The Sketch of an Artist

Good morning son! Is it smoky up there? Just asking because thee are forest fires all over the western United States today. Including one in Groveland. All of our family are safe. We're praying for those that remain in the area and for the almost 2,000 fire fighters and emergency personnel. The fire is pushing hard and everyone has been fighting for long hours. We're asking the Lord to keep them safe and alert. It only takes a single instant to change someones life forever.

Finally got my new reading glasses this last week. It's been two years since I've been able to sit down and read a book. My first stop was at a used book store! The glasses are so thick I wouldn't want anything but reading glasses with this correction. I don't think I could hold them up all day! But I am so thankful to have them and to be able to read. If I'm reading and look up my hold world goes crazy but as long as I can see to read I'm good.

Dad and I are getting ready to clean off the front porch from all the Spring flowers. The weather is changing rapidly. We're having beautiful days and cooler nights and mornings. I want to plant some mums and decorative grasses for Fall. On my way to Hobby Lobby this last week I found eight great planter pots on the side of the road. Yes, I stopped and picked them up. I saw them on the way to Hobby Lobby but didn't want to turn around so I told myself if they were still there when I came back home I'd pick them up. They were and I did! I'm going to build a table from some of my reclaimed wood  for the porch to set the mirror on and I'll go from there. I also plan on starting on the case for your old Monopoly pieces that Kristin sent to dad. I have everything I need I just need to get it done. I think this will be a good week to get it completed.

Fire starters for Jon

Candles for Corey

I made a couple, of what I think, were great birthday presents for Jon and Corey this week. I used reclaimed wood to make candle stands for Corey and from pine cones, I made fire starters for Jon. Based on what I had to work with I changed them out a little from the original idea I had seen....yes, on Pinterest, but was happy with how they turned  out.  It's birthday season here in New York so projects are a daily occurrence. No problem here! Then there,s Hanukkah and Christmas. Can't wait for Christmas this year. Allegra is coming for a visit. We haven't seen here in a couple of years so it's really going to be a lot of fun having her here. She loves Christmas so much and she is way past ready to see HoHo and Auntie and we're way past wanting to see all of them. All the girls are growing up so quickly. But they're happy and that's what counts. Anyway, it's going to be a fun Christmas. Wish you could be here. You know what I mean.

I've been spending a lot of time this past week sketching. Why have I never tried this before? I love doing it. Dad like me to color them in but I prefer just the pencil and paper. So I compromise on some of them and color them in. I drew a rooster last week and I love the pencil detail on it. Dad however said that the sketch "screamed" for bright color so I colored it in with brush markers. It's okay but I still prefer just the pencil. I think it's kinda like life. Sometimes you need color, sometimes it's just best simply in pencil. God is the artist of this amazing universe. And what an artist. Sometimes it's brilliant color such as the leaves changing color in Fall or the white of the snow in Winter. Sometimes is warm glow of the sun or

 
the blackness of the night. It's as though God knows, and He does, that we're all different and we all need different things in our lives. Some need color, some need the calmness of simplicity. Sometimes we need color for a time and quietness and calmness at other times. Sometimes we don't know what we need or want and during those times we can call on the Lord and He will answer. It's not always what we want to hear. Many times it things we don't want to hear because it requires we take an action. Yes, God could do it for us, but why should He. He gave us what we need to do what we need to do and He's there with us to help us. Some decisions don't come easy. Some are very difficult. But we do what we have to do and He's with us. Sometimes it's not a decision, it's a realization. Sometimes in order to make a decision you need to have the realization.

It's been a good week and I've had some realizations. Sometimes we expect the warmth of the sun and we get the cool of the Fall. Realizing it's exactly what we need at the time and what the artist intended makes all the difference in the decisions we make.

Until next week, be Aaron, love mom

Illumination

Good morning son! How's the light in heaven this morning? That's rhetorical question. Brilliant and above my imagination. I know. Light and illumination has been on my mind all week. Our lives depend on it in so many ways. I know I often take light for granted, until I don't have it. As I mature in life, grow older in case your didn't catch it, it becomes even more necessary. I can remember when your grandpa and grandma we're having their new house built in Oakdale and the contractor asked grandma what color of paint she wanted on the living room walls. Her reply, without hesitation, was WHITE! I want everything white. She told me later that she'd found as she got older the white reflected the light so much better and as she aged she need more light. I find that true as well. However, I'm not at a place where I can have everything painted white as of yet, that would be your Auntie Di! I still need my color even if it's just an accent wall. Speaking of which, with the exception of painting our front door, our entry (lobby) to our home is complete.

Lobby before

and after

After

 Adding the color was wonderful, but ridding the lobby of the cobwebs and dirt was a feeling of satisfaction beyond measure. It's another reason to not wait on someone else to do something sometimes. The landlord asked us two years ago to not do anything because they were going to put paneling on all the walls. That hasn't happened and I couldn't stand it any longer. I think I told you about the supply list last week but just in case you forgot, the perfect yellow paint for the walls, I think the full gallon at Habitat was $7, two rolls of border, $1.98 and less than a cup of my quart of high heat paint for the heater about $1 and two 6' pine board for shelves, $9.95. I figure, other than the weeks work of scrubbing and cleaning,

materials cost us between $13-15. And mama is happy. You know what they say, "When mama's not happy, nobody's happy".  I learned to use the table saw this week too. I wanted to build the shelves  in the "door that goes to no where" in our hallway. I drew up the plans, figured how much and what type of wood I would need, measured and cut. Dad taught me how to set up the saw and gave me tips and help as I put lumber to saw blade. Once I had everything painted I leveled and installed the brackets and shelves. They came out pretty good even if I do say so myself. We did this work in the basement since it was a small project but we'll move the saw up to the deck this week and cut to my hearts content! I'm drawing up plans now for a table I want to make for the front porch out of the reclaimed wood we picked up roadside a

couple of weeks ago. The makeover in the lobby was also a safety issue for all of us here in our home. It's very dark here in the winter and our entry light is set on a sensor. When guests leave our home it's dark in the hall until they reach the door so I wanted to put a small light in the hallway that we could leave on at night. Success! Since there wasn't an outlet in the hallway, Dad ran an extension cord under the door thresh hold and voile', light.

Yesterday I brought up the Fall decor and began. I remade the Fall wreath for the front door. I don't know what shape you would call it. The poor thing is a grapevine wreath and has been on so many doors and moved so many times over the years it has taken on a quirky shape but I use it every year anyway. I just take what I have and rework it. For me, it's not about perfection, it's about the color and the light As you know, Fall and Autumn is my favorite time of year. For dad it's Christmas, for me, it's Fall and Autumn.

I'm continuing to do some sketching and again, light, especially natural light, is playing an

important part in that sketching. Things appear so differently in the light. I remember how unhappy you were when a remake of a black and white movie would come out and they would colorize it. You always talked about what a sad thing it was for them to do that because someone had worked so hard to get the perfect lighting in the black and white shots and all that effort was lost and the light was gone when the movie was colorized. You even refused to watch your favorite movie, "It's A Wonderful Life" unless it was the black and white version. Everything we do in life uses one form of light or another. We ourselves shed light. Or at least we hope we do. I remember all the times during your final journey when you said to me, "Mom, if just one person is able to see the "light", and I knew you were talking about the Lord, or if just one person is helped in any way through this journey the Lord has me taking, just one person, then it will be worth all the pain, all the agony, all the chemo, all the drugs and the loss of my physical life. Son, you had a light, you chose to call is "JOY". 

This week Sarah shared something with dad and me and she has given her permission for me

to share it here on my blog. Although we all want to know that our lives have meaning very often we never get to see the results of our lives nor do we hear if we have made a different in any one's life. Sarah is an awesome young woman who God has placed in our lives years ago. I don't believe any of us had any idea where our lives would go so many years ago. We just saw a need at the time and God used our family. What an awesome God He is to let us share in this miracle.Here's Sarah's story, written in her own words:

Sarah Monkhouse

10-July-2013

Choosing Joy

            Aaron came into my life at a point where I needed a friend and a big brother almost more than I needed air to breathe.  My life was falling apart; I was going to have to move schools, again. I had finally found the place that I fit in. After going to twenty-four different schools, some for only a day, I was devastated to know I would be starting all over for the twenty-fifth time.  My mom was in the midst of yet another divorce and this time I was sure that I was to blame.  At the tender age of ten I just knew that somehow everything was my fault.  I can’t remember exactly how it came about but I somehow ended up in a musical comedy at my church about the ‘fourth wise man’ that got lost along the way to find baby Jesus.   It was actually quite funny and witty.  I was standing there a shy awkward kid, who was nervous about being put on a stage in front of what may as well have been a hundred thousand people, when suddenly Aaron appeared the spotlight from stage left with a booming heavenly voice.  I was in complete awe of the aura he projected, he was one of the largest people I have ever seen, and while he was physically large that is not what I mean here.   He took up more space than seemed possible and radiated happiness and had a lightness that filled the whole building.  I knew this guy had something I wanted; if I could just be like that I was sure nothing would ever bother me again. 

All of this musical frivolousness was happening just as the rug was yanked from beneath my feet and I was looking for a safe place to land; my mother and I were again without a place where we felt safe.  Aaron and his parents, who would later become affectionately known in our family as Auntie Jan and Uncle Ray, took my mother and I into their house at a pivotal point in our lives.  I am not sure if it has been clear enough to this point, but it was Christmas and we were alone.  They made it the most memorable Christmas possible. Ray was a dead ringer for Santa and Jan easily met the qualifications to be his Mrs. Clause.  Their whole house perfectly captured the spirit of the Christmas Season.  It had the aroma of a hot oven bursting with homemade bread plopped down in the middle of a freshly snowed on forest, it had tiny villages and ice skaters gliding on impossibly smooth sheets of ice.  I later came to know that their house was a winter wonderland year round.  That Christmas I learned how to play so many different board games that I dreamt of what move I would make next as I slept.  We made ornaments, homemade cinnamon rolls, and in the end learned what it was like to be a normal stable family.   It was a lesson I will never forget and I treasure being able to pass along the feeling of that holiday to my own children as we grow and set our own traditions as a family.

After the holidays came to pass Aaron and his family helped us get our house set up, redecorated and turned into a place where my mom and I would be happy living.  My mom wasn’t as changed by the experience as I was.  She went back to her old habits, but I always remembered what it was like to be a normal family.  I have instilled the values he and his family showed me into the family I am raising with my husband.  After a couple great years of friendship Aaron ended up moving away and getting married, in the meantime I was wrapped up in school and getting started with my own life.  We tried to keep in touch but got too busy becoming adults and drifted apart. 

Then the most wonderful thing happened!  I found him on Facebook.  Who’d have ever guessed that Facebook would do something good?  As we planned out a visit, caught up on each other’s lives, and made travel arrangements, he dropped a bomb out of the clear blue sky. He told me he had cancer. He said it without a touch of hostility or self pity. The kicker was it was terminal and he was not going to live for very much longer.  I was overwhelmingly angry.  How in the world could this happen to a man who brought so much good to the world?  As I tried to choke back the tears and conceal my anger at the unjustness of life, he told me he had made a choice.  He told me his choice was joy.  I was flabbergasted.  What did he mean he ‘chose joy’, he was dying. He was happily newlywed to an amazing woman named Kristin. Now he was not going to be a father, would never grow old with his bride and would never know the feeling of honor that came from being called “sir” after growing to old age.  There was nothing joyful about the situation in my eyes.

A few weeks later my husband and I loaded our son and bags into the car and started our drive up to Oregon, to say what I was certain would be a long tearful goodbye to one of the biggest bright spots in my past.  Little did I know that when I got up there everything would change.  I got to meet the man that my friend had become.  He was still just as committed to God, but held no judgment against anyone, something that many Christians battle with in this day and age.  He could think of not one negative word to say about anyone.  What I was most amazed by though, was the fact that he was still him.  He was still doing standup comedy shows, treating his wife and dog like they were the most incredible creatures to walk the planet in the history of the natural world,  making time to have meals with his parents and most of all bringing light to the lives of the people he saw daily for his treatment.  

As I spent those few days with him and saw that he meant it, that he really had chosen joy, I got a new perspective on life.  If this man who had every right to be angry could smile and bring good to the world then what reason did have not to do the same?  I decided right then and there that I too would choose joy.   Aaron had gotten sleeve tattoos and done some fun things with his hair upon finding out that he would not have to worry about what they would look like when he grew up, because of this he knew a fantastic artist.  I went with him to get “Choose Joy” tattooed on my shoulder before I hit the long road home.  While we were there a woman who I didn’t know walked out from behind the curtain of the tattooing area and looked like she was surprised to see us there.  She said she was really happy to run into Aaron there because she was too excited to wait until Monday to show him what she had just done.  She had just had “Choose Joy” tattooed across her wrist.  She said she would see it every time she looked at her watch to take someone’s pulse.  It was then that I realized she was his nurse.   He had not only made a lifelong impact on my life, but the life of many others as well.  

 Aaron kept a blog (judasforgiven.blogspot.com) right up until his final days and was able to reach farther than I knew a single person could; he was gifted a trip to New York to see one of his favorite books, Wicked , performed on Broadway by a DJ in Kansas who heard his story.  He had dinner in the exclusive club 33 inside of Disneyland courtesy of a friend.  He personally gave one of his “Choose Joy” bracelets to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt while on a trip to Knott’s Berry Farm.  Most importantly though, he was able to publicly spread his story about finding joy in the face to difficulties and deciding he would be happy for the time that he had left. 

Unfortunately when I hugged him goodbye that day it would be the last time I would see him, but I am proud to say that he chose joy right up to the end.  I am also very proud to have called him a friend.   Because of him, I realized what I want to be when I finish growing up; because of him I will be an oncology nurse.  He inspired me to be the best me I can be, not only for myself but for the world around me.  The world is free to be grumpy and find the negative in life, but for me, I choose joy.

 Until next week, be Aaron, love mom

Grace Neverending

Afternoon son! How are you today? That's a rhetorical question. I already know you're great. Sorry I'm a bit late. Spent some girl time with Corey, Sierra and Josie this morning while Corey took a break from homework. We had a great visit and many laughs as always.

What would you do if I ever said we had a dull week? I don't think you have to worry about it. The weeks seem to be always full and always busy. It's been a beautiful couple of days; in the 80s with low humidity. Good playing weather and good sleeping weather. While the group was in Maine last week dad and I spent the week finally getting a handle on the entrance and hall to our home. It was a disaster. We spent three days just scrubbing and vacuuming. Fortunately, dad had the foresight to move a shop-vac with us when we moved. It had never been opened. I cleaned the lower 14 stairs and dad did the upper 14. We scrubbed all the woodwork, banister and edges and then used the shop vac for all the cobwebs and the carpet runner up the stairs. Like I said, it was a mess. The landlords haven't done in "forever"! Neither of us could stand it any longer. When I used the shop vac on the hall way I thought it was going to pull the carpet up. We spent the next two days painting and putting up a border; all for $9! The Lord gave me a gallon of yellow paint and two rolls of wall paper border at Habitat Resale for $9. If I had gone to Home Depot to pick out the perfect yellow It wouldn't have been this great! And, it was a full gallon! The packages of border had never been opened and they were heavy duty vinyl. It's an Americana print with "Old Glory". Matches perfectly like it was made for the project. Well actually, it was.

There is no electrical outlet in the lobby or hall so we're fixing that today so we can put a small lamp there. The wiring in the old house is something you don't want to mess with so while I was off having fun this morning, dad took up the threshold. We'll run an extension cord from the outlet inside out door, under the threshold and to the lamp. There's always a way in "Jannie Land", as dad says. Dad is so great about all the projects. I just never seem to stop and he just goes right along and does what needs to be done. The overhead light is on a sensor and you have to be standing right under it to get it to come on. It's dangerous for dad at night so we'll fix that little problem with a lamp I already have. The lamp has a lamp base with a 4" star. I repainted it from a light blue to red, covered the lamp shade with left over wall paper, added a yellow gold trim and voile', a new lamp for the hall!

Last weekend I brought the shutters in from the front porch decor, since that's all about to change, painted them red. They will become the headboard for the bed in the guest room. Let me tell you, painting four, six foot shutters with a brush is no small feat! But, I have a gallon of red paint and I'm not about to buy red spray paint when I have all of that. Anyway, it's all done, the painting that is.

I don't remember if I told you or not, but dad and I picked up a load of reclaimed 1" x 4" wood on the side of the road last week. I am in heaven! Well, not literally, so don't start looking for me just yet, but you know what I mean.  I am so excited I can hardly stand it. I thought we'd get to build some planters and "candle" boxes this week but unfortunately, the State of New York seems to have other ideas. I have jury duty! Can you believe it? I know. In 64 years I don't get called until I'm 60 and now at 64. What have they been waiting on for crying out loud. I think they just waited until I retired to be ornery. 

God continues to provide grace for this life. Just when I think He can't surprise me any more He does it again and I again am amazed. Grace...God's unmerited favor! I am reminded ever day of God's grace and how little I merit that gift, but God continues to give it. As I struggle through the ups and downs of my daily life I am eternally grateful that I have the Lord. I know, without a doubt, without it there would be no reason to remain. Oh yes, I've thought about that. Sometimes just the daily struggles of life become so heavy. God holds me and reminds me that although what I'm struggling with at the time may seem laughable to some He knows the grip of the struggle for me. He's never promised a life without struggle, but He does assure me that He will be there to hold me through it. It also helps me to understand that when I see someone else struggling with something and I want to make a face and say, "Oh get over it.", for them it could be it's more unbearable than they can handle. So, I need to use caution and be aware that a struggles depth of meaning is known only to the bearer of the struggle and God.

God's grace is sufficient.

Until next week, be Aaron, love mom

What's In Your Dash?

Good morning son! Well, here we are, you and me on Sunday mornings just like old times. I'd get you ready, then I'd get ready and then we'd wait for dad to get ready! You'll be happy to know that not much has changed: more great memories that we thought we were making for you, turned out to be for us. Dad walked entirely too much yesterday and I would imagine he was up with leg cramps last night because the lotion is out on the counter and it's 9 AM and he's still sleeping. That's something you never saw in our home while growing up! It's good that we both can now. Sleeping until we want to get up is a luxury that we very much enjoy.

It's been another full and busy week, dad taking care of the neighbor's cat and me helping with the kids for a portion of the week. Miss Josie and I made a summer wreath for their front porch door. Darn, I should have taken a picture. Anyway, it's pink, white and purple. She says it's a family wreath but it has the word "princess" blazoned" across the front in pink lettering so you

can take that with a wink and a nod! She wanted to do her own hot-melting so dad and I bought her a Cool-Melt glue gun. All metal and parts that heat are coated so if she bumps it or gets up against it she doesn't get burned. She's a lot like her Aunt Jan though. She had to try it for herself so as it was heating she put h fingers to the tip of the gun and yelled, "Aunt Jan, it's HOT, not COOL". It's not hot enough to burn her unless she just "hangs on" but she didn't. I had to explain again that it has to get hot to melt the glue but it's padded and coated so you can't accidentally burn yourself but that you don't intentionally see if you can get burned. She determined that she didn't want to glue anything on, she'd just tell me what to do. Some things never change! As she was instructing me in wreath making she got out some birdhouses and decided she'd paint. A few minutes later I looked over and she had her hot melt gun and was gluing some decorations onto her birdhouse.

Another exciting and scary milestone this week; Sierra got her driver's license!! Woo hoo! The scary thing is, that she's old enough to do that. She graduates in May 2014. I'm telling you, it's as though time is a whisper in the wind and it's giggling, "bye-bye, bye-bye". Sierra says we're going for coffee at Starbucks when she gets back from Maine. Let the good times roll!

We haven't seen much of Hunter, Trey or Dylan, or better known as the "B Boys", this summer. They're busy too and schedules just haven't meshed. I know Hunter is working and is training for high school football. 

This coming week dad and I do not have one single appointment on our calendars! Woo hoo! We're going to work with saws and wood and I can't wait. Since we have two neighbors that work late and sleep in the mornings we're going to do our wood work in the afternoons. In the mornings this week I'm finally going to be able to work on our lobby and front entrance. It's horrible and I can't stand it any longer. It's really pathetic and I can't wait to get started. I have my red paint for our front door and am so anxious to get it painted BUT, it's going to take a lot of cleaning before I can start painting....so hello Ray!. Even so, I am so happy to have a week to get it done. Have I told you I'm excited?

Cleaning, painting and wood work are not the adventures we had planned when we retired. At least not the only adventures. But so far, that's what our adventures have been and will be for the foreseeable future. We pay our bills and make ends meet and the Lord takes care of the needs but so far the extra for adventures is not on our horizon for us to see. That doesn't mean we don't have those dreams any longer it just means that coming back from loosing you is taking much longer than we ever thought it would. Although time is passing quickly, healing is

progressing slowly. Plus, we don't move as quickly as we use to, unless of course we're falling down stairs; then we move very quickly. We are not in this boat alone. Many, many seniors have worked hard their entire lives and are just making ends meet. We continue to pray that the Lord will help us find that little niche in this economy so we can make a few extra dollars each month so we can take an adventure once in awhile. We'll find it. In the meantime we're very grateful for a beautiful place to live, groceries and our bills paid. That's more than many, many, many people can say this morning. What is it dad always says, "Faith is believing it's so, when it's not so, so that it may be so". 

It certainly is true that life is a journey. I often think about my life and the journey. I wonder what people are doing to say about that "dash" on my tombstone, or urn, as the case may be. "Jan Jamison, Born - Died".  I hope the dash includes that I loved the Lord, I married a man that served the Lord with his whole heart and won many souls for the Lord and that I was his helpmate through life and we served together. I hope the dash will say that I raised a son who grew to be a man and servant of God, who was never ashamed of his faith or his God and joyfully went home to his heavenly father when called. I hope the dash says I was able to do the same. I hope the dash says that I helped people, that I loved my friends and cherished the trust and friendship they bestowed on me. I hope the dash says that my God was pleased with me. I hope the dash says I loved the family God gave me here on this earth whether I was every able to meet them all or not. I hope the dash says I did what I was able to help others in whatever way was possible for me to be able to do so. I hope the dash says that I share my love of God whenever possible. I hope the dash says that I was not ashamed of my relationship with my heavenly father. I hope the dash says that my life was not built around material things but of loving and caring for His sheep as He asked of me. I hope the dash says that I was a person of integrity and honesty. I hope the dash says, "you have been a good and faithful servant". That's what I hope my dash says.

Until next week, be Aaron, love mom

Subject: How Do You Live Your Dash?
I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning….. to the end
He noted he first came to her date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years. (1900 – 1970)
For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on this earth…
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own:
The cars…the house…the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard….
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
To consider whats true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile….
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.
So when your eulogy’s being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?
Author Linda Ellis