Happy Anniversary Suggie!

Today marks the 41st anniversary of the day we met.  Leave it to say, life has never been dull. You DID promise me a "rose garden" and during our entire marriage, where ever life has taken us, you have planted a Double Delight rose.  My very favorite. You've promised to add one here this spring.  You promised life would never be dull; and it hasn't been.  But never in my wildest dreams did I think that I'd actually get a "hurricane" for my 41st anniversary of the first day we met!  What a gift!  I love you more.

Our life together has been one of adventure, comedy, tears, sweat, work, struggle, laughter (loads of laughter) joy, (lots and lots of joy).  I wouldn't change one single thing because to change one thing could change everything.  We are on a new adventure here in Troy.  We knew when we began this particular adventure it would be challenging.  We are experiencing the challenges we anticipated and others as well, but the joy of being here and sharing this stage of our lives together is wonderful.  

We have many challenges yet to face.  We don't know what the future holds, but as the saying goes, "we know who holds the future".  Neither one of us has ever just set back and let things happen.  We've always been very involved in our lives.  We know that God has a plan but we also know that He doesn't expect us to just sit back and let life happen around us.  I don't image that we intend to begin now.


Our hearts are heavy right now but God continues to give us grace.  We're here in Troy where He has replanted us (with the help of Aaron, Corey and Jon) and the supply of joy is endless.  If we had dreamed our wildest dreams 41 years ago we never would have dreamed this, would we have?  I truly believe God has a purpose and as difficult as it is sometimes I have never wished I could see into the future.  The future hits hard sometimes. We have always believed that God is sufficient.  We still believe that and always will but I am so thankful He remembers we're human and we will always need people in our lives.  God has chosen to add to our lives a whole new "flock".  Excuse the pun please.  

Our son loves us so much that concern for our future was one of his first thoughts when he was diagnosed.  I've had a dream of coming East and getting to know the Jamison side of our family since our first month together. I had almost given up on that dream.  When Aaron was diagnosed it was like the life had been sucked right out of me; and I know it was the same for you. So many people throughout our lives have been a part of this dream.  I've never thought of it before but as we're building our life here and I look back over our last 41 years I can see God's hand in preparing us for this journey.


We've moved many, many times.  Some roll their eyes.  It has been difficult. But you know what, right or wrong, we learned something in each of those moves from people in our lives, that has made our life here possible.  It would take a book to describe our journey and maybe someday that will happen.  For now, let's just look at a few.  

In Bend OR, our son was born.  He has always been a miracle, beginning with his safe birth.  You spent many hours on your knees praying those many hours for my safety and the safe birth of our child. When Aaron was born we "gave him back to God" and promised God faithfully that we would raise him to be a man of God.  We succeeded!


Our move to Anaheim CA led us to Crescent Baptist Church where we had an amazing church family.  There we learned about marriage and discipleship.  Tools we have taken and shared with hundreds over the years. Just think about the friendships God allowed us to have there and how they helped us to grow and mature.  John and Nina Randel took us under their wing and nurtured us as friends and showed us what friendship is all about.  We became a part of their family. What fun we had!


Our move to Oakdale CA led us to Sierra Baptist Church where you finally agreed to be ordained.  All the years since your youth you have been involved in the Lord's work serving in one capacity or another.  In Oakdale we were honored to have five of the most wonderful years of our lives with my mom and dad. There isn't a thing I would change about those years. What a great time we had, what a wonderful 5 years.  God gave us those years.  We also had three very special nieces born during those years who remain a very important part of our lives.  The eldest of the three, Allegra, who turns 16 in October, called this week and she has a job.  My goodness, when she was little and hiding in my doll cabinet did we ever think about her getting a job and going to work?  Our sister has done a great job with all of them and we had a part in that.  What a miracle is that!

Our move to Oregon.  So, so many miracles there.  We have a boundless list of friends we've made. They've supported us through thick and thin and continue to care about us, check in on us and be our friends.  Me, working at the City of Springfield.  What a miracle that was.  There isn't a place on earth where I would have fit in better than with that group of people. A place where I could believe in what I was doing and hopefully give back some of the joy we're had in our lives. Through that job we have a small pension and enough money to make the cross-country trip to Troy.  God planned it all, gave us the tools and here we are.

Now, we're living another miracle and I'm looking forward to another 40 years of "the first time we met" anniversaries with you. Our son remains in God's hands.  It is NOT easy. I don't ever remember God telling us it was going to be easy.  But, we're together, we have God, God has Aaron. God has a plan, we're in it and we're doing it.  Happy 41st anniversary of the day we met honey!

Joy Is In The Choosing

A couple of years ago hubby bought me a little book, Bedside Blessings by Charles R. Swindoll.  It's just a little book with daily thoughts that takes you through the entire year.  I've enjoyed this little book and many nights before turning out the light this little book and the words within has provided much relief when my mind is going in circles and zig-zags.  It's words help to sooth my soul when my mind, heart, head and soul just can't focus on anything with any more depth. 


This week has been a heavy one for me.  I have found joy because I seek it. That does not mean that I don't have to deal with human emotions. Sleep has been very elusive this week but the Lord has provided much joy in so many different way.  That being said, I want to share yesterday's reading from Bedside Blessings.

August 18

"Nothing surprises God.  What puzzles us is permitted by our Lord, for reasons too profound to grasp.  It is put together in the counsel of His own will so that it fits perfectly into His plan for His glory and for His purposes.  As His servant, I say in response, 'I will not fear.   Though I don't understand it, I will not fear.  Though You take something that's deeply significant to me, though You allow a catastrophe to strike, I will not fear.  I will not blame, I will not doubt, and I will not question'."

Cease striving, and know that I am God.

                                                            Psalm 46:10

I cannot truly say that I've managed, at this time to conquer the "I will not question".  I truly hope that the Lord helps me conquer the questioning when He knows I am ready.  Right now, I'm just being the best Jan I know how to be and I know the Lord understands.

When you seek joy it comes in many forms and sometimes you don't even know it's happening until you're right in the middle or even after.  All of a sudden you say, hey, that brought me joy!

This week, joy, as with every week and every day is the example our son sets in Choosing Joy every single day no matter how difficult.  When I am feeling like I want to throw it all in I remember what he's dealing with and what he's facing, I slap myself on the back of the head and tell myself, for crying out loud pull yourself together.  You have nothing to complain about.  Choose Joy and get on with it. Joy comes in many forms, and now-a-days always includes the Troy 9.  I mean really, did you expect anything else?

Josie has spent many evenings with us this week.  And, if you know anything about Josie, after having read my blogs, you know that there is no way possible to not experience joy when you're with Josie! God has given us the gift of Joy through Josie and we thank Him every day.  One of these days, when she's older, we'll be able to share with her how just simply being Josie she brought us so much joy during this time in our lives when we didn't think it would be possible.  That's kinda how God works, you put forth the effort even when you don't think it's possible and God provides.

We've put together a "'princess" puzzle probably 50 times in the last two evenings.  We've made very special chocolate chip and decorated cookies for mom and dad.  We wanted to make them special so we put them on very special plates, decorated with glitter gel, added chocolate chips and slivered almonds.  Then, we needed to wrap them so we used plastic wrap to cover the plate at which point "we" had to have ribbon to wrap it all together.  At this point, Miss Josie discovered my cabinet that contains all of my ribbons!  Right now she only thinks one of the 25 boxes contains ribbon.  She doesn't know there are about 5 more!  She also hasn't discovered the rack of paints or all the goodies still not up on shelves.  I'm saving all that for another Joy Day with Josie! You can just imagine what we're going to create once we get all that stuff together.  I can't wait.

We've started a Hello Kitty sticker book.  I will have to say here though that there are more stickers on our microwave than in the Hello Kitty sticker book.  Oh, the fun doesn't stop there. We're watching movies...or at least we have one running while we're doing everything else.  HoHo and I gave all of our kids movies away as our nieces Allegra, Arianna and Alexis outgrew them so now we have to rebuild our library!  Can't say that's a bad thing! It's going to be fun and we're looking forward to it.

Yesterday I spent the day with Corey http://www.kjcg.com/the-firm/our-team/ and her team  on their monthly "field trip".  We all went to Jumping Jacks for hamburger and fries and then to an off-Broadway performance of  West Side Story at the Proctor Theater in Schenectady NY. http://www.proctors.org/events/west-side-story It was wonderful and being with that group of people brings joy.  They laugh, they love being together, they like doing things together and it's a special time monthly that they spend time (about 15 minutes or so) recognizing specific individuals for special accomplishments.  When someone is missing during these times, they are missed.  How great is that!

Tonight, we're going to the opening night at Steamer #10 Theater in Albany NY of Once Upon A Mattress

Oh, never fear, the chickens are still very active, wild turkeys are running through the yard and are being chased up into the trees by Biscuit.  This weekend is full of activities and birthday parties. The new fridge and stove, which is now in place, is working.  The floor still requires repairing but it's not like someone is going to fall through to the basement so it can wait.

Now, when I share this next story with you please remember that I "warn" Corey that when she shares stories with me it most likely becomes "fodder" for my blog.  This then should be no shock to her. (Jon might be another story though. But, he'll forgive me I'm sure.) I received this text from Corey last night while they were on their way back from she and Jon's "date night".  And this is a direct quote of the text....I didn't embellish!  Enjoy!


Corey: "OMG!!!! Jon just stuck his elbow in my ice-cream in the car while he was on a conference call.  I couldn't find a napkin, so I unwrapped a mini pad, pulled off the tape and cleaned up his arm with it.  He is mortified and I laughed so hard that I nearly peed my pants."


Until next time....

         

Some Days are Unbelievable, Even Here in Troy!

Now I know when I regale some of these stories of our family here in Troy, most of you are probably scratching your heads and saying, "now really, there's too many of these tales to be real", but I swear, the stories are real!

 As I mentioned in an earlier blog, the Troy 9's fridge and stove both died at the same time.  Now, when there's nine of you and always a houseful of friends and family, not having a fridge and stove is a pretty big thing.  There are always fresh baked cookies and plenty of fresh fruit to snack on in the fridge.  Anyway, I digress.  Yesterday the new stove was to arrive.  Ray and I picked up Josie and dropped by Corey & Jon's to pick up some movies Josie wanted to watch.  It was rainy and cold out yesterday, as it is today.  Anywhoo, the contractor was arriving as we were leaving and asked if we would put Biscuit in the basement while his guys were trying to get the fridge out. Biscuit (the Troy 9's dog) doesn't particularly care for people he doesn't know.  He's very protective to say the least but he is the sweetest dog ever. So, we took Josie to our house for movies and games and Corey went home later to meet the guys delivering the new stove.  Now here's where the fun begins!

The Stove Delivery

This is a LARGE six burner stove with a griddle in the middle. Hey, that rhymes. The stove probably weighs in excess of 700 lbs. The delivery guys are coming through the entry and the stove shifts and slides of the dolly and falls about twelve inches to the floor...a new wood floor!  Not only does it fall twelve inches to a new wood floor but it lands on the feet of both delivery guys!  I am not kidding! They managed to lift the stove and get it off of their feet.  Corey, who is expecting nothing but a simple stove delivery and then to go back to work, (Why I don't know.  It's not like that is normal around here!) is there alone and is trying to get towels, ice and get these men off their feet.  Now when was the last time any of us took off a delivery man's shoes and packed their feet with ice?  Don't answer that!  As she looks at their feet she realizes their feet are broken.  Here she is, by herself, two deliverymen with broken feet, a 700 pound stove sitting in the middle of the entry and she's trying to convince these two guys that she needs to call an ambulance and that the need to go to the hospital.  They're arguing they'll be fine and that they need to get the stove into the kitchen.  In the midst of this conversation with the contractors Jon calls to check in.  She's now trying to explain to Jon that "this really isn't a good time for a conversation".  She continues to try and explain to them that their feet are broken and the stove can wait, they're not hearing.  They proceed to get up with her telling them they shouldn't, they put their shoes on, WALK back to the stove, reload the stove and continue with it from the entry, through the family room and into the kitchen.  In the midst of all this Jon, wondering what the heck is going on, comes home in the midst of the final stage of the move and is trying to find out what's going on. Corey is trying to tell Jon what's happened while still trying to convince the deliverymen the stove can wait!  They disagree and continue. With the stove in finally in place she and Jon (who now has somewhat of an idea of what's happened)  finally convince the deliverymen they need to go to the hospital where it is confirmed via x-rays that yes indeed, their feet are broken!  Now there are two dedicated deliverymen!  We still haven't figured out how they managed to get their shoes back on and the stove into the kitchen with broken feet, but they did.  Adrenalin?


For now, the stove remains in the middle of the kitchen until Corey and Jon can schedule their contractor to install it.  And yet another project has been added to the list; repair the floor from the impact of a 700 pound stove hitting a wood floor from 12 inches up. The fridge is in. No worries, company doesn't arrive until Saturday and the birthday party isn't until Sunday!  Who needs a kitchen!

 

 

A Week's Worth...And More

 Okey dokey..so let's see what's been happening around here lately.  First of all, the gang's NOT all here and we really miss them.  Whatever is normal, I'm ready for it to be that again.

It's balmy here again today.  It's about 71 degrees and humidity is 96%.  Ray just went over mid-day to check on Biscuit and the chickens.  They've both been running out of water mid-day.  Who'd believe chickens could drink that much water?  It's also his "sneaky" way of a trip to the grocery store to pick up oatmeal and brown sugar so he can have Cranberry Almond cookies! 


I just finished stripping all the old wallpaper border in the kitchen  and sat down for a few to put my feet up.  The ankles do better with my feet up but I don't plan on spending my life on the couch with my feet up.  Finally found a new doctor that is on my insurance plan and am waiting for my records to be transferred.  Maybe we can get to the bottom of this.  This afternoon I'll get the new border up, beans and ham cooked for dinner and with any luck, Cranberry Almond cookies made.


Ray swept off the porch and deck this morning and had been doing odds and ends that need finishing.  If the rain holds away he's going to try and put his new grill together.  If not today, then tomorrow.  We can always stretch out, watch a movie and munch on cookies. He's such a great hubby.  I don't know what I'd do without him.  All I have to do is mention that I need something done and he's on it.  The problem is that he jumps up and thinks it has to be done right now!    We're both working on learning to relax.  It's more difficult that we thought but we're learning...and enjoying!  

First 9 ft strip of border up.  Boy do I miss my wall paper partner, my mom.  This is the first time in 40 years she hasn't helped me with wall paper.  We use to have so much fun painting and wallpapering.  I miss that and from talking with her, I know she misses it too.

I know something happened....

Today was a grocery, bill-paying, paper-organizing day.  I hate doing that stuff any more, the paper stuff, but I sure like it when it's done.

Girls...you think it's time for a new picture?

Today also marks a day that's almost impossible for me to believe. Yet another of my nieces, Arianna, started high-school.  I can hardly believe it.  Allegra is a Junior and Alexis will be there before I can blink again.  It doesn't seem any time at all since we were all in Oakdale, they were all under 5 and we were swimming in the pool.  They are all now beautiful young ladies and their uncle and I are so very proud of them.  We have such great memories. They use to sit on the counter when we were baking or cooking and play while we cooked. They were in the yard and garden when we were working in the yard, Allegra had her own broom and dust pan when she was two and helped her grandpa and HoHO sweep the shop. They spent a lot of time with us when they were little because Julie worked and we could have them at the shop. Or we worked very early hours because of the heat and then we'd pick them up at day care and take them home for an afternoon in the pool.  As we have learned over the years, many of the memories you think you are making for them (children) when they are young are actually memories for you; chances are, they don't remember.  I'm so glad we have those memories.  It's a great responsibility to have another person's child in your care.

Everyone is home!  Corey and Josie came by for kisses and hugs. Love that they do that! Josie's quote for the week, "Mama, can you help me get a drink of water.  The batteries in my hands are worn out." Josie came in the door asking if she could stay.  She did and we watched a movie, had lunch, played some games on the phone and then headed out to Walmart.  We had to stop by the house to pick her up some shoes because she was "shoeless".  By the time I got back to the car she realized the boys were up and kickin' and she wanted to stay home.  Poor Aunt Jan had to go to Walmart all by herself!  


While I was gone Ray hung the "mesh screen door" at the back door.  It sounds corny on TV but it works great!  Once hung in the doorway, it's split in the center with magnets running down the inside seems.  You simply walk through the screen and it immediately reattaches. We don't have a doggie door so Jamison loves it.  He can come and go when he wants and he does love being on the deck watching the woodchucks and squirrels.

Aaron got his "pump" today.  The pain had gotten beyond what the drugs he was on was able to handle.  He knew the next step was the pump and hated to have to do it but was left with little choice.  I'm thankful it's portable so he can go if he feels able and is not confined to the house.  Aaron has a very high tolerance for pain so for him to agree to do the pump means he had no other option.  Please continue to pray that God will continue to give Aaron the ability to carry the Choose Joy message as he always has.

We were up early. Me, I was taking Jamison out at 3:15 AM for a potty trip.  I did go back to bed and so did he.  When I got up at 7 am I baked biscuits for Ray to take over to the Troy 9. Their kitchen is in the midst of a "minor" work in progress. Their fridge AND stove gave out at the same time! They can use the kitchen sink!  Or at least they could yesterday at this time.  I may have to hide later, (said in a whisper) I took pictures of the kitchen yesterday.  New appliances arrive today.

It's going to be beautiful when it's done!

Jamison & Sammy

It's Saturday and Jamison's buddy Sammy is finally here.  They are having the time of their lives. Right now it's pretty quiet but I think that's because Ray is making burritos and they're sitting right at his feet hoping he's going to drop something.  And there's a pretty good chance they're right! God is so good. He's provided all our needs right down to a new buddy for Jamison.  How great is that!

Tomorrow shelves are going up in Studio J and the chaos will finally disappear as I'm able to unpack the last eight boxes and get everything in its rightful place.  The first of September will see me busy in the studio working on signs...can't wait.  School will begin before we even know what's hit us and that brings all kinds of new adventures.

Next week is full of activity so they'll be plenty to share!

My Hearts Joy

These little gifts I give myself

Are seldom ever seen

They don't consist of gold or jewels

Or of diamonds or rings

I place around my inner self

The things that I love best

The things that give me joy in life

The things that comfort best

You probably wouldn't notice 

or even care to see

But these are very special things

And mean so much to me

 

I count it all entirely joy

To lend a helping hand

I am the most content in life

When I can wash a pan

 

I love to see a shining floor

That sports a brand new wax

Or help to add the final touch 

Or fix what things might lack

I love to see the windows shine

As the sun smiles on the glass

I love the joy of finishing

A very simple task

I love to see the smiles they bring

When flowers first appear

I love it when my Savior sends

A special bird to hear

I love to clean and make a mess

That others would detest

But I can see the end results

Though I always don't confess

I love to clean and cook and serve

It brings my heart great joy

Lord let me keep a servants heart

So others can enjoy!

 

More Adventures

Soon, all will be right with the world.  This little piece of our world anyway.  Jamison will be home.  Evidently he's had a pretty awesome time visiting with Sammy and he'll probably be lost for a few days without all the kids but I'm so glad he's coming home.  I miss that little munchie!

Our trip to Springfield was a great one and one that we wouldn't have changed for anything.  It was great to spend time with Aaron, Kristin and Belle.  We saw a lot of friends and had a great time with the kids.  Finished the Harry Potter marathon and finished the week off by seeing the new Harry Potter movie and then on to Dicky Jo's for a late lunch.  It was a super great day.

I was able to spend some time with friends while I was in Springfield at our favorite hang out, Terese's Place and enjoyed so much catching up.  I have such awesome friends in Springfield.  They give me their love and support unconditionally.  Hopefully they know that I return the same, unconditionally as well.  I know I can count on them, cry with them, laugh with them and just be myself with them.  It's truly a great feeling.  I am so looking forward to having them visit us here in Troy whenever they are able.


Wednesday morning we headed to the Portland airport for our trip home.  Kristin's parents, Alan and Ruth gave us a ride to the airport so that Aaron wouldn't have to make that trip again.  It's a long, hard and painful trip for him to make.  He came up to pick us up when we arrived but I'm so glad he didn't have to make the trip again. We had a great visit with Alan and Ruth and they dropped us off at the airport at 11am for our 2:30 pm flight to Las Vegas. By the time we checked our bag, walked the half mile to C Gate (we decided to take our time and walk because we were going to be sitting so long on the flight), had a bite of lunch, went through security, hit the bathroom, picked up some bottled water, checked Ray in for early boarding, we only had about a 20 minute wait.  Timing was perfect.  The flight was on time and we were off!  The flight to Las Vegas was uneventful with the exception of a poor little six month old girl next to Ray who cried almost the entire way.  Her ears were probably hurting because of the cabin pressure.  The only way she would stop was for her mom to bounce her and hold her in the air.  That poor mom's arms will never be the same again. I remember when Aaron was about three months old my mom came up and took him back with her for awhile because Ray was so sick and I was running back and forth to the hospital with him.  She had to do the same thing.  She said she bounced him in her lap all the way to CA from Bend!  I had to chuckle as I saw that baby's grin every time mom lifted her up into the air.  I wonder how much her ears REALLY hurt?  She was sure laughing as she looked back at everyone in the plane.

We arrived on time in Las Vegas and fortunately we didn't have to change terminals.  We arrived with what we thought was about a 45 minute layover.  We got to the next gate and were going to take a potty break and pick up a sandwich for the flight since we wouldn't get home until 1am.  Ray headed for the bathroom and before he came back they were calling for pre-boarding.  We had granola bars for dinner!  It was a very bouncy ride to Albany.  A great portion of the time the pilot had the flight attendants stay in their seats as well, but we arrived safely and about 30 minutes ahead of schedule believe it or not.  We thought we'd be home early.  NOT!  Luggage missing!  Didn't they know they had my face in that bag?  I ventured out today without makeup but didn't get any screams or screeches so guess everything was okay.


The airlines called this morning and said our bag would arrive about 1:20-2:00pm so we rushed back home to wait.  It's about 8pm and our luggage just got here. The community will be glad I have my face back!

We basically had a day of rest today since we sat here the entire day waiting on our luggage.  Maybe that's what the Lord intended all along.................

Jamison & Sammy

Jamison just got home.  What a feisty little guy he is.  We met Sammy tonight.  He's a little silk terrier and as cute as a button.  He and Jamison are great pals and it's going to be fun over the years to have them play together.  He also had kids to play with and hated leaving them all this evening but I see lots of fun in our future.

It's called sleep folks, all of us do it.  Speaking of sleep, do you have any idea how wonderful it is to go to bed when you want and get up when you want.  I've never experienced that in my entire life!  There are no alarm clocks in our house and only one clock...on the microwave!  The day after I retired I put my watch away and haven't worn one since.  What a liberating feeling that is.  Right now there is a yellow canary sitting on my front porch again!  I love this home!

Okay, new projects since we're home.  The first is to put up some shelving in Studio J.  Our home work area.  My husband was right, this space is smaller than the last but we've worked out an economical plan and will start this weekend.  Tomorrow, we install the gate on the chicken pen.

Next, it will be replacing the apple border in the kitchen with, you guessed it, a border with chickens.  The walls in the kitchen are white and I'm going to paint the wainscoting between the two 1/6" molding one of the yellows in the border background.  The edge of the border is blue which is the same blue as the "Blue House on the Mantle" and the blue in the kitchen floor.

Okay, before I leave you I have to share this "Troy 9" story with you.  Corey sent this text message to me while we were in Springfield and I thought I would split a gut!  Quote (Corey) "Trust me when I say that I couldn't make this stuff up. I overheard Hunter telling his brothers he would eat an earthworm for $10.  None of them took the bait, so to speak.  I did, and he gobbled up that worm like it was his job.  Once I collected myself, I gave him $15 - the parenting lesson was worth the extra $5." And so our Troy adventure continues....

Choosing Joy - Despite it All

Time flies and retirement makes it fly even faster.  Since having retired in February I still can't figure out how I got everything done and worked a full time job too.  Ray and I are busy from the time our feet hit the floor in the morning until 10 or 11pm every night.  How did the two of us work and get everything done?  I bet I'm not alone out there either!

This week, as most of you know, we're visiting our son Aaron and daughter-in-law Kristin.  We're having a great visit and the time is going to be too short but we've worked a lot in.  The past couple of days have been Relay for Life. Kristin and Aaron did an amazing joy.  Thanks to all of you who participated whether it was on their team "Choose Joy" or another team, whether it was through a donation of time or item or whether it was through prayer as the volunteers walked.  It all mattered and it all helped.  One of the speakers said prior to the Survivor Lap Friday night. "I want my kids to learn about cancer in their history class." That really struck a chord with me.  What a great thing it would be if the words "you have cancer" were not the dreaded words they are today. Ray and I have committed to participate in Relay for Life no matter where we are, as long as we are able.

We were able to put up three luminaries this year.  One in memory of our sister-in-law, Corey's mom,  Kaleel Jamison who succumbed to breast cancer in 1985.  One for my sister, Diane Atkins, who is currently in remission with multiple myeloma and one for our son, Aaron who continues in his third year battle with colon cancer.

We will watch the final episode of Harry Potter tonight and are planning to go the matinee of the new movie on Tuesday.  Can't wait to see it on the big screen.  We have really been enjoying watching the series together with the anticipation of the seeing the new movie.  Popcorn here we come!

I've had a chance to check in with a few people while I've been here and some of us are going to lunch at Terese's Place today, Monday.  I'll be there between 11:30 am and 2:00pm if you'd like to drop by and say hello.  I wish I could have spent hours with everyone but this trip has been about spending time with Aaron and I'm so thankful everyone understands that.


We're headed back to Troy on Wednesday.  Kristin's mom and dad are taking us up to the airport.  Hopefully this trip all flights will be on time.  Changing planes in Las Vegas is no easy feat since you have to change terminals. But God is good and so far we've made it just fine.

I just checked on Jamison and Katryn said they're, he and Sam, are doing great.  It's pretty hot in Troy so she says they're laying pretty low.  From the picture she sent I'd say she's right. 


I guess you could call this a rambling blog today. As the time with our son draws for a close this trip I am filled with apprehension but Choosing Joy non-the-less.   Aaron believes this will be the last time we see each other.  As a mother, I don't want to believe that. As a mother I say, "Screw you cancer.  You cannot have my son!"  But the reality is, as I've said many times before, his life is not in my hands.  He's in God's hands. He's not my little boy any more, even thought I tell him he is, he's his own man and a man of God.  He's in God's hands and only God knows what is next to come. I am so scared. I'll just be honest with you. I want God to do what is best for Aaron right now, as long as it's in MY plan.  Selfish, you bet!  Aaron is in constant pain. I don't know how he functions. I don't know how he keeps going.  I look at him and say, "God, is this a joke?", he looks fine on the outside.  Are you just testing me?  Are you just testing to see if I really meant what I said when he was two and I committed his life to you?  If I willingly surrender will this all go away?  Am I a horrible mom for wanting to hang on to him when he's in such pain?  Is this the last time I'll ever see him?  Why are you taking him?  Why would you give him all the talent for singing, writing, improv, drama, comedian, artist and so much more and then just take it all away?


I don't know why!  I do know God is sufficient.  I do know I'll probably always have these questions.  I do know I feel perfect peace even through the anger.  I do know God is the answer. I do know Aaron knows and loves the Lord and is absolutely certain where he will be spending eternity. I do know that he's a special man of God and God has a plan.  I will take comfort in all that God is and has provided.  I will enjoy every minute I spend with him whether it be on skype, in person, on the phone or texting.  I enjoy the joy he brings to my heart, always have and always will.  I don't know if this is the last personal visit I will have with my son.  I do know we're having a great visit and I'm not going to waste time with the what-ifs but enjoy the here and now!