We're Blue - Again.

"Easter Morning" Donald Zolan

Good morning son! And what a beautiful morning it is. The Son has long risen. And so has the sun. Both so beautiful. It's Easter morning. Our first without you. I have no sadness. Loneliness for you, but sadness no longer. 

Dad and I are spending a quiet weekend. By choice.We took a day trip yesterday with Jamison and spent the day in Vermont. We saw some beautiful scenery. Although the leaves are just beginning to sprout on the trees and shrubs we could just imagine the rolling hills as they become greener and greener as the Spring and Summer seasons progress.Hey, do you have rolling hills and grass in heaven? Probably hills of emeralds. Or,have you even noticed? I know if it's grass you're sneezing your head off. Or are you? No sickness in heaven? Right.  Oh well, just more of that human curiosity. 

I think it's interesting sometimes, well, actually the majority of the time, for us I think, the things in our lives that become so clear when we take some "down time". When we push everything out of our  minds but what's right there in front of us. I don't think dad and I have really had an opportunity in a long time to do that. We have finally realized that these are days we really need. We've been intense for so long, we really don't know how to relax and when we try, we feel guilty about using resources, time and money, to do it. We've become dull. We never use to be dull. How did that happen? The only reason I'm asking myself is because I don't want to repeat it.

It really amazes me how the most unusual things can make me see so clear. God has such a sense of humor. He takes me to places where I see no purpose and bang! Right there in front of me is a piece of the answer. One of the first stops we made yesterday was a furniture store. I didn't ask dad to stop because it was a furniture store. I asked him to stop because the sign also said, "candles, crafts and decorating items". Those are three magic words to me. I usually have no intention of buying, I want ideas for decorating and crafting. (Stop laughing!) I know on occasion I have given in to the "buy, buy demons. But, he gets to me very rarely anymore unless it's something to re-purpose as a gift or to sell. Okay, I digress.

Bennington VT

Anyway, our first stop was a furniture store. As we pulled into the parking lot, here stood a huge black and white moose. As we would learn as we continued into Bennington, these moose were everywhere and in every color. Just like the ducks in Eugene! Jamison barked as through his life depended on it. True to form for him. We parked in the dusty parking lot and headed to the store. As we opened the front doors, there, right in front of us was a beautiful, bright spot of color. It was simply a couch. Very simple, straight, tailored lines. It wasn't the couch that caught our eyes, although it was lovely. It was the color and how it struck dad and I at the same time. Blue. Blue thin stripes that crossed to make a pattern on a white background. My mind began to race. Not because I wanted a new

"The House Aaron Made"

couch or wanted to take the couch home with me. It wasn't about the couch, it was about the blue. It was as though a my heart lifted. Dad was having a very similar reaction. Until that moment I hadn't realized how much dad missed the color blue. He was actually excited.Blue use to be the standard color in my decorating. For some reason, except for our quilt from Aunt Lena and of course, "the house Aaron made", blue is no where in our home. Why is that? (Do you have blue in heaven? Of course you do? Sapphire gems though, not blue couches. What DO you sit on in heaven? Or, do you sit at all?) 


Why is it that we eliminate things that we love from our lives? I don't think any two people would give you the same answer when asked this question. But, for me, I can remember, consciously making a decision to eliminate blue. The only reason I can faintly remember for doing it though was that EVERYONE decorated with blue and I didn't want to be like everyone else. I don't think that's really ever going to be a problem for me, but I can remember thinking it. 

My new motto...and in BLUE.

Why is it that we, as people, remove things from our lives that we truly love? That is the greater question. You know that I love country and shabby chic styles mixed. I love the shades of white mixed with the blues, greens, pinks. I love the lightness and freshness of the look. Why then did I go to dark colors of moss green, mustard, gold and deep, deep red? I have no clue. I love those colors too. But, they are not colors I should use to decorate our home I've found. If I really stop and think about it, which I did on the way home from our trip yesterday , dark colors just arent's for either dad or me. 
I
 think when I retired, I wanted things to change. I wanted to be able to see the change. I didn't want a subtle change, I wanted an extreme change. Well, I got it, but it was a wrong change. That change has created some real challenges for both dad and me. I just haven't been able to make this house a home. I know, I know, a home is created by the people in it, not by the things. But no matter where we have lived, our home has been cheerful, warm and welcoming and we felt comfortable and at peace. This house is exactly what I've always dreamed of having and of decorating. But it doesn't feel like home. We've been here almost a year. Can you believe that, a year. Where has the time gone? The things in our lives are just things. But, they're in our lives and if they're the wrong things they can adversely affect our lives. I need to be very careful about what I add or take away from our lives.


I think that sometimes we remove the things in our lives that bring us joy and replace them with other things just because we want to be different. Why do we do that? Why do I do that? I don't know! Sometimes why do I even ask the question? Because, "inquiring minds want to know". (Gotcha!)


Okay, so let's get on with it. It's good to be an individual. In fact, it's great.I don't know why I make drastic changes in my life. I think I made this one because there have always been so many things in my life that I had no control over that I just wanted to change what I could. There's nothing wrong with that. But, this change affected more than just me. The change of color in our home very much affected that most import person in my life, my hubby. True to form though, he's really never said anything outright. He's always left decisions about the decorating to me. However, as I think about it after our trip yesterday, he has left many subtle hints. Hints I don't think he ever realized he's said. I remember dozens of times when he's said, "I miss blue", "I loved it when we had blue colors in the house", "I miss your Cobalt Blue glass collection you use to have in the hutch". Dozens of clues, all missed.


So, I guess what I'm saying is, being an individual and changing things in your life is absolutely something you should be able to do. But, just because you should be able to do it,  and just because someone in your life gives you license to do it,  doesn't make it the right thing to do.


Needless to say, the color blue will be re-entering our lives here in the Jamison household. It's as though a whole new world has opened and the sun is shining again. And what better day, than Easter. A time of new beginnings.


Until next time, be Aaron, love, mom