Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick...Literally

Snow...October 27, 2011

Hey son!  What's with the snow?  It's October for crying out loud.  I think the last October snow here in Troy was back in the early 1800's.  Are you trying to be funny?  Did you have anything to do with this?  I bet you're sitting up there just laughing your head off!  It's actually quite beautiful. I told dad yesterday I'm actually looking forward to winter this year.  I'm tired.  It will be a chance to slow down and enjoy. A time to reflect.  A time to remember. A time to refresh.  In the meantime, life continues to be full and never ever dull!
 

So,the week began on Monday morning and I'm here to tell you....the week began with a flurry...no pun intended.  The flurry of snow came later in the week. This is the "flurry" of weekly events.  You got that right?  I mean you do understand there is a difference in the use of the word "flurry" here, right?  I mean, I don't want to confuse you.  I want you to understand there is a difference in the way I have used the word.  Got it?  Okay, just wanted to make sure.  Now if at any time you need it clarified just let me know.  I sure don't want to leave you in the dark at any time.  Oh, go on with the story?  Oh, okay, just didn't want to confuse you!

Here's the exact text I received from Corey about 9:30 am:

"Can u pls get Josh from school and bring him to office with some tweezers?  He has giant tick.  Then I can take it out and could you take him back?" 



Fortunately for me, I was actually out of bed and ready for the day.  Not a normal thing these days. I gathered my gear and headed out.  Josh and I arrived at KJCG about 15 minutes later and were directed to the conference room where we found Corey in the midst of a board meeting via Skype.  She proceeded to swivel the computer around and said, "here Aunt Jan, meet Judith.  Judith, meet Aunt Jan".  Judith and I said our hello's.  Josh and I said hello to everyone else in the room, Corey excused herself from the meeting and we headed to her office where she promptly removed the tick from the middle of Josh's back. Now came the real challenge.  What to do with the tick.  I suggested washing it down the drain, and in a hurry, because I was holding the cup with the tick crawling up the edge!  Corey said she had tried that and they just crawl back up into the sink.  So we headed to the break room.  With Josh close at hand, because it's alive and an animal so where else would he be.  Now, Josh suggests that he take it home and add it to his menagerie.  Thankfully, Corey didn't think that was such a hot idea but it didn't keep Josh from listing all the reasons why it would be a great idea.  In the meantime, while the discussion between Josh and Corey continues, Corey is looking through the shelves in the break room trying to come up with some way to dispose of this little creature that continues to try to wind itself up the side of this coffee mug.  (Come to think of it, I wonder who's coffee mug she was using?)  Anyway, the first thing she grabs is a bottle of Frank's Hot Sauce and pours a dollop on the top of the tick.  The tick looks up and just slides across the top of Frank's Hot Sauce and begins it's wind up the side of the coffee mug.  Next, she grabs the dish soap and adds a dollop of that.  Same results.  At the same time she is now spraying the tick with Fantastic, Renee, her Executive Partner, comes in carrying a lighter.  Now Josh is all over this.  Fire! I mean you should have seen those blue eyes literally light up. Now we go into the conversation about the importance of NOT spraying a cleaning chemical such as Fantastic and striking a match or lighter to it. Now all the while Corey is explaining the dangers of mixing the chemical and fire and the explosion that would occur I see the wheels in Josh's head turning.  Corey is asking, "are you listening to what I'm saying to you Josh?'.  I'm imaging this conversation in Josh's head: "...and Jamo, mom said if you spray a kitchen chemical onto something and then light it on fire you'll get an explosion!  How far do you think we could blow something up?"

Dad is helping me this week in getting the studio complete.  Projects take us both much longer than they use to.  Of all the projects I want to do this one is probably the most complicated because we're switching two complete room which means moving two rooms of furniture.  We're using the dining room as the staging area so the house is in total disarray.  And you know how long I can tolerate THAT!  We'll, I hit my "tolleration

"It was here a minute ago!"

The chicken saga continues.  The cold weather has made it necessary to now HEAT the chicken's water!  The boys went out the first morning and couldn't even get the lid off the water container.  It was frozen shut.  It's going to be interesting to see how they work out the heat issue.  Probably a huge long orange cord!  Then, with the snow storm last night, the tarp over the chicken yard collapsed.  So I would imagine everyone is out in the snow this morning trying to lift and shake off 100 pounds of snow from a tarp so they can put it up again to catch the NEXT 100 pounds of snow!


Jamison loves the snow but because it's so deep and so much of it we're going to need to get him some booties.  He's already started wearing his sweater. He was belly deep this morning on the deck but even before I could get the camera out he decided it was time to come back in.  He was sick this morning and has been kinda laid back for him so it could be he's just not feeling well.


Dad brought the winter clothes up this morning.  I hate the job of switch clothes out but with a very short 4' closet there really isn't an option to do it any other way.  Winter clothes are so bulky.  Anyhoo, that task is complete.  I even managed to store the tubs of my summer and spring clothes in the bottom of the closet so dad didn't have to carry them back down the stairs.  The only problem with me doing that is they're too handy to rummage through if I think I packed something away.  When they're down in the basement, I don't give it a second thought about going down and revisiting what I packed.  Especially when there's 2" of water down their at times!


It's 1:30pm and I'm still waiting for dad to put up the rest of the shelves.  Now, he's taken Jamison and run a "quick" errand.  Right, quick!  He put up the four longer shelves up yesterday and I got the contents of my cabinet moved.  Once he gets the shelves up today, and yet, he will.  He promised and he's never broken a promise.  He doesn't make them often because he promised years ago to never break one.  I see him coming up the driveway.  I just made some fresh tea so we'll have lunch and tea and then it will take him a couple of hours to finish putting up the shelves and the curtain rod and then he can watch football to his hearts content while I move everything but the kitchen sink.  I am so thankful the Lord gave us the work table He did.  I can't believe it was free and it was worth every cent it cost to move it, whatever that figured out to be.  The Lord knew exactly what I needed; the L-shaped work surface and the removable legs that just screw right back on.  No hassle getting it from room to room and when we moved it just slid right along the inside of the truck. I believe that work table was specifically ordered for me and the man that built it didn't even know it! Ha! I love it when everything comes together.

So tomorrow is Halloween.  That means a couple of different things in our family.  One, it's Halloween and we would decorate until our arms fell off.  Not this year so much. Out of necessity we left most of our decorations when we moved.  It's okay though we'll add each year as were here.  The kids have decorations everywhere and needless to say, some of the decor makes noise.  Imagine that.  Just like our house.  If it didn't move or make noise you and dad didn't think there was any reason to have it!  Josie drew us a pumpkin for our front door and brought us some stickers for our fridge.  The entry is decorated for Fall and so we not completely decoration free.  The snow the last couple of days sure makes us want to get Christmas up.  Way to early for that.  It's a good thing the snow is melting 'cause dad was down in the basement this morning and came up with that gleam in his eye.  He's been going through the Christmas decorations!

The other reason Halloween has always been special is because it was on Halloween that dad gave me my engagement ring.  Dad has always remembered every anniversary.  Our first date, the date he proposed, the day he gave me my ring and our wedding anniversary.  I think with the exception of one time a couple of years ago, he has seen to it that we celebrate every date.  And since the four date come within a four month period, September through December, that's saying a lot!  Tomorrow is the 41st Ring Anniversary.  Dad always manages to find the perfect card for the perfect time in our life and this year is no exception.  Thought I'd share the verse with you since you always wanted to read the cards.

For My Wife

How wonderful it has been

to travel life's road with you.

There have been

shadows and sunshine,

twists and turns,

and obstacles we're overcome.

We haven't always known

where we were going,

and sometimes we've

even wanted to give up.

But I'm so glad we never have.

Because, always,

it has been an adventure,

and this traveling of life's path together...

How wonderful it is

that I still have you

to take my hand

and continue this journey

we started so many years ago,

with nothing but dreams and love

to guide us on our way.

Of course, he signed it "Raymond". His name is not Raymond as you know, but I've call him that since we were married.  He must chuckle every time he signs it.

You learned well from your dad son.  You learned how to treat a lady and make her feel like the most special woman in the world...and you did!

Well son, I've enjoyed our chat today.  I do look forward to Sunday and of sharing with you what's going on with dad and me.  I miss you.  Until next time, mom.

It's Sunday Again!

Morning son, it's Sunday again and I'm thinking especially of you. I talked with grandma yesterday.  She and I talked about you and grandpa.  Grandma says that even as long as grandpa has been gone from this earth there are still time she sheds tears.  I had a rough period Friday afternoon and evening, as you probably already know.  Dad and I were talking about his birthday tomorrow and it dawned on me this will be the first of dad's birthday's you've ever missed.  It will be the first "holiday" and I just lost it. I know that you're okay and I'm so thankful that you aren't hurting.  But I really miss you. I know it's suppose to hurt but I never expected that it would cause me to have a weight on my heart. Sometimes it's so heavy it's difficult to breathe. Grandma says that there are still things that happen that tug at her heart because she knows how much grandpa would have enjoyed it.  There are events that they shared together for over 50 years that she misses sharing with him and that tugs at her heart.  She said that although she still misses him she cannot imagine what it would be like if she had lost a child. Children

You, Auntie Di and Grandma

are not suppose to leave before parents. I guess because I've never experienced these feelings before I don't now what to expect. I do know that I love you and miss you so much it actually, physically does hurt at times.  I guess that once I knew you weren't in pain any longer I would be okay. It ain't happenin'.....yet.  And after talking with grandma, and Corey too, who lost her mom, over the years it will change.  How, for me, I don't know yet.  But I know it's okay.  I'm sure people are wondering what this crazy lady is doing writing to her son every week.  You know me, I really don't care. And, I'm not crazy.  It's very comforting for me to share with you just like I always did.  I'm a little concerned about your dad.  I think he's trying to hold it all in because he doesn't want to upset me.  For me, holding it in has never been an option since I met your dad.  He has been, and continues to be, my rock on this earth.  He has always believed in me and continues to encourage, well, actually, "push" is the real word to describe that.  Gently push, but none-the-less, push!  Made you laugh!


Anyway, how's your Sunday?  Full of bright and glorious things I would imagine. I am so thankful for that.  It gives me great comfort to think about you sitting with all the family and friends there.  Dad sees you more actively participating in the heavenly events.  For some reason I see you sitting quietly by the river contemplating and worshiping the Lord.  I see you reflecting on God's glory and praising the heavenly Father.  I do see you spending time with Grandpa; guess it's selfish on my part because I miss him so much too.  Be good, as always, to your grandpa. He loved you very, very much.

Sierra

Today is Sierra's 16th birthday! Happy Birthday Sierra! I can hardly believe it.  She's ready for a driver's permit.  We're going over this evening for a NON-official birthday.  Jamison is away on a school trip this weekend and we don't dare have this celebration without him.  Tomorrow night they're having us over for dad's birthday celebration.  We tried to get Sierra to have a birthday with her friends but she says she can do that later.  She's wants to celebrate with Uncle so the next couple of days is party, party!  I know, so what's new right?!

Jamison & Josie call it a night!

Josie was over yesterday.  Jon had taken her to the boy's soccer games early in the day but she didn't want to go back later she wanted to come to Aunt Jan's and Uncles.  Now really, let's see, hang shelves and finish the studio or play with Josie.  Like that's even a question!  We did our usual, dress-up, the Princess puzzle, ate, watched movies, talked about school, and talked about the birthday party last weekend. As you know, we don't do naps at Uncle and Aunt Jan's so she finally crashed about 10pm with Jamison on the couch.

Guess Who and the "Arm"

Corey, Renee, Paul and your uncle Bill had their annual "Celebrate Papaw" weekend at the The Homestead .  If all of us could just be a fly on the wall during that weekend.  The ammunition we could come back with!  I don't know if I can make this story as funny as Corey did when she told dad and I, but since you know Corey you can imagine her telling it. The zaniness of this family never ceases to amaze me.  Well anyway, Renee, Paul and Corey decided that their deceased mother would not be pleased they were having these annual events and not inviting her.  Corey scoured the "institution" (a more befitting title with these three in residence than "hotel) until she found some poor employee that went "on the hunt" with her until they found in the basement an arm of a mannequin.  Corey, totally jumping up and down at the find, took the arm, dressed it for the evening  in glove, scarf and ring and placed it on the dining table that evening.  I know, I know, right up your alley huh. But, evidently your Uncle Paul is not happy with the arm just "sitting there".  So, as the conversation at the table continued, Paul took the arm and ran it up and down Papaw's (or Uncle Bill to you) face. Now you can only image Renee and Corey right now.  They were bowled over, literally, tears streaming down their cheeks, slobbering and probably snot running from their noses.  Now this is quite an upscale "institution" in which they have taken up residence for this annual event.  Needless to say, they

Renee, Paul, "Papaw", Corey

were creating quite a commotion.  People were staring and trying to find out why this table was having so much fun.  You Uncle Bill appeared to be totally oblivious to what was happening.  Since he wasn't paying attention to the arm running up and down his face and shoulder, your Uncle Paul decided to see if he could get a reaction by running it up the side of Uncle Bill's leg,  That got him!  By this time everyone was laughing.  Corey turned around to apologize for their being so loud and that the reason for the "arm" was to insert their deceased mother into their annual celebration. But the couple at the next table were having such a great time watching the four of them it didn't matter.  Later, Corey discovered the man at the table behind them had served in President Clinton's Cabinet!  It's good to know that some in government can still laugh. Last year at their annual celebration they had begun this tradition with a model of a hand they set in the middle of the table each meal. Your Uncle Bill laughed so hard he broke the blood vessels in his eye and had to have it treated.  This year they added an arm to the hand.  Who knows what they'll dream up for next year.  Only time will tell!  

Kaleel Jamison

I think this is a fantastic way to celebrate their mother.  They all loved her so much.  I hope that dad and I will always be able to celebrate you with such love and joy.  I love it when I can hear you laugh. I hope I never loose the ability to hear your laugh.  Thank you for recording the Christmas book for dad.  It will be so great to have that this year for our Christmas Eve celebration.

Dad's going to spend some time looking for a church this week.  He thinks it's time to get involved with a church family again.  I'll play it by ear.  I don't think I'm quite ready, but because it's important to dad I'll give it a try. I think this is the first time in our married lives that we didn't have a church to attend before we moved.  Dad always went ahead, found a church and a house before we moved.  It doesn't feel odd, just different I guess.  Like I said, right now I'll go because it's important to dad and we'll take it from there.  I know it's always been important to you too.  Sunday was your favorite day! Hope it still is.  Enjoy!


Until next time, we're Choosing Joy.  Love Mom

It's All Good

Hey son, thought of you Sunday. Think of you everyday actually but especially on Sunday's. We waited for your 3pm Sunday afternoon call. I can't imagine what we would have done if you'd actually called!

Dad and I are getting stronger all the time.  I do shed some selfish tears now and then, but get use to it.  It's going to continue for awhile, especially during the next several months.  It was a very busy week last week but it was an awesome week.  It turned out that last week Diane was on vacation. Corey Jon's Diane that is, not your Auntie Di.  You probably already figured that out though.  Let me tell you, that woman works! Not Corey, Diane.  Well, Corey works too of course, but I'm talking about Diane here. Not your Auntie Di, Corey and Jon's Diane.  Got that? You should have, it sounds like one of your sentences.  I miss you son.  Dad misses you.  We'd kinda be weird parents if we didn't wouldn't we?  But, so many times this last week especially, through some very odd mediums, we've come to realize more and more what a wonderful gift you gave us in asking that not visit you in the hospital.  The memories we have of you are wonderful; you laughing, joking, talking together, watching movies together, sharing dinner, staying with you Kristin and Belle, talking about memories.  Just super great memories that we will cherish forever.  We're thankful as we watch a movie or news reports and see parents torn to pieces because of the last horrific memory of their child.  Because of your love, we don't have that picture in our heads.  Thank you!

Ok, 'nuf said on that subject.  For now anyway. (I know you're laughing!)

As I said, this last week was a pepper of a week.  We picked up kids, delivered kids, sat with kids, sat on kids (not really) watched movies with kids, took care of sick kids, played with kids and attended birthday parties with kids.  You name it, we did it and loved every minute of it.  Corey thought it might be too much for us since we had just come back from your memorial service, but it was the best thing we could have done.  It kept us so busy we didn't have time to breathe let alone think.  I did however, somehow, work in time to bake a double batch of Snickerdoodle Cookies. Could you smell them baking? Dylan wants another batch of Skittle Cookies for his October birthday coupon so those will be in the making soon.

Snickerdoodle Cookies

1 c. shortening (part butter)
1 1/2 c. sugar
2 eggs
2 3/4 c. flour
2 tsp. cream of tartar
1 tsp. soda
1/4 tsp. salt
2 tbsp. sugar
2 tsp. cinnamon

Mix first 3 ingredients thoroughly. Blend next 4 ingredients together; stir together with first mixture. Shape dough into 1 inch balls. Roll in sugar- cinnamon mixture. Place 2 inches apart on ungreased baking sheet. These cookies puff up at first, then flatten out. Bake at 400 degrees for 8 to 10 minutes.

Josie and her pumpkin

One of the things we got to do this last weekend was take Josie to a birthday party for one of her classmates.  A party of 10 three and four year olds.  The party was held at a park in Albany.  I don't think any of those little girls stopped moving from the minute their feet hit the ground.  They slid down slides, ran, rode on "cars", ran, slid down slides, ran, had cupcakes, decorated pumpkins and had apple juice.  The weather held until about the last 15 minutes of the party and then it began to rain. It was just as well, they were all just about run out.  After the ride home Josie walked into the house and said, "Aunt Jan, let's play Polly Pockets!"  Josie, are ya kiddin' me? Isn't it nap time?  She informed dad last week that she was through taking naps from now on.  I don't think Corey and Jon share that same idea.

It's a beautiful Fall day out today but the wind is really strong.  It didn't stop dad from taking Jamison on his daily walk though.  Speaking of walks, Corey and Team Kaleel walked 40 miles this weekend for the Breast Cancer Cause in New York.  Next year, I'm walking with them. Corey's going to have to help me get in shape.  Dad and I will be participating in Relay for Life here next year in June.  It's held at the Bruno Stadium in Troy, or one event is anyway.  Relay for Life, Troy NY

Do you hear us laugh son?  We're beginning to laugh again.  Sometimes it feels really weird.  I stop at think, my son just died, I shouldn't be laughing.  Then I think, yes I should because the last thing Aaron would want is for anyone to be sitting around moping.  Which also means, I need to get up and get off my duff and get busy around here.  
Life is good here son.  We are surrounded by family and friends.  One of the daily things I miss the most about you being gone is the daily banter and laughter. I loved hearing from you every day and joking with you; hearing about your day or what was or wasn't happening in your life.  I wonder, do other sons and moms have that type of daily memory.  I sure hope so.  It's really one of the things I will cherish the most.   Can you hear the laughter going on here?  I mean, there's so much.  We really never have a day without smiles and laughter. I am so thankful you are experiencing joy and laughter.

Behr's Tart Apple

You'll be happy to know that the studio is finally coming together.  I painted the two green walls today. I'm lovin' it!  Tomorrow, two white walls & paint white shelving.  The remainder of the week I'll clean the wood floor,  hang my black and white rooster drapes and move the studio in.  Now that one final step, moving the studio in, is going to be a process.  What I'm hoping for is that by Monday next week, I'll be in business. Dad says we'll make it. I'm taking him at his word. 


You'll also be happy to know that Jamison helped paint today too.  With his head, note, butt and feet!  I turned my back on that little turkey propped his feet up on the wall heater, which was west with green paint, got down, rubbing his tail end on the wall, walked across the wood floor with his green feet and proceeded to "hunt" for a mouse under the heater (there was no mouse he just wanted to hunt) and had green paint all over his nose and face.  What a mess he was. I carried him to the kitchen sink and managed to get him cleaned up, put him down and the little turkey headed right back to the studio.  I caught him just in time.  Another mess diverted!

Until next time, mom

A Day In The Life of a Blogger

One bruised, swollen  knee.

Okay, so yesterday was another full day of cooking and kids. A perfect day!  With one exception.  My flip-flop decided to flop and not flip and I took a "header" off of the front porch.  It happened so fast I didn't have a chance to react.  Interesting though that it was a day I decided to wear long pants rather than capris.  I would have been skinless today had I been wearing capris.  Didn't keep me from finishing out my day though.  Today I am moving a little slower because I'm a little bit more sore than I had anticipated.  Excitement comes in all sizes and shapes. Today it's black, blue and swollen on my knee. I've decided to stay off my knee most of the day today.  Mainly because Ray is standing over me!  

Thank you KJCG!

Thanks to all of you for your prayers, love, gifts, thoughts and friendships.  We so much appreciate your support always.  It has been very special during this time of Aaron's transition.  I think we are doing better than we anticipated. Not because we don't miss Aaron, but because Aaron planned so well.  There are so many things that bring him to mind so often during the day.  Everywhere we turn. But, for the most part, the memories come with a smile.  What a hoot that kid was! A jester in the King's court he is.  Thank you Lord!

Dining Room BEFORE

Studio BEFORE

I may have already told you, but the week before Aaron died I had decided to move the studio from the back of the house to the front of the house. The room needed to be painted.  Now most of the time our house is in pretty good order.  Floors are done. Dusting complete. Beds made. Bathroom clean. You get the picture.  However, the Friday and Saturday before October 2nd, Ray and I had moved all the dining room furniture to one side and had piled everything from the guest room out into the dining room.  We had tarps spread out, painting gear strung out and were getting ready to paint.  You think YOU'RE laughing?  Can you imagine Aaron in heaven?  He was probably doubled over!  I'm sure my dad didn't miss a chuckle or two either. Our brother and sister-in-law came in from Maine, other friends came by, Corey & Jon were here and our house was turned upside down.  Tomorrow we begin turning it right side up again.  We'll buy my green paint and the painting fun begins.  I'm very excited to get in, get busy and get it done.  Ray is super great about these types of projects.  He hates to paint but he loves me.  The chances of me not ending up with paint somewhere on my backside are NOT great but we'll have a great time doing it.  Then come the shelves to put up.  I found a cabinet on the street yesterday.  It's a 3' x 6' "paper-sorter" cabinet.  They cost about $700-800 new and someone had just put it out for anyone.  Yippee!  It will be super great for sorting color scrapbook paper, stencils, transfers and all things flat.  After pictures of our project to come later!

You get the general idea.

You think that's great?  Here's another miracle.  Yesterday I dropped by to pick up the car seat on the way to pick up Josie from school. It wasn't there.  I quickly said to the Lord, "I really need to find a reasonably priced car seat so I have one in the car for Josie". It was really just a thought, and I went on my way.  This was about 1 pm.  At 3:15 pm I was on the way to pick Josh up and there on the street was a great car seat, just ready for pickup.  I blinked because I couldn't believe my eyes, stopped the car to check it out.  Yup, in great condition, just need to wash the liner and it will work perfectly.  Also, it's pink which is Josie's very favorite color.  Reasonably priced?  I'd say so.  Thank you Lord.

The leaves are turning.  They are beautiful.  Yesterday there was a beautiful doe in our front yard.  Jamison tried his best - thankfully his leash is only 30' long.  He just about pulled my arm off before I realized he had seen the doe.  He is a determined, feisty little guy.  We missed him greatly while we were gone but he had a wonderful time visiting with Katryn and Sammy.  Thank you Katryn.

We've had a great week helping Jon and Corey get the kids picked up and delivered.  They are a very busy group as you know.  Josie spent all afternoon with Uncle yesterday while I picked up and delivered and made enchiladas for dinner.  We love these Chicken Enchiladas. 

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees if enchiladas are going to be cooked immediately.

5# cooked & shredded chicken

2 - 8 oz packages reduced fat cream cheese, cut into chunks

20 - 10" flour tortillas

1 - 26 oz can Mild Green Enchilada Sauce

3 cups shredded Mild Cheddar Cheese

In a dry skillet heat on medium heat the shredded chicken until warm, stirring often.  Once chicken is warm, add the chunks of cream cheese and stir until the cream cheese is melted.  Remove from heat.

Spray a 9'x13' pan with cooking spray.  Lay one tortilla so one half is overlapping the end of the pan.  Add a large serving spoon of filling along the center of the tortilla. Fold the outside edge of the tortilla over the filling and roll.  Slide the rolled enchilada to the end and repeat the process using the enchilada as the edge for the next tortilla and continue until the pan is full.  Use an additional pan if necessary.  (it usually is!)  

These bake, freeze and re-heat in the microwave wonderfully.

If you want to prepare for later. Prepare the enchiladas as above minus the Mild Enchilada Sauce and cheese; cover the enchiladas and refrigerate.  When ready for use; preheat oven to 350 degrees; add Mild Chili Sauce and cheese and bake for 45 minutes.


Today, Josie at 2:30; Josh at 3:15 and Sierra at 6! Life doesn't get better than this!

Quote for the day from Trey while eating my Lemon Bars; “Eating Aunt Jan’s Lemon Bars is like riding down a mountain of joy, in a chariot pulled by a unicorn who is singing a beautiful melody while diamonds and gold statues of yourself are flying in your face.”-Trey Briccetti

Son, We're Really Home!

Well son, how was your first week in heaven? I can only imagine the joy you are experiencing living with the Lord and basking in his light.  I hope you don't mind the interruption but I have some things I want to tell you. Dad and I love you and miss you but we're oh so happy for you.  How does it feel to be perfect?  I bet you haven't even noticed because you're spending so much time on the important things, like talking with the Savior, singing with the choir, marveling at the River of Life and praising the Lord.  Dad and I are so thankful that you are pain free and cancer free. Bet you haven't even noticed huh?  You're too busy doing important things, like praising the Lord. We're rejoicing with you!  As I've told you before, dad and I are fine. So is Kristin.  You laid a perfect foundation for us all.

"The Gang". Well part of them anyway!

Corey, Jon and the kids have been the wonder you imagined.  They share our loss and our joy.  They've supported us through your transition just as you dreamed they would. We know that there will continue to be "those moments" when we miss you terribly but we no longer feel the pain of being helpless.  Thank you so much for the dream you had for us and for the gift you gave us. We're truly happy here in Troy and Troy is very much now home.  The fact that you wanted us to come back and get settled was another amazing gift you gave us. When we had our conversation mid-summer and you said you'd rather we'd come back to Springfield, all of us knew that it would mean we would not be able to come back for your memorial service.  We all decided that we'd rather spend the time together visiting and having a good time and going to Relay for Life.  We all understood, that financially, we could only make one trip.  You'll be happy to know, if you don't already, that God worked a miracle, again!  When the news of your transition hit the news and the fact that dad and I couldn't financially afford to make the trip, several airlines, and some friends came forward and offered to pay our way, round trip. As you can imagine, it "blew our minds".  

Dad and I were in no shape to handle any of it.  So, just as you planned, Corey was right there.  She handled everything. Jon was right there with her pitching in.  Corey was able to go with us because Jon was willing to stay home and take care of the family.  What a team!  If someone had a question I was just able to forward it to Corey.  We ended up traveling with Southwest Airlines. They offered the best route for our needs.  Corey arranged everything and she said the airline was absolutely wonderful.  Dad and I were kind of out of it but we just followed the sound of Corey's voice and we were able to navigate the entire trip and have a good trip. 

We had many offers from friends to stay while we were in Springfield.  In the end we decided to stay in a motel.  We would not have been good company and it was nice to have a quiet place to retreat when we needed to.  We all talked together a lot about you and our memories.  You, dad and I have talked many times over the years about the memories we created together. Many of the memories  we thought were being created for you only to find out they were memories we were going to need.

Your dad, my knight in shining armor.

You would have laughed your head off if you had been on the plane with us.  As you know, dad has a slight, just slight, competitive streak in him.  Yeah, right! So, he wants to be first to the airport, first to board and first to de-board.  Getting to the airport early had to be defined.  Early for Corey means the plane isn't rolling down the runway! Early for dad means you're at the gate in a seat two hours before boarding the plane!  We compromised.  Corey is a wonder at traveling, as you would imaging since she's on planes as much as she's on land.  She had everything printed and ready to go.  Southwest employees knew who we were and were ready for us at every single gate.  The whole process was seamless for us. Boarding was no problem.  The airlines make sure we were pre-boarded at every gate.  It worked wonderfully for dad because of his knee.  And you'll be happy to know he navigated the entire trip without his brace.  It's the one thing we forgot if you can believe that! But, the good thing is, Corey had grabbed dad's cane when she loaded the suitcases so he did just great.  He loved sharing his cane and what you had written on it so it was just as well that he forgot his brace.  You'd have laughed to know that Corey had looked up Dr. Slocum's office and had his number in her phone, "just in case". She didn't miss a beat.  The most difficult thing on the plane ride for dad was having to wait to de-board.  His competitive edge just really wanted to get off that plane. It was much easier to wait until everyone was off and then we could take our time.  Whether he admits it or not, it was easier for him too and he was less likely to turn that knee.  He's a real trooper though and made it just fine.


The three of us had a wonderful trip together.  We laughed, talked, read, slept and ate. Do you have any idea how many Raisinets your cousin Corey can eat?  Flights were uneventful and we arrived in Springfield about 6pm Friday night. Your uncle Ron and Auntie Di arrived a few minutes before we did.  They dropped grandma off in Central Point at Aunt Lena's so she could have a good night's sleep.  Jim was picking them up the next morning to bring them up for the service. We all had a quick dinner together and then went back to our room to rest for the next day.  I don't think Corey rested, she had a 10 page paper to write!  Besides, I don't think I've ever seen her rest.  I think she has a wind-up key somewhere and I haven't found it yet!

I was able to spend some great time with friends and family Saturday morning.  We all met at Gateway Mall for coffee and later a quick lunch before the service.  It was great to visit, laugh and cry.  We have such great friends in Springfield son.  Dad took the opportunity to run a few errands. Uncle Ron took the opportunity to check out Cabella's. I don't think he fishes, hunts or golfs.  Must be a "man thing".  It was super great to see grandma, Ron, Auntie Di, Jim and Aunt Lena.  It was a very long trip for all of them but it was so great to look over and see them all sitting there in the family row.


I must say we were a little apprehensive about the service. You being you, we didn't really know what to expect.  Son, it was a beautiful service.  Everything was perfect. Your pastor Tony did an amazing job.  The service was seamless.  The songs were just you. Kristin was beautiful.  You would have been amazed or, maybe you were watching, it wouldn't surprise me at all. Dad and I were so blessed.  It was so comforting to know how well your pastor knew you.  It was comforting to see how many lives you have blessed.  It's so comforting to know how many people love you.  Yes, I'm writing in the present tense because I believe that just because the Lord wanted you home it does not lessen the love people have for you here on earth.  Hundreds of your friends were there to celebrate your life.  

We tried to find Mr. Siegle but in the mass of people around us expressing their love for you and giving us hugs we could not find him.  We'll be writing many cards in the next couple of weeks.  

Oh, I know you'd want to know this.  During the service, Tony mentioned your birthday. After the service, Joe Leahy came up and told me that he and his wife Judy were were married on your birthday, February 24, 1973.  That kind of explains the special connection that you've always felt with Joe.

Home, a beautiful sight!

Once the service was over dad and I realized we really wanted to go home.  We had already planned on leaving Sunday morning but I didn't know how I'd feel about leaving so soon.  But we were ready. It is wonderful for both of us to know that Troy is home. Dad said someone was commenting on the winter months in NY and how difficult they were going to be and dad said he caught himself defending the weather in NY.  It suddenly dawned on him that he was defending his home and it really felt great.  Troy is home.  We're dreading nothing any longer.  We're looking forward to our life here.  We're anticipating great things here.  We're finding joy here.  Again, thank you for the gift.  Everyday finds us "unwrapping" another piece of the gift.  We think of you every time we discover something new.  But, it's not with sadness, but with joy.  I'll continue to keep you posted as time goes on.  Continue to enjoy the presence of the Lord.


I have to share one last thing for right now.  Some people will think this is gross and unfitting I'm sure.  I'm sharing  it with you because I know you'll laugh your head off.

As I said, when we arrived in Albany NY, we waited until the plane was clear before de-boarding.  Corey and I laughed our heads off watching dad as he twitched, grumbled and turned wanting to get off the plane.  It was a standing joke every time the plane landed..  On the last leg of our journey, as we were de-boarding in Albany last night, dad was twitching, grumbling and turning as he was waiting.  He looked over at me and said, "Oh woe is me.  I guess I could be Biblical about it and sit here in sack cloth and ashes. Yep, you know your mother well.  I did it!  In rapid fire I immediately replied, "well, we had the ashes but we shipped them Fed-Ex".



We have so many people to thank, including you. You've left an amazing footprint and Dad and I believe your message will continue to ring...Choose Joy!


Until next time, mom

Hello Son - We're OK

Okay son, tomorrow morning at 6:15 am we head back to Springfield OR for your  Memorial Service.You made it very, very clear that you wanted this to be a celebration of life as opposed to a "formal", sorrowful event. So, with that in mind I'm packing jeans, t-shirts and flip-flops.  It's taking all the will power your dad has NOT to pack a suit and tie.  I may end up having to tie him down.  About the only way I was able to convince him was that we're only packing the smallest suitcase we own and we're NOT taking a garment bag.  I don't even want to take the laptop but I can just hear you whispering over my shoulder, "you'll be sorry!".  I don't plan on having enough time to be on the computer.  I can log onto Face Book via my Kindle.  If you were here I could find out if I have the capability to log onto GMail, but given that you're not speaking to me right now, guess I'll have to figure it out myself.  I will say that you have left dad and I pretty well off when it comes to knowledge about our computer and our electronics.  For dad, the electronics knowledge come pretty easy because he has a lot of historical knowledge.  For me, I'm learning as I go, but you'll be happy to know, I'm learning.

I don't have any idea what to expect as far as your memorial service.  I bet there are going to be a lot of people.  You have many, many friends son, and they all love you very much.  You've made quite an impact here on this earth.  Dad and I are very proud of you.  I know that for the last month or so it was very difficult for you to hear us say that we were proud of you.  Since you're with the Master now, I hope you know and understand what we were saying when we said we were proud of you.  You never fell short of our expectations; in most cases, you exceeded them.  Never in my wildest dreams, and yes, I am your mother, but I've had some wild ones too!

I know that you are pleased that Kristin is doing well.  We all have our moments, as to be expected, but she's holding together and getting things done.  There continue to be many miracles, as you can probably see, but I'll tell you anyway. 

Today, Staples recognized your picture on the memorial program Kristin took in for printing and gave Kristin half off the cost and folded them for free.  Later when Kristin went in to pick them up she was told that "a friend" had come by and paid the balance.  



Your friend Mike Peterson and his wife Molly had a healthy baby boy.  They named him Aaron Bruce.  Aaron as a tribute to you.  What a tribute to you and the message you carried.  Mike Petersen In Mike's own words,

"Our boy will grow up knowing the great man he was named after and will learn to Choose Joy. Anyone who's asked in the past 9 months knows that I wanted a less-common name, but the opportunity to honor a dear friend and incredible human could not be passed up. Did God have Aaron wait to die for our baby? I think possibly so."

 Now don't get a big head.  I just want you to know that your legacy of Choosing Joy is being carried forward.

As I said, dad and I are headed out in the morning for Springfield. When Gawker heard that dad and I couldn't make the trip for your memorial service because we had chosen to visit with you in July and participate in the Relay for Life with you, several airlines offered to fly us out, round-trip, for the service.  The best options were offered through Southwest Airlines.  What a blessing this is.  We're so very appreciative and know that you would be so pleased. Corey is coming with us.  

Just as you planned, Corey, Jon and the kids have been right there through all of this.  The kids have turned out to be the best blood pressure medicine either of us could take.  Dad went to the doctor yesterday and his blood pressure was back to normal.  The doctor said he didn't know what he was doing, but just keep right on doing it  We went over and had your favorite, breakfast for dinner last night; eggs, buttermilk biscuits and bacon.  Boy, the biscuits came out beautiful.  I thought of you as I was making them.  I'm really glad son that I have someone else to make them for that enjoy them so much.  I mean really, how many biscuits can dad eat in one setting?  Don't answer that.  

Any-hoo, we'll get into Portland between 2:00-2:30pm tomorrow afternoon.  Don't know exactly what time we'll get into Springfield.  Kristin would like to visit and have dinner tomorrow night.  We'll see what we can do.  Saturday morning I'm going to meet some of my friends at Gateway Mall Food Court about 10:30 am for coffee and a visit.  Don't know who's coming, I just ask them to put the word out and whoever shows up shows up.  I know it will be fun no matter what and I'm looking forward to sharing some stories about you, and laughing.  We did have some great fun didn't we son? I love the memories of our times together. 

I'll miss you when I paint pottery.  I'll miss you when I'm making biscuits. I'll miss you making inanimate objects talk.  I'll miss your quick wit.  I'll miss your hugs.  I'll miss your hand-made cards.  I'll miss your singing.  I'll miss your help in the kitchen.  I'll miss your smile.  I'll miss your laugh.  I'll miss your jokes (such as they were...just kidding). I'll miss watching cartoons with you.  I'll miss you trying to teach me.  I'll miss making t-shirts with you.  I'll miss working in the studio with you. I'll miss taking trips with you.  I'll miss you!

Dad and I neither one know quite what to expect at your memorial service.  I must say I'm a little apprehensive.  Just about the time I think I've worked through all the tears, something sets them off again.  I don't want to cry the whole time we're there.  I want to be able to share the time with friends and share some more with them about how much I love you and what a great friend you were. Dad and I will never get over that you're not here with us but we will do all in our power to live up to what you dreamed of for us.  It's going to be difficult at first, already is.  Every time the phone rings we both say, "I'll bet that's Aaron".  It's going to take some time for us get it all together, but because of your dream and planning, we are in the right place.  Your desire to have us here in Troy and settled was a good one, although not an easy one for any of us.  But, in coming back here this summer we were able to get settled, create a home to come back to, make new friends and get acquainted with our community.  We have a home to come back to because of your dream.  Thank you for the gift you gave us.

Home

We're coming back home on Sunday.  Jamison is staying with his friend Sammy while were gone.  He was so excited when they came to pick him up he just ran outside and jumped into the car.  He wouldn't even give Katryn time to sit down and visit a minute.  It's really difficult to have him gone this evening though.  It's lonesome with him gone and you gone.  I get lonesome for you son.

Please know that you are never out of our thoughts.  I'll be writing you notes from time to time to tell you how things are going. I love you son. You were the joy in my life while God shared you with me. Now, may you always experience the joy of the Lord in heaven.  I'll be very interested to see the task God set before you in heaven.  My mom use to tell me I'd get to do some ironing in heaven because I hated doing it so much.  Hope you're getting to do something more exciting than that!

Dad and I are going to be okay.

Love, Mom

Joy Comes In The Morning!

As I sit here this morning, again in front of this blank page, I am wondering how best to express what Ray and I are feeling and experiencing right now.  So many of you have asked.  First let me say, please do not hesitate to call, write, email, text, whatever method you prefer.  For the most part, our tears have been shed and we're thankful Aaron is pain free.

Sunday, our daughter-n-law Kristin gave us an amazing gift.  As she was working through her own grief and pain, she had the forethought to call our family here in Troy, Corey and Jon, so that we'd have someone with us when we received the news of Aaron's passing.  What a great gift that was.  Thank you Kristin.

To Jon, Corey, Sierra, Hunter, Trey, Dylan, Josie, Jamison & Josh: You are amazing and we cannot picture our lives without you. You are the best blood pressure medicine ever created!

To all of our friends and family.  We love you dearly!


To our Brother Bill and sister-in-law Nancy: Thank you so much for your love and support.  Nothing works like an actual hug.

One of Aaron's hand-drawn cards to us.

I realized not soon after hearing of Aaron's transition,  and through my multitude of tears, that God had done something very special for me...at least I say it was for me!  God took Aaron home on Sunday morning.  Now that may not have any significance for you, but for me the significance is great.  Sunday has always been Aaron's favorite day of the week.  It was a time of reflection for him.  He loved the quiet time before church, he loved being with a church family and reflecting on the love and joy he was able to experience with the Lord at that special time.  He loved being with church family.  He loved singing praises and worshiping.  He loved family dinners after Sunday morning church and relaxing on Sundays.  He loved Sunday afternoon naps.  He just loved and enjoyed Sundays.  He always had. What a wondrous gift to be able to look forward to every Sunday morning and know that Aaron is rejoicing in heaven with the heavenly chorus, singing and praising the Lord with his family there.  Sunday's are going to continue to be very special days around here.  Sunday's will be a weekly reminder that our son is pain free and is doing what he loved best.  Thank you Lord for that special gift.

Yesterday Ray and I found ourselves dealing with tons of guilt.  We finally narrowed it down to the fact that we were feeling guilty because we felt like a heavy weight had been lifted.  We had to work through the guilt feelings.  We finally realized that we were not feeling relieved that "it was all over", but because we had been carrying an unrecognized heaviness.  A heaviness because as parents we could do absolutely nothing for our son.  It's a horrible thing to be a parent, or anyone, as you watch someone you love suffer and not have a solution. We felt terrible that we couldn't be there with him while he was in the hospital.  Then I realized that if he had awakened just enough to realize we were there he would have been horrified.  We would have "broken" the miracle he had worked so hard on for the last 3 1/2 years.  The guilt hasn't gone away and it will probably take some time, but we now see it for what it is.  We can't and won't be selfish with the gift Aaron left for us. He would expect us to Choose Joy over everything else, enjoy life and spread the message.

One of Aaron's paintings

Aaron's message of Choose Joy came from a message he heard his father preach while he was pastoring a church in Dallas OR.  Ray had prepared a series of messages on joy.  One Sunday Aaron brought a couple of friends and came up to visit.  His father was preaching on Choosing Joy and that it was an opportunity each of us had in every given circumstance.  

Happiness is something that is an affect you get when something good happens.  You're happy, you do your happy dance and you feel good. Choosing Joy is a decision you make no matter what happens.  Aaron has told his dad since, that although he had heard this all before, it really clicked for him that day.  He said I realized it was an action I had to take and a choice I could choose. You can make a choice to choose joy no matter what,  or you can wallow in your sadness or life. Sitting in chemo that first time, looking around at all the sad faces, Aaron saw a perfect opportunity to show those around him what Choosing Joy was all about, and he ran with it.  I don't think Ray and I will ever know the true impact he had.  But I will selfishly tell you this, we love hearing from everyone and hearing all of your stories.  We're parents first of course, we take great pride in our son and we love the stories and comments.  We loved him unconditionally and hope you will allow us these few "prideful" days as we read your comments about the son we loved so much.

Many of you have asked if there is anything you can do for us and we so very much appreciate all of you.  Friends and family are a wonderful gift.  They should be cherished and loved.  The best gift that could be given to us is to continue with what Aaron began.  Choose Joy! He wanted everyone to get the message.  He gave us a great start but there is still tons of work to do.  But you know what, it's a very simple task.  No really, it's very easy.  You don't even have to say anything if you don't want to.  Write the words on a piece of paper and put it up in your office or cubby.  Add it to your Facebook, your blog.  Add it to your message on your phone.  Use a smiley face and write the words Choose Joy and hang it from your rear view mirror in your car.  Make a conscious decision every single day to choose joy.  Did I say it was going to be easy?  I don't remember saying that.  Are most of the great things you experience in life easy?  Nice try, but no they're not.  Most of the things that eventually bring you joy are painful.  But, if you don't experience some pain, how do you know what joy is going to feel like?  Take a chance if you haven't already.  Take a chance on Choosing Joy.

Choosing joy can be a real gift to give to your family and friends.  Do you think this is easy for Ray and I right now?  Of course not! I spoke with this grandmother this morning.  She's 83.  Do you think it's easy for her right now?  She just lost her eldest and first grandson at age 38. Of course it's not. Do you think it's easy for Kristin and her parents?  Of course not!  But if you're able to follow their comments on Facebook you'll notice that although there is sorrow for a time at loosing Aaron there is a choice of Choosing Joy that he is pain free. We all have a peace knowing that Aaron is no longer in pain.  

It's one thing to hear about someones pain.  It's something altogether different to see it and experience it.  Aaron did his best to never let on when he was in pain.  He hated us asking if the pain medication was working.  He hated it if we wanted to talk about the cancer, treatment or pain. He would give us the information we needed and then he was through talking about it.  He wanted to hear about good things, happy things and joyful things.  He wanted to dwell on the joy, not the sorrow.

Ray and I believe in this joy. We would like nothing better than to share it with everyone of you. We believe the best way to do that is by example. Choosing joy is a choice that we get to make.  No one can take that from us or keep us from doing it.  It's a freedom we have.  Circumstances may call for disease, pain, sorrow, misfortune in your life.  But, you can choose the reaction to all of life's circumstances.  Like I said, "is it easy"?  Of course not! If it was easy, anyone could do it!  Be that special someone that passes the gift to Choose Joy to all those you meet.

If you don't understand "Choosing Joy".  If you need some one to talk to about this very special freedom you have to Choose Joy, please feel free to contact Ray and I at choosejoy.jamison@gmail.com or share a comment here on my blog.

 

 "Joy Comes In The Morning"  it certainly did for Aaron!