Resolute

Happy New Year son! It's beginning as a white one. It snowed all day yesterday and has been absolutely beautiful. Today we have a high of 19 degrees and expecting more snow. Today, I also have the beginnings of a cold. I've fought the good fight, but I've lost. It's been a very long time since I've had a cold. In fact I can't remember the last time, but I certainly do recognize the cough, runny nose, watery eyes and just feeling physically lousy. You know dad, it's NOT due to lack of vitamins! I began taking Zicam this morning with the hope that even though I've acquired this visitor, he won't stay around very long.

I'm finding it is becoming easier and easier to sit here on the couch and watch it snow while reading, or crocheting, or looking through Pinterest, or talking with dad, or watching a movie or any of the other things that I dreamed of doing in bad weather....other than running off to work. I could really get use to this. I know that's hard for you to believe. I think dad thinks I'm a little "off my game" since I'm not up staying busy. But to tell you the truth, I'm very much enjoying it.

Dad's out shoveling the front porch and steps and Jamison is right there "helping". I'm trying to stay focused on my conversation with you but it's become more difficult every minute between, "you gotta see this" and let's take a picture and helping Jamison so he can see out and see dad focusing is a little difficult this morning. BUT, fun too! Jamison loves the snow. With his tiny. short legs, if he weren't black, you'd loose him in the snow.

Do you have snow in heaven? I highly doubt it but then again I have no trouble picturing it swirling around all the sparkles and shimmers of the pearls, jewels and gold. How pretty that would be. Dad and I were just talking yesterday about the "angels hair" we use to put around those big Christmas lights we use to put on the tree and how beautiful it was to see the light filter through the angel hair. Maybe you've seen some of that in heaven? Lights through angel's hair as they celebrated the birthday of Jesus. What a wonderful gift He gave to us. And now, as we approach another new year what an amazing opportunity we all have. A new beginning so to speak. To start fresh and new. I know, I know, all the same old problems and challenges will still be there facing us, but this is a new opportunity to look at those problems and challenges with fresh eyes and ideas. It's a chance to say okay let's take a look at this and see what I can do to make a difference. It's probably going to be something that no one else will even know I've done. But, I will know. I'm looking forward to the opportunity to look at my world through fresh eyes. I don't have an angels eyes but I do worship the same God so in essence, I guess I do have angels eyes. Eyes that have the ability to see past all the trouble and problems and see the joy. Eyes that have the ability that adds the warmth to my smile. Eyes that have the ability to focus on the good no matter where I am or what is happening. I'm not an angel, (stop laughing) by any means of the word, but like I said, we know the same God. 

As you know, I've never been one, and still am not, for making New Year's resolutions. I can be very resolute however. 

 res·o·lute  

/ˈrezəˌlo͞ot

Adjective Admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering.

Synonyms determined - firm - decided - resolved - decisive

I like the "admirably purposeful". Although at times I know many have used the term "stubborn" to describe my purposefulness and I am sure they have been right. But, let's get back to the topic of the new year. I so want this year to be full of purpose. I want it to have meaning. I want dad and I to realize our purpose here in Troy NY. I know all the reasons we chose to be here but I just feel as if God has a greater purpose. I want this new year to be the year we discover God's purpose. That God will reveal that purpose to us both and that when He does we will accept it and live our lives to the fullest to complete the purpose He sets before us with joy in our hearts. 

Until next week, be Aaron, love mom

Merry Christmas 2012

Merry Christmas eve, eve son!  I'm late getting started with our conversation this morning I know. Dad has been letting me sleep until I wake up since my trip and unfortunately, I'm not waking up until about 10:00 am. I must be having more difficulty with the time change than I thought.  As I look out the living room window this morning I can see flakes of snow as they drift toward the ground. The weather prediction for Christmas eve and Christmas day is snow. We've had several days of snow here in December but nothing has stuck. It's really beautiful just to watch and to imagine that every single, right now minute, flake that falls has an identity of it's own. No two are alike. Just like us. I know that Christmas is considered to be the season of miracles but as I sit here and watch the tiny flakes fall I can't help but to think about the miracles that are around me every day. It's amazing to think that God knows the number of grains of sand on the beach. Just consider the fact that the "beach" flows under the ocean waters as well as what we can see along the ocean borders. And consider the fact that He knows the "cattle on a thousand hills" as the song writer wrote. Hey, I consider it a miracle that God loves me. I know how much your dad loves me. But to think that God loves me more? How much is more? How could there even be any more. I don't think there's any way for us to know how much God really loves us and how many miracles really occur in our lives every day. I wonder what it would be like if we could see the miracles as they happen. I wonder how many times we see a miracle and brush it off to coincidence? It is true, God is a maker of miracles. We have to believe. We have to trust. We have to know that God wants only the best for us. We have to know that His plan works in the best of timing. His timing. We have to do all that God gives us the power to do on our own and then trust that God's timing is perfect. As difficult as that must be.  To not believe, to not trust, to "force" our time table on God's miracle is saying we know better than God. If we love and trust our earthly father who has "miracle" limits, how could we not trust our Heavenly Father who has no limits?

I've been watching every Christmas moving I can possibly see this Christmas season. Some I have seen before but for the most part the ones I have seen are new to me. It seems they have the same theme. Something bad has to happen in order for the miracle to happen Last night we watched a couple of the "Touched By An Angel" Christmas shows. In trying to explain why the person had died the reason given was, "they had finished what God had given them to do". It raises a question for me in that I didn't think we ever finished what God has given us to do but then again, we are all created for a purpose. That purpose is to glorify God. Anyway, I'm getting off track here. The natural question for me, given that thought, is naturally, what purpose did God have for you here on earth that you finished? Dumb, I know, but a natural question for a parent. I know I certainly wasn't ready for you to be finished. You had a full, talented life ahead of you, children to have and raise, people to touch and bless. Who knows where your talents would have taken you. And yet God said, you are complete.It's funny. As I write this I thought I would get angry, but I'm not. God shared you, a miracle, with me. You were living proof that miracles occur every day. Babies are born every day. What better way to see a miracle than to bring a baby into this world. There just isn't one. Think about the cycle of life is amazing and a miracle in itself.  The doctor didn't believe that there was any way he could bring you into this world alive. And yet, there you were for 38 years. Alive, breathing and praising Him. Just as you were created to do. And, we were privileged to be an integral part of God's miracle. To raise you, take care of you, provide for you, love you, enjoy your wonderful hugs, hear your laughter, wipe away your tears, share your pain and have you love us in return. What greater miracle could anyone ask?

Aaron Matthew Jamison

As dad and I enjoy this Christmas season we "hear' your laughter around us as we bring out the memories of the Christmas toys, the ornaments, the pictures of Christmas' past and share stories. Dad and I continue to look for miracles each and every day. We get anxious. We get upset  because we can't do all those things for people that we use to do. We get fearful at times because we can't see the answer. Sometimes trust and miracles seems so far away and out of our reach. BUT, down deep in the deepest places in our hearts, we KNOW, God is in the miracle business, He wants only what is best for us and His miracle is in the making for 2013 and always. Merry Christmas son! We know you remain a special son in the eyes of the King and your Heavenly Father. Just as you do in ours.

Until next week, be Aaron, love mom

So Many Things To Celebrate

Good morning son. How are you this freezing Groveland morning? I guess you really don't need to worry about weather in heaven do you? The weather here the last couple of weeks has been exceptional. We've had sun, rain, snow....and I've enjoyed it all. Dad said in his email to me this morning that they're expecting snow today in Troy and then rain the next couple of days. I head home Tuesday afternoon.

Yesterday was the Atkins family Christmas so the house was full. It was great to see everyone. I baked and made candy for two weeks. We didn't get the Spritz Cookies made, nor the Rocky Road candy but I don't think anyone missed either. Clay, Meg and the boys decided to leave last night for home rather than this morning. Eric, Kim and Noah spent the night so they could visit this morning. I've evidently lost track of time  because I didn't realize it was Sunday until grandma said she had watched Charles Stanley this morning. It dawned on me at that point I'd best get to writing.

Even having the seven kids in Troy to enjoy, (Did I just make a rhyme?) , it's amazing when you add seven more kids. They had a ball together and they were all so good. Grandpa (Ron) got out his remote helicopter and car and believe it or not, in the house, and they all played for hours. They watched movies, played bull fighting, played games on their iPads and ate. Rita was here to experience some of it. Clay, Meg and the boys arrived Friday night so she was able to experience Seth, Layne and Cole before everyone else arrived. It gets pretty lively around here when there are 30 people in the house, but such fun. It's great to have everything ready and just be able to sit back and watch everything in motion.

Rita had to leave yesterday so I ran her to the airport. It was suppose to be crazy weather so we left for the airport early for Sacramento. Outside of rain, the weather ended up being good. I don't know what time Rita got it but the last I heard she was experiencing delays in San Francisco due to the fog. I'll have to check later this morning to make sure she got home okay. I'd text her but the coverage here in Groveland is almost nil so I'll email.  She and I both should have brought a bigger suit case.

Memories

I'm looking forward to being back home with dad and Jamison. It's been so much better this time to have the availability of email. We've talked every day too but I know they're both ready for me to be home. Dad was going to do all the Christmas decorating while I was gone.  What do you want to bet it didn't happen? LOL If he's got the Christmas tree up and decorated I'll be happy. I want to spend more time decorating the front porch than in the house this year. I have some great ideas and want to make some fresh boughs with pine cones for the porch. Dad said this morning that they say we're going to have a white Christmas. How cool would that be!

Christmas with you was always so much fun. As fun as it was when you were little I think I enjoyed the Christmases more the older you got. You just loved it so much. We sang carols, you wore your Santa hat beginning in July. Such good memories. All the fun and yet you always knew what Christmas was really about. The birth of Jesus.  As I've shared with you so many times before, what His mother must have endured. What she must have felt as a mother, holding her infant son, knowing what His future was going to be. What a faith she must have had. How strong she must have been. How much trust she must have had in her Heavenly Father. And Joseph, how much trust and love he must have had for Mary.  What a miracle that birth was. I don't think there is any way for us to know how Mary and Joseph or what they experienced when Jesus was born. What an amazing night and journey that must have been. I'm looking forward to having a conversation with Mary when I get to heaven. I want to thank her for the sacrifice she made. I know how my heart aches. I cannot imagine the pain and agony she experienced. I am so thankful she was willing.

Enjoy the preparations in heaven for the Christmas season. Decorate, sing, share, go caroling with the angels and celebrate Jesus' birthday with Him!

Until next week, be Aaron, love mom  

19 Days...But Who's Counting?

Trichelle and Jenny - It's cookie baking time!

Good morning son! Well, I guess I should really be honest about it cause I don't want you to think you're "loosing it". It's really noon here in California on Saturday. I know, I know, I'm early but there is so much going on I didn't want miss telling you about it. Today is bake day for the Christmas party on December 15th. Actually, I've been baking all week but there baking cookies and making candy today. Most of the gang is here. Trichelle and her four, Hannah, Kaleb, Zach and Abby. Jenny and her little one, Dennis. Heather, Mom, Diane, Ron and me. They're baking sugar, oatmeal, oatmeal chocolate chip, buttermilk,ginger, Spritz, and date cookies. Rocky Road, fudge, and peanut brittle candy. I've made four fruitcakes, two loaves of apricot/walnut bread and four dozen cinnamon rolls. A couple of days before next Saturday's party I'll bake a couple of Raisin Walnut pies. We're going to have lasagna, green salad and garlic bread for lunch next week. It will be a lot of fun. Wish you and dad were here.

Diane and I will go to the airport next Tuesday and pick Rita up. She'll be here through the 15th. We'll bake more, read, watch more Christmas movies, go to the Consignment Store, maybe back to Twain Hart to the Country Pharmacy, maybe Jamestown, maybe just stay in and read and eat. Who knows, we kinda play it all by ear.

I've been talking with dad every day and we write frequently via email. It's so nice to have email. I remember in the "olden" days we couldn't call very much because it was long distance and it took a week to get cards sent. I was usually only gone a week, or dad was, so dad usually packed cards and notes throughout my luggage...along with vitamins!  This time, it's an entire case full of vitamins and pills. But on the upside, I only had to bring a small carry-on because both Auntie Di and Grandma have a washer and dryer so I don't have to bring all the clothes I use to pack.

It's beautiful here on the mountain. Most days have been sunny and clear. The last couple of days the fog (Remember the coastal fog?) has rolled in later in the afternoon. Last night was chilly but I don't think the weather has been anything near what dad and Jamison have been experiencing, ice rain! It hasn't stopped them from the daily walk though. Dad said the other day when he came back he had to give Jamison a warm bath to wash off the icicles. I guess every day Jamison has caught the scent of either a rabbit or a deer and chased them out of their respective beds. One day Jamison caught dad off guard and took off running. Dad said he had to run to keep up and ended up in "Brier Rabbit's thicket" at the top of a knoll. It must have been pretty funny seeing this little 20 pound dog, running from mound to mound tracking a rabbit while dad, bundled up like the kid in "Christmas Story" running on one good knee, a knee brace and a cane trying to keep up without toppling over! If they had been running down hill Jamison would have probably been dragging dad. It's a funny sight to think about but it wouldn't have been very funny if he had fallen cause I wasn't there for him to call for help.

A mother's love for her son shines through.

I can hardly believe that Christmas is only a few days away. By now, you would have been wearing your Santa hat since July and singing Christmas carols. I was just thinking yesterday about all the years we made Christmas cookies. We did it every year since you were three except for your last year. It was always such fun.I'm looking forward to looking through the Christmas album with dad before Christmas this year. Memories are a two-edged sword. They can be wonderful and at the same time, cause such great pain. I often wonder about Joseph and Mary and the memories they had with their child. They were parents and wanted the same things for their son that dad and I wanted for you. They were human just as dad and I are human. Sometimes I think we put them up on a "different level" but if I really stop and think about it, they were a mom and dad just like dad and I are a mom and dad. They wanted what was best for their child. They sent him to school, took him shopping, cared for and worried about him when he was ill. Clothed and fed him. Joseph had a job and worked everyday for his family. They went to church. They had friends and family and shared special family events. Mary took care of the home, invited guests to their home, made their clothes, all those things that dad's and mom's do every day. Mary must have had an amazing faith.And just think, today, both of our sons are in heaven together. So many centuries apart, ending up in the exact same place, together. Quite amazing isn't it when you think about it.As a mother, I know, even though she knew from the beginning what the outcome was going to be, she would have changed nothing to have had those few years with him while he was here on earth. I wouldn't either. However, that doesn't mean that this mom, here on earth, doesn't shed tears for what she has lost and the things that will never be, I know in my heart that God has a much bigger plan.

While we're talking about it, or actually, while I'm talking about it, what IS Christmas like in heaven? We've talked briefly about this before I think. Talk about lights! Streets of gold glistening in the sunlight. The pearly gates gleaming from their daily polishing. The colors of the rainbow in the sky as the sun shines through windows of precious stones blue topaz, ruby, emerald and sapphire.How amazing life must be for you now. Do you sing Christmas carols with the angel choir? You forgot your guitar when you left but I imagine there is every musical instrument you could possible want in heaven and that you now have the ability to play them all. You were so talented while you were here, I can just imagine how you've turned things upside down in heaven. Enjoy!

Until next week, be Aaron, love mom

42 Years and Counting

Good morning son! I'm visiting with grandma and family in California right now. We currently in the midst of a wind and rain storm. And I do mean storm. It hit last night before we went to bed and is really roaring this morning. We'd planned on going to church this morning but it wouldn't be safe to go out in it this morning. The trip here went as planned and on time which was a great thing. We've been watching Hallmark movies, visiting, eating and decorating. Well, actually all the grand kids did the decorating and we sat and watched. The did a great job. It was raining so hard out that they just got about half the decorations out front but they're finish it when the storm lets up. Dad says they have snow at home, about 3-4 inches. He and Jamison went on their walk yesterday and dad says when they got back Jamison had icicles hanging off his belly. Dad washed him off and wrapped him up in a blanket and he took a nap.

Watching Hallmark movies certainly brings back so many memories of our Christmases together. How you loved Christmas. I must say, I shed some tears yesterday but I managed to hold myself together for the most part. We didn't have a tree last year but dad is determined this year. We brought everything up before I left and he says he's decorating while I'm here. We'll finish up when I get home. I have some great ideas for the front porch and am really looking forward to putting it all together.

Rita is coming here for a visit Dec 11-15. It will be so good to see her and have a good visit. She loves visiting with mom and Diane as well so we'll have a great time. We'll probably include some baking in her time here and a trip to the Country Store in Twain Hart as well. It will be a good time.

This is probably going to be a short conversation this morning. Because of the storm, I guess, the Internet is bouncing back and forth and is having some trouble when I try to save. Needless to say I will be very unhappy if I loose what I have already written. Been there, done that!

This Wednesday, December 5th is dad and my 42nd anniversary. As I stop and try to remember those years I am amazed. I cannot even imagine my life without your dad in it. And the great thing is, after 42 years, I never even try. I look forward to so many more years together. As with all couples there are good times and bad times. To say that life has always been blissful would be an untruth, or as you would have put it, a lie. You were never one to  mince words. Don't know where you got that trait. Dad and I were just talking the other day about our life together. It seems as though it was just yesterday when we were traveling to Santa Cruz with an organ in the back of the "hopped up" Ford wagon had. We hauled them all over the county and dad would take them into people's home for a demonstration. Very seldom did we ever have to haul one back!

It has been a very eventful life and as we've always told you, never boring. We've lived in many places and made many friends and met many people. Over the years we've had the opportunity to share our life together with many. Dad has preached the Word, "helped" Santa, helped others, loved me, loved you, shared his wealth (whatever it happened to be at the time), been there for us in good times and rough times. He's the man of my heart and I love him with all my heart. Grandma use to tell us when we were of the dating age to not date anyone we would not consider marrying. As kids usually do with most parental advice, we nodded and went on our way. She was right. The minute I laid eyes on your dad I was a gonner and it hasn't changed in 42 years. I didn't have a chance. You were one of the most amazing gifts God ever brought into our lives. IF I could do it all over again, knowing the outcome you can bet I would do all the same things.You were the joy in our life. God allowed us 38 years and although I will always miss you and your laughter and hugs it's amazing that I find I see you in dad's eyes and hear your laughter when he laughs. I guess I just needed to look.

I don't know what the future holds for dad and I but I do know that God knows and for right now I'm content in that.

Before I leave today I want to wish my hubby a very happy anniversary. I'm going to miss you Wednesday. We've never missed one together BUT I'm looking forward to celebrating with you on January 9th. Thank you for this trip to visit family and for being willing to share my time. I love you, since the first day I met you and forever more.

December 5, 1970

Until next week, be Aaron, love mom