and son.

My project I'm working on took me to tons of pictures yesterday. It was a lot of fun. Yes, it did choke me up a couple of times but I had a great day doing it. Such great memories we all made together. I'm so glad we did. I'm so glad you were here. I'm so glad that we had the years we did to love each other, laugh with each other and at each other. To hug each other, to cry with each other, to share with each other, to argue with each other; dad never has understood our communication method, but it worked for us. It always sounded like arguing to him but we knew we weren't angry or upset, we were just sharing our views with each other. I loved doing that with you. You challenged me. When I'd make a statement you made me back it up. So many times it made me reevaluate my opinion and decide if that WAS what I really believed or was I just quoting status quo. You changed some of ideas and opinions by having those open and free conversations. I loved those times. I'm enjoying these one-sided conversations these days too though. Even I'm the only one talking, I can still hear you in my head and heart saying, "are you sure about that mom".


Until next week, be Aaron, love mom